elloj.
after all freakin night last night (this morning), my brain completely feels like jello. more details to come later.
(now that it is later… to be accurate, it is now december 31st, 2007 hahahaa), here are the movies from all freakin’ night:
THE BLOB
AMAZING — “The original Blob has been considered a classic somewhat in spite of itself. This seems to be due mainly to the camp value of a 28-year-old Steve McQueen awkwardly struggling at portraying a rebellious teen who tries to warn the inhabitants of his small town about the potential danger of a mysterious substance which has oozed out of a fallen meteorite and begun to claim lives. The promising set-up leads to an absolute lack of suspense as a colored weather balloon slowly rolls its way through town. Despite the awesome premise of a shapeless terror which consumes anything in its path, the film failed to turn the concept into anything exciting. Luckily, someone recognized the potential carnage such a monster could unleash and knew the time was right for the Blob to make its return! This Blob has action, amazing practical effects from the glory days of the art, and lots of gory deaths. It strikes that perfect balance between action-adventure and horror which only the 80’s could produce. Beware! The Blob!”
WEREWOLF VS. VAMPIRE WOMAN
CRAP — “Paul Naschy, the king of Spanish horror, made his first undeniable masterpiece with this tale of cursed count Waldemar Daninsky. While not the first film in which Naschy (who is also known as the Spanish Lon Chaney) portrayed this sympathetic wolf man, this is the picture which established the template for dozens of subsequent productions, each mimicing the gothic brooding and tragic romanticism of this first teaming of Naschy and his greatest collaborator, director Leon Klimovsky. Two beautiful young girls take up residence with Naschy’s Daninsky while researching the legend of the evil Countess Wandessa. When they accidentally release the long-dormant vampiress from her tomb, the stage is set for an epic battle between this ancient evil and the noble but cursed Daninsky. Light on plot, heavy on atmosphere, and with a healthy dose of sleaze, this is a shining example of true Euro-horror.”
THE HORRIBLE DR. HITCHCOCK
ALRIGHT, I LIKED IT OKAY BUT EVERYONE ELSE HATED IT — “Two years after Mario Bava blew the doors off Italian horror cinema by directing her in his hugely influential Black Sunday and having cemented her reputation as one of the all-time great scream queens in Roger Corman’s The Pit and the Pendulum, Barbara Steele again steps into the spotlight as the haunted and haunting Cynthia Hichcock. Cynthia, newly married to the titular mad Doctor, is unaware of the lurid circumstances surrounding the death of her husband’s first wife. Dr. Bernard Hichcock, a renowned surgeon, indulges his bizarre appetites by aenesthetizing his lovers with a dangerous experimental serum before having sex with them. Having accidentally injected his first wife with a lethal overdose, he now wrestles with his frustrated passions while trying to sustain his relationship with Cynthia. As the newlyweds return to the doctor’s home she begins to experience mysterious and unnerving occurrences causing her to question the fate of the Doctor’s first wife and whether the woman may yet be alive. A contemporary and collaborator of Bava, director Riccardo Freda’s unique style of Italian horror merges a poetic gothic sensibility with ghoulish perversion descending into the depths of madness, murder, and necrophilia.”
FRIGHT NIGHT
UNIFORMLY AMAZING, PROBABLY NECK TO NECK WITH THE BLOB THIS EVENING — “Is this the best vampire movie of the 1980’s? The back of the novelization by Craig Spector and John Skipp states the case: “Charley Brewster is a horror movie fan, a kid with an active imagination. So when he begins telling people that his new next-door neighbor is a vampire, no one believes him. Not the police, not his girlfriend Amy, not even the school weirdo, Evil Ed. But Charley’s seen the coffin and the bodies drained of blood, and knows he will be the vampire’s next victim. Charley’s last chance is to enlist the help of Peter Vincent, Vampire Killer. But Vincent, star of a hundred horror movies and host of TV’s Fright Night, doesn’t believe in vampires, either. Until Evil Ed becomes one and tries to kill him. Until Amy disappears into the vampire’s house. Until a has-been actor and a frightened teenager must face the greatest evil they have ever known!” The movie is scary, funny, and fully enjoyable. What else could you possibly need?”
THE SCHOOL THAT COULDN’T SCREAM / WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SOLANGE?
SOMEWHAT INTERESTING TOWARDS THE END BUT I WAS TOO SLEEPY! LOTS AND LOTS OF FUCKING NUDITY AND WEIRD ABORTION SCENE — “Better known under the title What Have They Done To Solange? this film takes the writings of prolific crime author Edgar Wallace into the territory of the Italian giallo. The first entry in director Massimo Dallamano’s unofficial trilogy of schoolgirls-in-peril, the film stars Camille Keaton, grand-neice of Buster Keaton and star of the infamous I Spit On Your Grave, and genre stalwart Fabio Testi. Testi, a teacher at a Catholic girl’s school, is having an affair with a student who witnesses a murder. Her claims are met with suspicion until more victims begin to pile up, all seemingly connected to another girl, the mysterious Solange. Testi embarks on his own investigation which quickly spirals into a fever dream of delirium and paranoia punctuated by one of composer Ennio Morricone’s distinctive scores. Embracing all the distinguishing traits of giallo films, The School That Couldn’t Scream rises above the standard fare with a solid murder mystery foundation, complex and moving characters, and beautiful cinematography, resulting in a glorious triumph of horror filmmaking.”
November 12th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
poop flavored jello