the balance of good and evil.
i’m listening to… orion’s the sound and the fury ep, “feel good inc.” by the gorillaz.
12:48 pm
i’ve gone to malls a couple times in the past few days with lenny, because i have a job interview on monday with sakson&taylor (some design firm thing), and i don’t have any clothes to dress appropriately with. seeing all of the “popular” clothing styles is so so so strange, because i totally don’t know what is “in” style at all. not that i really give a fuck, but it’s like a foreign land, because i don’t know many people who explicitly dress with the current bohemian-ish style, and it’s just so… weird… to think that people really dress this way o__O where have i been?
i have justifications for my actions, but i have to wonder if they’re just to make myself feel better for being selfish and involving so much of the feelings of another… or is there really some potential truth that i know of from past experiences? :/ i don’t know, but having grown up wanting something ideal, i don’t know why i so readily shrink away from possibility. maybe it’s emo in me that wants something to be unsure of. i don’t know. i don’t understand feelings at all, or the nature of anything. i’m just trying to play everything out by ear and experience as much as i can to make an informed decision. it’s funny how much your mindset can change throughout years as you learn more about the world. i don’t know if i just used to be naive, or if i’m just stupid and jaded now, but i sure wish i could be in my current state with the mindset that i had back then…
anyway, josh is coming back from the marines today, for a couple weeks, and i also have lots of crap to do before i leave for italy on the 28th…