crajee snowboarders.
* song of the moment * — “i don’t wanna go on” bai innerlude [r&b]
* mood * — huk… again
11:01 pm — i was awoken this morning bai richard, who needed to use mee for carpool again. that mofo… mee and mai spine of jelly… huk… i went back to sleep for an hour, and then woke up in time for class but then just sat around and decided not to go to class. god, what the fuck am i doing with mai life? i have no idea… -__-;; anyways at around 1:30-ish jina picked mee up and we drove two hours to steven’s pass to go snowboarding… which was good. hella good snow… altho mai left butt cheek hella hurts now. i swear to god i ONLY fall on mai left butt cheek. fucking sucks. oh and fuck caitlin jes told mee i missed a quiz in chinese today. fucking sucks. i’m fucking retarde. -__-; anyways. mee and jina forgot to bring goggles and it was snowing hella hard so our faces are all red and wind-burned from the friggin snow. -__-; but i improved a lot. i guess that was good. but it wasn’t really stress-relieving like i had hoped. it would have been but then i got reminded of things and so yeah… not stress-relieving any longer… hOohOo. ahpoo… i need to go dancing… -__-;
i don’t kno how people can deal with mee… i have major problems… -__-; these couple of days it seems like nothing or no one really makes mee happy. i laugh, and stuff, but when it comes down to it i still feel like shit. there isn’t a real reason, really… i just don’t feel in place anywhere or with anyone. i miss mai cali people… i honestly do. at least in cali i kno who to trust and i kno who actually gives a fuk. here… i have a bajillion acquaintances but so what… i don’t really feel like i fit in anywhere. huk… i dunno… life sucks. forrealz. i dun tell people this shit because i don’t want them to invite mee along because they feel sorry for mee. despite good intentions, i still don’t feel right… man… i’m fucked up. i make too many mistakes… and i think i need to take more risks for things… but i am actually worried about what people think of mee. i don’t care if they don’t like how i dress or whatevers… but i do care if they think i’m annoying or psycho or something… i dunno. it’s hard for mee to make the effort to get to kno people better, i guess. sometimes i try but it usually doesn’t work unless they are the type to invite mee along to do stuff… man… i dunno what to think, really. peace outside.