inside the wonderful world of vee

every time i’m down i find that i contemplate life so much more deeply. being comfortable never created much for anybody, i don’t think. the best art and the best writing comes out of tortured souls…….. why is that?

last week at sohaila’s art show, her new stuff was probably her best stuff that i have seen. it was fucking spectacular and very different from her previous things that i’ve seen. blew the other shit at that show right out of the water. and she’s going through a rough time too, and it’s as though channeling those negative energies always turns into something nicer. maybe in our self-loathing, we find more time for extracurricular activities?!!!

i haven’t turned much to art of any sort for a while now. i’ve found it to be rather frustrating since i’ve been out of school for it, to try and find time for making it. even in the simplest of daily ways, it has been hard to find a second or two to slow down and chill out and just draw some useless shit. but i’m making time these days. partially inspired by talking to so many artists recently and partially inspired by the fact that i have a blank sketchbook sitting around and partially inspired by the fact that these days i just need to focus my mind elsewhere.

and i will keep it all. even if it’s ugly or not fully realized, i’d might as well keep it, cause why not. it might be embarrassing later, but it’s always good to have an idea of where you came from. i find that when i read my old journal entries from 2001 or whatever, they are so embarrassing i can barely stand to read them. but then… without having had an idea of where i really was at that time, i’d never be able to understand how much i’ve changed and how far i’ve come. in my mind’s eye, outside of writing, i’ve probably been about the same person, although with shifted interests. in actuality, i am a fuckload happier now. like… seriously, a fuckload. and that’s a lot reading the old stuff makes me think, ’shit! i was depressed 24/7 or some shit. how did people put up with me?!!!!!!!!!!!’

funny, though, cause old, depressing times are when i wrote the best poetry and prose. i can’t really write a lick that’s worth anything now, unless i’m in one of those self-loathing states of mind. D:

but anyway.

for now, the goal is to change the mold and desire to create, create, create, even in the face of being tolerant of life. wish me luck.

Esta entrada fue publicada el Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 5:55 am y está clasificada en la categoria 2008, arts. Puede hacer un seguimiento de los comentarios de esta entrada gracias al feed RSS 2.0. Puede dejar un comentario, o hacer un trackback desde su sitio web.