no boys until college.
* song of the moment * - “i believe in you” bai joe and n’sync [english]. i friggin LOVE the lyriks to this song… if i could find a guy that these lyriks held tru for, i’d be set. hmm… maybe.
* mood * - i’m not really any mood. i’m STILL jealous, tho. -_-;
i fell asleep during church today. urrrr. and stupid fil took a picture of mee sleeping. double urrrr.
again, the first thing i saw today when i got back from church was an e-mail from claire telling mee that godammit, yesterday she met fly to the sky AGAIN, and not only them, but shin-fucking-hwa also. i’m so… AGH!! i want to scream. actually i DID scream outloud while i was reading her e-mail. a squeal of jealousy. hrmph. @ least she got mee an autograph from brian from fly to the sky, sean from jinusean, and minwoo from shinhwa now… minwoo and brian being two of mai favorite gasoo deul in the industry [next to eun jiwon]. so yes, i guess i am definitely happy. but sad. but happy. but jealous. *sigh. oh well. mee and mai bad luck prevails…? godammit, if it’s the karma thing, i must be fucking evil or something!! i swear that i am the spawn of satan or an equivalent. hum, maybe too much devil’s advocate [sherry came over again today and since she left early yesterday she decided to finish the movie today… so i basically watched it twice] for mee. *sigh. i think this is the most jealous i’ve ever been in mai life. i dunno i don’t even think it is really jealousy because even if i HAD met them, it would be kewl, but not anything that would be life-altering [i think?]. i think it is more like regret… like… that could have and SHOULD have been mine too but since i am cursed and doomed, it’s not. urgh. speaking of mee and mai doomed self, i was supposed to go with sherry to berkeley tomorrow, but once again i do not have the car [i barely ever do], so i guess i will be staying @ home… possibly.
anyways mee and sherry were going to play tennis today but we got lajee and ditched fil, joanna, and tin-win @ the park. eeeheehee. i bet they had fun [flying a kite], tho. instead mee, sherry, and jeanette went to sherry’s house to help jeanette make a collage thing for her mom’s birthday… it was a giant collage she put in a 16″ x 20″ frame. @ first i wasn’t sure if it’d look too good but it turned out quite wonderful actually *clapping for maiself and for jeanette*.
mee : i have concluded that i am going to stop giving a rat’s ass about guys.
all the guys : hurray!
mee : i mean, until i get into college anyways.
all the guys : aww, dammit *grumble grumble.
i don’t want to bother with them right now because it seems like when i don’t have a guy [like now], i want one, but when i do have one, i don’t want one. i guess i just want the type of guy who i don’t have to call all the time and who would call mee [ahaha -_-;] and the kind that could do just dandy going weeks without seeing mee. i guess. maybe that is just because i haven’t met anyone i REALLY like yet… perhaps if i did, i would be clingy as hell. people always ask mee what kinda guys i like. yoo kno, i’m not even sure. but the only thing i do kno is that i like independent, funnie, unique guys. and the christian bit seems to be nice. it’s not the religion bit that is important to mee - it just seems that christian guys are… nicer. iono. stereotyping… -_-;;
and another thing i don’t understand… when yoo are just DATING someone, that means no commitment, right? and when yoo do want commitment, the person turns into your boifrend or girlfrend? then what is the point of dating one person exclusively? isn’t that commitment too? then why not just make that person yur boifrend or girlfrend? I DUN GET IT -_- someone please explain. if yoo can. i am relationship-deprived… thank god.