inside the wonderful world of vee

why gwen stefani is a genius.

joe and i finally got a chance to listen to her newest album, the sweet escape, and we basically concluded this: either gwen stefani is 1) an idiot who makes terrible music, or 2) a genius.

i will argue that she is a genius.

let me attempt to do this nimble goddess justice, however, for my words probably cannot nearly sum up her genius. that and, i pretty much probably can’t even comprehend it. i will try, nonetheless… with some concrete examples for you.

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the hollaback girl example.

by most standards, “hollaback girl” is a pretty annoying track. i don’t know how this track was chosen as the hit song for her album love angel music baby BUT whatever the stroke of genius behind the decision, it worked. and it definitely worked after the music video took off. major elements of the music video: cheerleaders, high schoolers, scantily clad girls… all individuals in the target demographic and individuals people outside of the target demographic like. GENIUS.

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the harajuku girl example.

gwen, in her genius, has you thinking that harajuku girls look like this.

for starters, REAL harajuku girls would probably have “rovers” on their jerseys, not “lovers.” but set aside that bit of engrish, and you will find where the real piece of gwen’s genius comes in: according to google (and i must concur, for i hath witnessed them with mine own eyes), REAL harajuku girls look like this:

and this (not necessarily with a mouth full of food like that savage, though… i want that hat):

but NOT this (these girls are like, straight out of the fucking hood):

so you probably haven’t recognized gwen’s genius in this aspect just yet. i barely have, but i will try to explain it in terms that simple people like us can understand. because of the general ignorance of americans as to what a “harajuku girl” is, gwen can absolutely invent an identity for these girls. after all, the term and label “harajuku girl” instantly sparks curiosity cause it sounds foreign, and then gwen backs that up by dressing her faux-harajuku girls up with geisha makeup. it’s pretty much a flawless plan to further stereotype a race BUT here’s the real clincher: to give gwen a group of lackies who will follow behind her, pretend to not speak much english, look pretty, do nice backup dancing, and most of all, make gwen stand out amongst them.

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the “yummy” example.

in line with gwen’s genius, i surmise that this song, “yummy”, off of gwen’s the sweet escape album, will be made into a video sometime and will subsequently turn into a hit that people will not be able to stop chanting (see the “hollaback girl” example).

for those of you who have not heard this song, it’s a cross between “london bridge” by fergie and “milkshake” by kelis. painful for me to think about, but gwen takes both of these terrible songs and makes a song that is, upon first glance, just as terrible. upon second glance, however, although gwen’s song is the combination of both of those songs, it is LESS terrible than the other two. you do the math. -1 + -1 = -2?? IN MATH, YES, BUT NOT IN THIS CASE! it doesn’t even make sense! that’s how much of a genius gwen is. she doesn’t have to adhere to mathematical rules, godamnit. when gwen is involved, -1 + -1 = 2!!

let us take a look at the lyrics so that we can try to pick apart and understand gwen’s genius in this song in particular.

“I know you’ve been waiting
But I’ve been out making babies
And like a chef making donuts and pastries
It’s time to make you sweat
Sex and sugar is the flavor
Ovens and beaters and graters
Beats made of bongos and shakers
It’s time to make you sweatI came back for my spotlight
(For her spotlight)
I disappeared like Houdini
(Where Houdini)
If yours didn’t come out right
(If it’s not right)
Go to Kinkos and xerox me” this girl must have scored 1600 on her english sat’s, because she uses analogies like no one’s business. i can’t even understand some of these analogies… where the fuck did houdini come from (no pun intended HAR HAR HAR… hm, is that even considered a pun?)? but it doesn’t even matter, you know? i’m just but one girl. gwen is in and of herself at much more than one girl. she’s like, 100. at least.—

the “leave you in a stupor” example.

i don’t remember the last time i could listen to an album and just absolutely be in complete awe and dismay of the events that had just unfolded before my ears. listening to gwen’s the sweet escape album, however, i was completely dumbfounded. particularly when i got to the last track, the live version of the album opening track, “wind it up.” it was completely mind-boggling, and i must say i could not say much more than “omg omg wtf omg omg!” for a few minutes. joe would attest to this. the track simply turned me into a bumbling idiot.

some would say it is because the track is so BAD, but just like it takes a really bad movie director to make a movie that is so bad it is GREAT, gwen can take a song that is so BAD and make it fascinating to listen to. and you turn into an drooling, brainless idiot listening to it because you simply cannot understand how a song like that was ever created. gwen is amazing, man. you never know what she’s going to do next.

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the “one hit track per album” example.

as previously referenced in the “hollaback girl” example and the “yummy” example, gwen has one song off of each of these albums which is an unseeming hit (although “yummy” is not out yet, so this is all just a hypothesis… i may be completely misinterpreting gwen, for this is very possible, since i cannot completely understand her). so basically, gwen chooses one song for every album that will become this ridiculously huge hit that no one can stop reciting, and then fills the rest of the album with whatever experimental shit she wants to fill it with, because after people are so amazed and brainwashed by the first major track of the album, they won’t care what’s on the rest of the album. they’ll gobble it all up, dumbfounded by her genius.

Esta entrada fue publicada el Sunday, July 15th, 2007 at 9:50 am y está clasificada en la categoria 2007, rock music, lyrics. Puede hacer un seguimiento de los comentarios de esta entrada gracias al feed RSS 2.0. Puede dejar un comentario, o hacer un trackback desde su sitio web.