october 2004
october 8th, 2004 (rawr)
i’m listening to… anadivine’s “zoo” album.
i’m feeling… okay.
3:21 am — all i have to say is… i’m such a fag when it comes to hot guys… seriously, i’m retarded. any hot guy who is amazingly cool… or any guy who is amazingly cool for that matter makes me retarded in the head. most girls are probably like this, but i just want to slap myself. especially since all the hot guys i meet seem to live two hours away… WTF IS UP WITH THAT… where the fsck are the hot seattle guys… BRAWRRRRR. honestly, as much as i want a relationship, this is why i can’t, unless he’s effin perfect, and i mean - PERFECT… cause i have the attention span of a squirrel.
lost $6 in poker tonight. sat around some @ kelvin and keith’s party. eva and liz and whoever bought nikki a cock cake from the erotic bakery, and uh… yeah. that was interesting :X
(anthony’s response:)
Was it lust at first sight? He was probably 1 of the 6 true loves in your life and you let him get away. 5 Left?
Don’t you love it when youre talking to a hot guy and you think youre a total genius. But then when you get home you’re like “ah shit” cuz you realize that you were talking about roasted chestnuts the entire night. It’s all good, it’ll give you two an interesting story to tell the kids when they asked how you two met.
All the hot seattle guys are taken. Damn 
oh wait, im not gay…. <3 anthony!?
(lenny’s response:)
… no lenny. no.
well… no. dangit lenny…
(my response:)
i think i already met one of the six true loves in my life that i let get away. and then this guy. meaning two. maybe four left then…
but oh wellz.
(anthony’s response:)
maybe you should stop being such a squirrel and just try to start a relationship. first impressions mean jack. well sometimes first impressions have meanings, but not most of the time. i always wondered how you could find the perfect person if you dont ever try to do anything to actually do it… you have to be with them long enough to actually know if it would work out or not (as a case you may know about - but i respect your decision because of the length of time) –
im sure there are plenty of guys in seattle that would love to be with you. you are the coolest person i know. maybe you just have massively high standards that i cant even fathom to imagine.
werd.
lenny is kinda scaring me. hopefully he wont be like Selena’s fan club president and go crazy one day and kill me.
why do i have a fan club anyway? crap.
(my response:)
i don’t think you actually need to be in a relationship with everyone to know whether they’re good for you or not. if i can see a bunch of things i don’t like right off the bat - being in a relationship won’t make it much more endearing.
or even not… i believe in being friends first off, so you can figure out if you really do like them or not… but a lot of people don’t think that works, and a lot of guys assume that if you’re on the friendship track, that’s it (but not in my book)… but i’ve never had it work, so maybe it doesn’t work.
(anthony’s response:)
The friendship track i believe in. Most do not. Successful am I at it? Not so much. Others, varied. I still to realize how you can be friends, or you can be a couple. It still bothers me how people can say, oh they’re your friends you cant be a couple, because in the most perfect world, youre best friend should also be your significant other, am i not right? I think its common sense, i dunno. But then you cant become best friends unless you be friends first, but then you also cant be a significant other unless you go on that side of a relationship and this is just like a total mess of a paragraph now.
Anyway, what i meant by what i said, was not a “relationship” per se, but just like you said, getting to know them… starting a relationship. Relationships dont always equal “love interest” — it just means… a relationship… a coming together of sorts.
anyway, i need to go pee now. and then study more.
—
october 5th, 2004 (m0g)
i’m listening to… crustation [trip-hop].
i’m feeling… …
1:48 am — i’ve been in such a weird mood lately. after strange events and confessions and such ranging from this weekend until now, i’m just going crazy… in a good way. i guess i’m generally… happy?! :O
except i was just reminded by gildas when he was asking me what classes i was taking, that i missed my education seminar class yesterday… and the class is only every other week for an hour LOL. and there are like seven students. GG ME.
ohhh crazy mind.
—
october 1st to 3rd, 2004 (crazy wknd part 1)
i’m listening to… nothing.
i’m feeling… like i just woke up and oh my fuck kill me now.
9:28 am — what the fuck was i THINKING. i agreed to go to CHURCH. fuck fuck fuck. i have so much fucking shit to do i don’t want to spend the fucking morning at church. and i fucking went to sleep @ 5:30 am… BAH KILL ME.
this weekend has been straight-up fucked up. for like, uh everyone. i think. everything has been so hectic. friday night we had a party at our place… second time having a party @ our apt. rules: [1] bring someone you don’t know, [2] byob, [3] dress like trailer trash. hella fuckers. it was alright, it was cool… mr. eddie [kang] fucking dressed up like the most awesome trailer trash ever. honestly, i don’t even know how many people there were cause i was in my room / the bathroom half the time. the police came, and ambulances came too… this always happens. apparently, we aren’t supposed to do these bad things, cause karma or whatever always bites us in the ass, and someone always ends up in the hospital, and eva always gets in trouble with the police X: eva was freaking out cause they told her if they had to come back that they’d arrest her LOL and since she’s gotten in trouble with the police again, she was suppppper paranoid… and she locked so many people in her room haha. she grabbed me, put me in her room, and then i was like, “can i go hide out in my room?” and she was like, “NO!” it was quite amusing -__-
police wrote us up i think. eva told them that everyone was 21, though. and nate [patterson] called the paramedics for arlen because he drank a fuck shit load and he was puking for like two hours, and then he just like… started to cough up blood and stuff… they had to put a tube down his throat and they put an iv in him or drew some blood or something and when they took the needle out his blood was just freaking dripping and the side of his bed was all bloody and shit. matt [nomura] drove my car, and me, him, and trask went to harborview medical center (harborview again), and brett [buchholtz] met us there with his brother drew… this was at like 1:30, and we waited until 3:30 to find out no information because they wouldn’t tell us didly fuck shit, and arlen’s parents came up from camas to pick him up, and yes…
stuff… hsu-han drunk = mr. touchy-feely, it’s so interesting. our carpet now has all sorts of puke and blood and beer. literally. there were about 5 beer-spill party fouls… in like, the first half an hour -__- we had a damn good mix of people though. so police + ambulance = successful party, so go us. also, sometime through the night, a bunch of people got to chanting, “JOHN KERRY! JOHN KERRY! DOWN WITH BUSH! DOWN WITH BUSH!” wtf?!
fucking kill me now, i don’t want to go to church…
on saturday… didn’t really do anything all day, and then went to fucking chisig sorority installs (installs? i don’t even know). it was rather boring. it was at the hilton. had to wear a dress. supposed to be good food. it was not so good. but my date (miss farm) happened to be the most popular person of the night, so omg, i was dating the hottest commodity.
came back, and some people came over and we played cranium. and it was good. and girls pwned the n00b guys (rather close game, it was). and then i was ready to go to sleep and bitches told me gay crap via aim and then sleep was umpossible. and then now, i am awake, thinking about how i cannot say no, and how many things i will need to do today that don’t involve going to church, and thinking, WHY THE HELL DOES THEIR CELL PHONE NOT WORKKKKKK.
(nate’s response:)
Farm is indeed a hot commodity.
(anthony’s response:)
Farm is still a hick. 
(nate’s response:)
Not more than me. I’m about as hick as they come.
(anthony’s response:)
hehe Farm is a newly “self-inflicted hick” i wonder if she reads this…
(nate’s response:)
lol Hi Farm, we’re just commenting on your level of hickness. And it’s always hardest on the new hicks. After a few years, you don’t even notice. NASCAR, Budweiser, and Wal-Mart just come naturally.
(anthony’s response:)
Hah, Farm has now read this….
Farm is so massively hicky its not even funny.
She lives in this city called Sacramento.
so youre driving to Sac from northern cal…
COW COW BARN COW MANURE COW
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>SACRAMENTO
RANCH CROPS MOSQUITOS COW MANURE
ya, you get the picture…
(nate’s response:)
lol Oh noes!
lol No, you don’t understand where I’m coming from. Two factors: first, I grew up in Kent, Washington. We’re talking white trash central, eclipsed perhaps only by Pullman, and they’re redeemed because they have drunk college girls.
Second, my mom’s family (12 of her siblings and her mom) live in Tillamook, Oregon, and my dad retired there. Tillamook, OR. Town of the CHEESE. And the cows. OMFG the cows. There’s this mountain drive, Highway 6, which goes on for maybe 40 miles; then within a few hundred yards you emerge from the mountain and it’s flat farmland; another mile on, and the smell hits you, like a wall of cow patties.
And, of course, who can forget the cheese factory.
But I suppose my heritage doesn’t immediately qualify me for hickness. How else might I qualify my hick nature? I drive a white minivan, though I suppose that qualifies me more for white trash status.
(anthony’s response:)
Hehehe. I grew up in umm Woodinville, WA for 2 years of my life… which is luckily in civilization. But within a few miles and over the hill is god-forbid… Duvall/Monroe and all that non-sense out there…
Then I moved to Kenmore, WA, which is a nice suburb of Seattle right on the north shore of lake wa, but man, its like trailer trash city which is full of bars, and umm the infamous Kenmore Lanes. It’s like the city is divided into the central trash, and the outskirt nicerness. Haha. (kinda like Issaquah i guess)
But Farm is a rare case, cause she is a self-proclaimed Hick mostly cause she likes a hick from the Indianapolis Colts. I dunno of many people who woudl do such a drastic thing… but shes one of those nutso psychos you know? Farm, you’re odd.
jk. Farm is so radical its like totally gnarly dude. She singlehandedly stole a large chunk of my music collection and was temporarily given the titled “mini-ant” which i dunno why because i am much more beautiful than she is. And man, I am much cooler too. And well, geez, I guess who wouldnt want to be me? Come on.. thats a gimme.
(nate’s response:)
Woodinville’s smack dab in the middle of civilization! Quick question, did you go to Woodinville High School? I know some people there, and of course since you were there at the same time you should know them too, and then there’d be some deep connection between all of us.
Of course.
Yeah, Monroe’s pretty out there. Othello’s wayyy fucking out there, though. I went out there hunting with my dad for a few years, on the weekends of course.
Ah, Kenmore… yeah, I don’t know much about Kenmore. Issaquah’s hickish. Dang, I miss Almost Live!.
Colts… is that a basketball team? …
I’m not kidding, I don’t even remember what category of sports the Indianapolis Colts are a part of. Shows you how little I pay attention to sports.
There is nothing wrong with being a self-proclaimed hick. You just have to make sure you know real hicks, so that your hickness doesn’t go overboard. That happens for too long and you find yourself one day wearing a mullet, drinking Bud Light, and wearing a sweat-stained tank top. And that wouldn’t be a pretty sight.
Farm is so radical.. but did she flip out once and totally kill everyone in a diner because some guy dropped a spoon? Does she flip out for no reason?
I wouldn’t want to be you… but I’m a ninja, and ninjas are way cooler than any mortal human.
(anthony’s response:)
Nah, I went to Inglemoor HS and im sure you know all 384023840238 of us that hang out with Vivian…
Hah, this is funny, we’re having our little side convo in her msgboard. lol.
Almost Live! was GREAT. Freakin John Kiester is awesome. They need that show back. I loved all the ballard jokes… haha. And all those years of bad mariners and seahawks jokes… HAHAHA.
(my response:)
farm is hot for like… a freaking japanese drug addict… PERFECT FOR HER NEW POTENTIAL JAPANESE BF *COUGH COUGH FARM*
(farm’s response:)
whoa whoa whoa! you bums. carrying on about me!
but yes, japanese drug addict = hotness. must meet him again…but in a sober manner this time. no more “stuff” in between. veee is cool cos she shall hooook it uuuuuuup. =) NO jk. he’s way too hot to handle.
(my response:)
oh you know me. imma hook it up guh.
imma hook up eva too.
now i just gotta find someone for liz.
and we’ll all be set.
(nate’s response:)
What a matchmaker!
(anthony’s response:)
farm is hot dude. i cant stand looking at her shes so hot. wait… that didnt come out right….
jk Farm is way cool. She has pretty good taste in music and you know… thats important. Plus I am going to rush for her sorority..
Oh yea, Colts = FOOTBALL TEAM; player = Peyton Manning, who I must say is the best QB in the NFL, and there should not be any contention to that considering what he’s done just this year alone. Brett Farve is #2 cause he plays through all sorts of crazy injuries, and #3 is ummm debatable. I am not a daunte culpepper fan… not at all.
Farm is cool cause she follows football too. See, dang, shes a pretty gnarly hick.
(nate’s response:)
She is indeed difficult to gaze upon. Her beauty blinds like the rising sun, yet entrances like the night’s starry expanse.
What kind of music does she like? lol I suppose I should be asking HER this. FARM - what kind of music do you like?
You know, I’d rush for the sorority, but… something about being a huge white guy that’d probably disqualify me.
I’ve never paid much attention to professional sports, I guess I’ve never found them that interesting. I played in marching band in high school, though. I’d read books between songs. <— quite possibly the most socially pathetic paragraph ever to come out of my… keyboard.
But I do agree, she’s cool for following sports at all. I’m an on again off again fan of hockey.
I should think the key question of the day to be: Is she gnarly enough to be a TMNT? I’m saying yes, but I’m already Leonardo.
(anthony’s response:)
I will not answer for Farm because she now reads this thing .hahha.
But she steals all my indie rock music, which is quite a bit. And umm she sometimes takes the emo/punk stuff too.
Im thinkin bout being Donatello for halloween — im going to a seahawk game wtih some people and we have enough people to be the 4 turtles, splinter, casey jones, april and vernon. Ya…
I already have the idea in play: I buy a kids costume of Donatello and cut it up and just sew it on a t-shirt and tape it to my jeans or something, and voila, instant ninja turtle custome. And then i find a random branch of the ground and that’s my Bo. And the mask, well it may fit me… maybe with some mods i can make it work. Yaaaaaaaa. That would be totally gnarly dude. Cowabunga!
(nate’s response:)
What kind of indie rock music? And what kind of emo and punk music? My own collection is quite extensive, but I’m just a college bandwidth thief.
Which reminds me, I need to burn a copy of Kenna (New Sacred Cow) and Blessed Union of Souls (Walking Off the Buzz). Hooray for… well, whatever category of music I feel like indulging myself in this morning.
See, now that sounds like a cool idea for Halloween. I’ve given absolutely no thought to what I want to do for Halloween; I’m split between guiding groups of kids from next door (Blakely Village) around Nordheim or getting sloshed at a party somewhere.
I was always a fan of Leonardo and Donatello… Michaelangelo was a close third, Raphael was always way in fourth. Of course, Splinter rocked all of them.
You take the ugly one!
No, you take the ugly one!
I’ll take the ugly one!
Which one’s the ugly one?!
(anthony’s response:)
I always liked being Donatello in the nintendo ninja turtles game (the 1st one) cause he was thecoolest one to be. Yaaaaaaa. Crap i should get an emulator to play that game… it rocked.
What kind of indie rock? Umm i have everything from indie-pop, to post-rock… big fan of post-punk and electro-pop myself. But then im starting to get into post-rock with the crazy guitar effects like Mono and M83 and stuff like that.
What kind of emo/punk? I am big into Get Up Kids… YA!! And Jimmy Eat World. Ya! and brand new… and thursday… and lots of bands… but not a big follower anymore. ive been converted.
i have no idea what to do on halloween either… just going to seahawk game in the day time for now ;|
(lenny’s response:)
Hicks that listen to Indie rock. Wow~