november 2002
november 30th to december 2nd, 2002 (quatnity over quality)
i’m listening to… nothing because freaking realaudio charges you money to listen to their streaming audio files… WHAT THE FUCK! motherfuckers!
i’m feeling… sick… sort of like a physically sick mixed with carsick feeling -__-. i feel like a sugarbob. yeah, that’s right. … i don’t even quite know what a sugarbob is, but i assume it is something that feels very sugary. i made up the word anyways. =/ so okay, it is something that’s very sugary or feels very sugary. if that makes sense. …
friday, november 30th — did nothing all day. woke up rather early because i went to bed really early the night before. did nothing at my older uncle’s house. wHoOo… then at night we had a family dinner thing with the whole family… with an exception of my aunt (my mom’s older sister) because she is freaing scary and pessimistic and negative and condescending as hell. man, and i thought i was negative. she makes me look like the freaking… something that looks really happy. can’t think of anything at the moment X__x. anyways, the first cnversation i hear her engaged in:
+ aunt — kai kai, shui jian le ni de toufa? (kevin, who cut your hair?)
+ kevin — my friend.
+ aunt — zhe me hui jian le yi ge ne me nan kan de toufa? (why did you get such an ugly haircut?)
freaking witch woman, i tell you. my other cousin, joe, is like 22… i think… and she kept rushing him around and telling him to go home and stuff. they came for like ten minutes and she’s like, “shouldn’t you go home?” and he said, “we just got here!” and she’s like, “okay, we’re leaving in ten minutes.” ten minutes later, she comes back, and everyone else tells her to let my cousin stay for a little while longer, and she tells him another ten minutes and then makes him go home. dude. he is 23, and it was freaking 6:30 or something. yeah, he said he had to study, but whatever dude. he should be able to make decisions on his own. =/
afterwards met up with my twin, allen [ma]. he (well, his friend joe) drove up from atlantic city to meet me. ^__^ like an hour and a half? two hours? =/ cool. there was nothing to do in the area though, so we just went to the mall. people say that’s all there is to do in new jersey: go to the mall. =/
saturday, december 1st — went shopping at some outlet stores in the daytime. didn’t really find anything that great until we went to the delia’s outlet… CHEAP CLOTHES GALORE! i love the freaking delia’s outlet. usually delia’s is way overpriced, but the outlet it mad cheap… so i bought a pair of pants, three sweaters/tops… yeappo. ^o^ and mommy paid for it all! MUHAHAHA… it was buy three things get one free, so i got one of the tops for free too. *thumbs up.
at night, we went to dinner with the whole family (other than the scary aunt and my little cousins). my little cousins stayed at my younger uncle’s house playing video games, watching tv, and playing counterstrike. haha. =/ it was alright… really expensive food though. =/ afterwards went to my younger uncle’s house and played counterstrike muhahaha. my uncle plays counterstrike. i think he is pretty good? not sure.
sunday, december 2nd — didn’t do much in the daytime… went to the asian supermarket… and went to go see my grandma and grandpa one time before i left. i got a ‘red envelope (hong bao)’ with $120 from them! for my birthday! =/ ^__^ man, my grandma is so senile now… i think it is because she has no one to talk to all day and all she really does is watch the television and so she doesn’t really think that much… the only person she really has to interact with is my grandpa, and well… =/ not enough, i guess. it’s really quite sad how skinny she is now and how unclear she is about things. pretty dang crazy. some things she can remember, but apparently earlier (not while we were here), there are days when she can’t eat by herself. mostly, my grandpa feeds her. she can’t walk at all anymore. she’s sooooo skinny, it’s crazy really. =/ i don’t want to be old… seems like she’s so helpless and lonely and sad. =/ she was crying because she felt so touched that we came to the east coast to see her and stuff… i’m really glad we came because i have a feeling that… well, don’t want to curse things, so i won’t really write what i think although everyone kind of has a feeling. -___-;; anyways, it’s quite sad. yes… but my grandpa is balling man. he has like every kind of multimedia thing there is. he has internet… he’s getting cable, although he has dial-up right now… and he has a flatscreen monitor!! geez, i want that shit! and he has nintendo and two tv’s… vcr’s, obviously, dvd player that plays vcd’s, dvd’s, mp3’s, whatever, everything… jeez freaking cool hahaha. man, if i had that stuff in my dorm room, THAT would be cool.
later in the day, we went to do MORE outlet shopping and i bought two tops and two pairs of pants =X i have mad winter clothes now. and summer clothes at home. i’m all set… forever… i think i probably spent around $150 on clothes this trip? not that bad, i guess, considering the quantity. quantity over quality, i say. i could care less how shitty it is, really. hahaha. i got an american eagle shirt for freaking three bucks. HAHA. dopeness. :] and gap jeans!!! only $15 dude… it was $30 minus 10 bucks plus 20% off… DOPENESS to the maximus. :] well, my wrists are getting sore. =/ gosta bizounce and packalack. baibai.
(diana’s response:)
you have a family full of — how shall i put it? — interesting characters. XD you should have bid farewell to your wicked aunt with a hearty: “YO BITCH I’M OUTTIE! PEACE!” but your math spiel at the end has left my brain frazzled! numbers are the enemy! i shun you!
—
novembre 28th to 29th, 2002 (happy turkey day)
i’m listening to… “without you” bai kiss, “tell me, tell me” bai s#arp, “blue sky” bai s.e.s. [all korean].
i’m feeling… tired.
12:08 pm — so it turns out my little cousin kevin is a korean music junkie also. his whole winamp playlist is korean music… that i’m listening to right now. hahaha. interesting, indeed. =X i DID think that his hair was reminiscent of korean singer hair, but now i guess i’m right… hahahaha. interesting. also interesting that all of a sudden my parents are saying we should go vacation in korea because they started watching korean music dramas and stuff… hahahaha.
anyways, i got to new jersey yesterday for thanksgiving break. i left at five in the morning for the airport (joann took me… i owe her big time). took a flight to san francisco international airport where i met up with my parents and brother and then transferred a flight to newark international airport in new jersey. hahaha. (sorry, i’m still amused by the whole korean music thing). anyways. i’m happy cause i lost enough weight to fit into my old clothes! freaking dopeness. i’m going to call up allen [ma], hopefully, and see if he wants to go pick me up so we can go kick it and all that ish. O__o cept… i’m not exactly sure what his number is anymore so i have to get it from somewhere… jea jea. there’s no one to talk to on aim right now because it is 12:12 pm here, meaning 9:12 am over there on the west coast -__-;;;
i wish i had a car here… or more days or something. stayed at my mom’s older brother’s house last night and yeah… i got my own room cause all my other cousins are boys… haha. maybe that explains part of my non-girliness (probably not). -__-; i’m freaking bored. and tired… even though i woke up two hours ago. oh well. my brother said that he suppoesdly is going to buy me a new computer, but somehow i highly doubt it. X__x
i want to play counterstrike.
there’s not much to do here… this uncle’s whole family is quite… _____ (can’t think of the word). basically, as my uncle says, “each member of their family spends their lives with their computers”. heh. =__=;; the older cousin plays a text-based online game. i didn’t even know they had them! O__o oh well i’m going to go do something else so peace outside. hope everyone has a happy turkey day and what not. v(-_-)
—
november 26th, 2002 (macguyver says clotheshangers are handy)
i’m listening to… “overrated” bai allister [punk rock], “timing” bai allister [punk rock], “another perfect day” bai american hi-fi [alternative rock].
i’m feeling… um…?
3:39 pm — man, i know some hoes here. =X so people say once you have sex once, if you have it again with other people, it doesn’t really matter. i don’t agree. but whatever. =/
i have to go run errands. =( i’m going to give everyone i haven’t talked to in a while a phone call within this week or so… so be expecting it! =)
i’m still sick dude =/ i’m going to like… die. =/
so i just spent fifteen minutes helping eva open a drawer… you know when drawers are too full and you can’t close them because something is stuck in it? well she had a printer cartridge box stuck in the drawer so it wouldn’t close, so we spent like fifteen minutes using clothes hangers, rulers, measuring tape, and a flashlight trying to get it dislodged… hahaha… actually pretty fun. =] reminds me of the last summer when a bunch of us were at 7-11 and someone locked the keys out of his/her car and the boys had to use a clotheshanger to fish the keys out of a purse. =] fun.
—
november 25th, 2002 (the road to SOMEWHERE)
i’m listening to… “dream your dreams” bai space girl [hard trance], “ready, steady, go!” bai paul oakenfold [breakbeats], “cold and all alone” bai mxpx [punk rock], “step back” bai silverblue [vocal trance], “here is gone” bai goo goo dolls [alternative rock], “drug ballad” bai eminem [hip-hop].
i’m feeling… *yawn… tired.
quote of the day — “the man is the head (of the house) and the woman is the neck. the neck can turn the head any way it wants to.” - my big fat greek wedding.
12:41 pm — it’s nice to finally have an idea what you want to do, you know. so i’ve finally decided on a major. you know, they say that major doesn’t really matter what you do, but it matters to me… regardless of whether or not it matters later. i don’t want to choose a major just because. i want to choose it because i like it. so… since i’ve been to college, the options went from linguistics to asian languages and literature to communications to sociology to graphic design. but i’ve finally figured it out and i’m working on it… working on what i really DO want to do =/ so… this is my tentative schedule for next quarter… this is like the most ugly schedule i’ve ever had in my life =/ english is likely to change to art 121… that is if the class is still open by then… because on december 2nd, if it’s still open, the class is open to non-art majors as well (me)… hopefully i will get in =X wish me luck… because then i can apply, i believe. a peek at my horribly ugly schedule below… man, i’m going to die… i’ve never really had an 8:30 class before =/
| Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 8:30 | SOC 220 AD MGH 241 |
SOC 220 AD MGH 241 |
SOC 220 AD MGH 241 |
SOC 220 AD MGH 241 |
|
| 9:00 | |||||
| 9:30 | GIS 130 A CMU B027 |
GIS 130 A CMU B027 |
GIS 130 A CMU B027 |
||
| 10:00 | |||||
| 10:30 | |||||
| 11:00 | |||||
| 11:30 | SOC 220 AD SAV 131 |
||||
| 12:00 | |||||
| 12:30 | ENGL 197 B DEN 302 |
ART H 202 AC ART 004 |
ENGL 197 B DEN 302 |
ART H 202 AC ART 004 |
ENGL 197 B DEN 302 |
| 1:00 | |||||
| 1:30 | |||||
| 2:00 | |||||
| 2:30 | |||||
| 3:00 | |||||
| 3:30 | ART H 202 AC KNE 130 |
ART H 202 AC KNE 130 |
ART H 202 AC KNE 130 |
||
| 4:00 |
i think i’m going to get carpel tunnel… =/ my wrists hurt like mad after that one night of crazy counterstriking… =/
i’ll tell you the only bad part about this online journal ish… =/ you can’t write everything you think and feel… or if you do, it has to be horribly ambiguous and in a couple of years you probably won’t even know you were talking about anymore =/
you know what’s retarded? people who go to raves and always need a ho. whatever.
i don’t think i like you much.
* GARBAGE - I THINK I’M PARANOID *
lameness again
have you ever:
[pictured ur crush naked?]: well i don’t really HAVE one… =/
[actually seen ur crush naked]: ^ above ^
[been in love]: nope.
[cried when someone died]: i’ve never known anyone who died.
[drank alcohol]: yeah.
[lied]: what a stupid question.
[fallen for ur best friend]: nope. but i haven’t fallen, period.
[been rejected]: oh certainly.. all the time.
[rejected someone]: somewhat.
[used someone]: probably, but i don’t know an example. everyone uses people. people are shallow like that… even if you think yourself so high and noble… you probably still have. i’d bet on it.
[been cheated on]: no.
[done something u regret]: not really.
opposite sex:
[what do u notice first?]: hair or clothes.
[do you go for looks?]: yeah. i’m shallow, i guess. =/ but then i always stop myself…?
who was the last person…
[u talked to]: eva (my roommate).
[u hugged]: haha umm seungbum.
[u instant messaged]: david shibata.
[u laughed with]: lewis and eva.
[u were on the phone with]: my mum.
[color ur hair]: black (i dyed it black).
[ever get off the damn computer]: never =/
[habla espanol]: si, hablo espanol.
[dance]: at raves.
[sing]: always.
[smoke]: canibus, somewhat. cigarettes, barely ever.
[obsessive]: about a lot of things.
[could u live without the computer?]: not after i’ve had it =/
[whats ur favorite food?]: who cares.
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: bananas and asian pears and cherries and grapes and lychees.
[like watching sunrises or sunsets]: sunsets.
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: both. =/ but i guess emotional.
final questions:
[I want]: to get a life, to go home, to do things right, to lose weight, to go snowboarding.
[I need]: …
[I wish]: i could go to asia and go shopping. =/
[I love]: lots of things.
[I fear]: being poked.
[I wonder]: why we live.
[I want to kiss]: …
—
november 23rd, 2002 (a whole new level of patheticness)
i’m listening to… “without me” bai eminem [hip-hop], “symmetry” bai brainchild [breakbeats], “knight of a doll” bai next [korean r&b].
i’m feeling… pathetic.
6:44 pm — i’ve discovered… there are no situations that you have no possibility of being in. no matter how absurd, how against it, how unlikely a situation may be, it’s still possible that you may find yourself facing it.
…
not sure what kind of comment that was.
so i reached a whole new level of patheticness yesterday… i played counterstrike with some homies from hmm… four am to twelve pm… =/ eight hours of playing counterstrike on my piece of shit computer and being completely and absolutely nokturnal. =/ geez, i don’t know… i really find it odd that guys find it so fascinating that a girl plays. i would imagine more girls play than do, i guess. guys are such fags… it’s like they all always have this subconscious or maybe not so subconscious belief that girls can never do as well as guys at that stuff… that is such bullshit. of course, i am not one to prove the matter otherwise, but it doesn’t mean that there aren’t girls that can. =/
anyways, let’s not trade presents this year kids (for christmas)… if that’s cool with you, let me know. i’m hurting for money, and i’m sure other people wouldn’t mind either. =/ or else… we buy each other presents AFTER christmas… KAKAKAKA. =P
i don’t really know why, but i am completely and absolutely into monogamous relationships. i don’t have a reason for this, really… i’ve never been in an actual relationship, but… recently i found out some people geez… just screw everything or something… have sex with like six, seven, eight people who mostly aren’t even their boyfriends… i don’t think i could ever do that… i would just feel so dirty and blechhhh… sick… there are a lot of people like that too.
i wonder if it’s really true that once a cheater, always a cheater. i’d like to believe it’s not, but it seems like many of the individuals who fuck it up once fuck it up more than once in the long run. and sometimes they cheat, admit to wrong, cheat again, admit to wrong again, and then lose it all… and then afterwards they realize just how much of a good thing they lost. not that i’m thinking of anyone in particular or anything *rolling eyes. and then they try to claim it is love and they just made mistakes, but had it been love, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.
—
november 22nd, 2002 (criminal justice and the legal system)
in criminal justice today we had a guest speaker come in. she is this lady who does animated documentaries about topics like crime and domestic violence and murder and stuff. hella fucking interesting. cartoonized documentaries man. way cool. waaaay cool. =) and anyways, she talked about these organizations nationwide that help release innocent prisoners from prison. these organizations investigate and find out if these people are innocent, and then try getting them released from jail. so cool, so cool. i would work for that any day. fucking dopeness. it’s sort of like being a lawyer, but not. =/
although there is dna evidence in only 20% of cases, some of these organizations only work on cases with dna evidence available, and just from that, there have been one hundred and fifty people exonerated. can you imagine how many people must be put in jail wrongly? =/
man, the whole united states legal system is mad shady, for reals… prosecutors get accused or proven of of prosecutorial misconduct all the time and it doesn’t even matter because they don’t get in trouble. there are some legal sanctions that protect prosecutors from getting in trouble even if they do stuff wrong. and dude… forensics are only available for prosecutors and not for the defense. i didn’t know that. what the hell? that’s mad fucked up =/
actually, canada has a better legal system… i really forget the reasons why now because i only got like two hours of sleep before i went to class, but it was really really interesting… because canada found that they convicted some people wrongly and so they had a meeting and many people from around the world came, and they sat down and thought of how they could make the legal system there better… and they changed things. and in the united states, although innocent people get convicted all the time, they are unwilling to change. in the united kingdom, they wrongly convicted and executed just TWO people, so they completely abolished the death penalty there. that is dopeness. also… if people are proven innocent in america, they most likely don’t even get an apology and under some circumstances, their freedom is exchanged for their non-sueing of the state. how fucked up is that?
that is all for now. man, criminal justice is hella freaking interesting. =)