glass ceiling.
i’m listening to… fiya’s better days album… some punky bleh blah bleh, and funeral for a friend’s hours album.
12:43 pm
i went to sleep last night in a really strange state of mind, i guess, because every time i closed my eyes and thought about anything, i’d have twisted visions of death and dying… well not actual dying, but events leading up to immediate death. i tried to think about food, and it resulted in a vision of a mom asking her daughter if she wanted biscuits that were actually poisoned. tried thinking of pretty eyes, and it ended up being someone gouging someone’s eye out. there was more fucked up sutff, but i hardly recall it now.
it was the most disturbing pre-cursor to sleep ever. i had to turn on my computer to drown out my own thoughts with music, but my computer sounded like a fucking lawnmower or something. it’s usually pretty loud, but this time, it was… unbelievably loud. maybe the silence of the night exacerbated it. who knows. but it was horrible. thank god daphne loves derby helped me sleep… that is, until trask called me and i decided i could turn off the music and sleep… but then the cycle started again, although diminished. :[