inside the wonderful world of vee

i’m listening to… the weakerthans, “a whole new world” rofls, theory of a deadman, tom cochrane, tom jones & the cardigans, trace adkins, van halen, minus the bear, kanye west, aerosmith, aaron lines, led zeppelin that some douche labeled as aerosmith those fuckers.

4:04 am - it’s 4:04 — why am i awake!!
i took an involuntary nap from 9 - 12. whenever i sleep early, i always wake up halfway through the night with the inability to fall back asleep. every time. i don’t know why i even try anymore. or maybe i don’t really try. i always used to do this too - take a nap at like 11 for an hour, get up at midnight, and then do what i do… it’s odd, and it only happens when i’m at home. don’t know why, really. i’m nocturnal. jea.

so call me a gullible tool, but i searched this site extensively and i’ve decided to buy a pair of the regular rings: http://www.alexchiu.com. i really think there are way too many testimonials to make it seem fake… but /shrug, maybe he’s not posting the REJECTS. i wouldn’t doubt it. he IS chinese after all A HA HA HA.

so i am officially hitched. k, not really. but i have a boyfriend now. ah ha ha ha. i would not have thunkit like this really. his name is lenny. most of you probably know of him at least. it took me a while to decide that i was ready to commit to anything… i’ve always had the mentality that maybe something else better will come along and since i haven’t dated much, who knows, right? that’s why i didn’t want a real relationship but after getting intimate with him or whatever, i’ve met people that i have been interested in, but i haven’t found anyone better.

one of them was awesome up until i found out he was a liar and a fake and he’s good at saying the right things only because he thinks them through too much. the other is cute as hell but just talks too much about things that are boring. anyway. i think it’s been long enough, i think, and it’s about time. even though he has pissed me off. a lot. but it’s alright. men are at their core douches, am i right? HAW HAW just kidding. sorta! but i’m sure i can whip him into shape. i know it!! HAW. anyways, looking back on the official dates of when problems were generally rare and feelings were generally happy, the official relationship begin date is at august 8th, when we went to portland with arlen and farm[ula/ing].

josh is on his way to kuwait i think. THAT FUCKER. he better fucking take care of his raunchy ass. he better fucking err. down krew’s #1 chump. no dizzle.

this past weekend we had a little shindig at our new place on 7th ave in apartment 409. it was mostly good, a lotta people, too many videogames, and cleared out a little too fast for my liking. i don’t dig the videogames at parties, but i have no authority.

that day before the party alex and i went 409 and pledge-wipe on the apartment and owned all of the disease-causing mold. HOORAHS FOR US.

i’m going to try writing in here again. when i have the time. wish i hadn’t stopped writing from august 16th to septembr 28th. i wonder what those days held. i’m obsessed with chrologizinizing (not a word) time. it’s strange. but i am obsessed with memories and thoughts. maybe i just like hearing myself talk too much. or maybe i just don’t want to forget more than i already do…

lenny’s helping me piece together the missing days. cause his memory is freakishly good for some things…

[08/20] at some point, zach came up from portland and stayed a few days. i must admit, it was a little weird. the guy doesn’t talk much. this would be mommy’s birthday, and phil and i were gonna buy flowers but agreed it’d be better if he just bought them and walked over there and delivered them to her. save money and it’d be more personal too. saw better than ezra on this day. they were decent, some weird show at some weird park in bellevue. mostly families. we were probably the only “teenagers” (although not really) there. MORE LATER. —>

[08/21] ate weed brownie’s @ jesse’s place. they didn’t work very well cause him and karam got their strainer taken away by roger who moved, and so the motherfuckers messed up. ;[ waste of $10. speaking of, jesse, that motherfucker, owes me money. whatever. very very lame high.

i’m thinking being a teacher would be cool. starting monday i’m volunteering with this lady at a public school downtown for being a helper for kindergarteners in literacy. wewtz0r. english for the win.

can’t wait to get back to seattle. oh yeah, i’ve been at home in cali for the last week or so. umm… i’ve been having some annoying eye problems and so my parentals wanted me to come home to relax. grandpa’s here too because him and mom are going to china. i never have anything to talk to him about really, unfortunately… sigh grandpa is so good!

my eye problems have been something like nystagmus. i don’t know, though, because only one nurse has said that and everyone else has been completely clueless and unhelpful. i’ve gone to four doctors and one emergency room visit. the first doctor was a primary care physician and didn’t know shit. he said my feeling of lying down and having a warm sensation come from my ear was probably due to earwax buildup. and flushed my ears. in a painful way with a stupid water hose device. and the shit didn’t help, as i could have told the motherfucker. and it cost me a hundred bucks, that douchebag. god i swear to god i hate doctors. i’ll killem all! no but seriously, if you have a problem, research the shit out of it first so that you can tell them you think it’s something because you know your symptoms better than you can ever describe. and doctors don’t listen to lengthy lists and they always form opinions way too quick. it’s no good. one of my doctors even said after seeing me once, “i have no idea. see another doctor.” this was after i got an mri which proved negative to tumors and sinusitis. and it’s going to burn a hole into our fucking pockets. fuck.

one thing though — nystagmus can be brought on by drug use, and i do think that’s what it was. after doing 2ci — which was fucking rad btw — i could make myself hallucinate. jesse’s done it, and he can do it too. all i can say is, i love the drugs, but i think i’m done. really. cept for maybe weed. but i don’t even really care for it, so that’s no prob. i also think perhaps it is attributed to when me and sherry and other ppl took a 30 minute boat ride back from an island in italy and we kept our face over the side of the boat the entire time. WHAT THE FUCK WERE WE THINKING? okay, i take it back. THAT was probably the winner. i think my tear ducts are fucked. and then there’s the unstoppable crying…

last time — probably about a week ago — lenny went with me to the emergency room because it felt like me eyes were gonna bulge out of my head or something. think i had a panic attack there. i was seeing weird shit, weird flashes, feeling all nervous and jittery… BLEH, weird. maybe i’m way stressed out and i just don’t know it… i DO know i’m tense all the time, so maybe i should start meditating. i swear i should but sometimes meditation makes me feel weird — maybe because i don’t know how to do it properly.

anyway, copy and pasted from xanga…
so alex has gotten into this thing within the past ohhh four months or something where if he feels sick, he buys an emer’gen’c and takes it. for those who don’t know, it’s a water-soluble mix of vitamins. put it in a bottle of water and you’ve got yourself a health-sickness-combatant. well, in the wake of my eye problems and hearing from my parents that perhaps it’s a vitamin deficiency, i’ve started taking emer’gen’c’s. and that, combined with centrum and what not, has helped my eyes immensely. maybe it’s just a coincidence. i don’t know. but i don’t care. it seems like it has been working now our whole apartment (well, 6 out of 7 people) take it. GOOD JOB ALEX. STARTING A REVOLUTION IN 409. alex and arlen have also devised a giant fda cover-up conspiracy theory. vitamins are not fda approved. none are. why? pharmaceutical companies comprise such a huge portion of the u.s. economy that without them — say, if vitamins really could cure every disease like somepeople believe — the economy would hurt even more. OH SORRY I GUESS ARLEN AND FARM DEVISED IT, NOT ARLEN AND ALEX! who knows. makes sense to me. it DEFINITELY is suspicious that the fda never have done tests on vitamins, though. it seems in the natural scheme of things, doesn’t it? been getting a lot of awesome chinese meals because people keep treating grandpa to them as a courtesy thing… so eating is good.

and i’ve been reading a lot — there’s way too much reading material around here. we got united mileage points that were allotted for free magazines, so i have like a fatty stack of them — all over the board, from blender to wired to seventeen. GOOD SHIT. i like it. and my brother always buys shitloads of books and tosses them, so i’ve been reading them. too bad they’re all similar types of books. after reading “the client” by john grisham — the 600 words in 2 days — i started another similar murder-mystery type thing and got bored in about two seconds. i need something a little different to sandwich between it. there’s the “left behind” series of biblical rapture stories, but that’s a no thanks on many levels. cause the shit scares me and cause … no thanks.

i swear to god dude. TRAPT is such a shitty damn godamn band. what the hell.

there’s freak night again this year. THE FUCKING LIARS. they said last year was the last one. LIARS. i wanna be a tetris piece this year. KEKEKKEE.

i also signed up for mfa… it’s a political awareness organization that you can volunteer for. i signed up with the hopes that if i help them out, i can get tickets to the sold-out death cab for cutie show. fingers crossed.

also got a $600 freelance webdesign offer for an freelance writer. wish i would have charged more, though, cause it seems like it might be more work than i initially thought…

i’m not in too much of a rush to find a real job. i’m such a bum. still working part time. i just am rich in the bank account though, so i don’t really feel a need to look too hard. but i should… i don’t know, from now until the end of the year the money should be rolling in pretty OK. definitely enough for survival. i still am owed $50 by chris, $100 by eric, $100 more from a website revamp i did, a $1,000 mini-magazine/catalog design thing on nutrition, the $600 webdesign thing, my part time anti-tobacco job should bring in about $300 a month… i’ve $2,000 from working for a week and a half @ a job tim got me coding css for some design interactive firm. those motherfuckers. didn’t even let me go with a goodbye rofl. but luckily for me, i have a book of one of the co-workers jim (okay, he was cool, so i should give it back) and an illustrator and indesign book. not like they’re going to use em… :0 anyway, BASICALLY I THINK I CAN LIVE WITHOUT SELLING OUT TO THE MAN JUST YET. i’m just banking on the magazine doing a lot better, really fast, because the last issue got so fast so quickly that i think it’s possible again… but it needs time, and i need the time, and TIME. AND TIME.

“HELP MEH! HELP MEH PLEASE!”
i think i’m satisfied. i THINK i know what i’m doing “give me a high-five!!!” god, the wayans bros. was fucking GENIUS. corny, in retrospect, but still, genius!! GENEEIUAASS.

i do know, that for as long as i’m feeling good, though, i’m going to explore. and live as it should be lived… andy [crossett] is bored of being holed up in our apartment because people don’t care about going out that much. i agree. it’s time to learn and live and explore and find something to do. it’s always better with a buddy. so we’re going to stop cooping ourselves up in our apartment and start harrassing bitches.

i’m listening to… nothing.
i’m feeling… …

12:08 am — i tire or writing these fucking things… but i’ll do it anyway…

went questing today with mike, cynthia, alex, and andy. it was fun. we went to the uw arboreteum. there was like this part that was a cut off end of a highway - started being made, but never was completed because the government changed their mind. now there are just some woods with stagnant pools of water and parks nearby. you can also jump off this piece of highway and into a disgusting pond below (where we row canoes from the UW WAC and stuff).

walked around. some things:
- decided that i want to turn this giant, unused piece of highway into a giant graffiti wall when i have the money. if i ever have the money, that is.
- the bridge ledges were fucking covered with bird shit that had crusted over so much that it looked like it was part of the concrete - but upon closer inspection, one could see that it was really bird shit. indeed.
- some guy had a tent pitched between the highway and the park, in this little patch of wood. awesome. i want to join.
- found this dead, rotting, plucked out, dry piece of fish (catfish?) that was black and withered and smelled foul. it was fantastic looking, though, and still attached to a fishing hook. yummy. later we found alex found these leftover pieces of bird wing, with the bones between both wings still there, so that it was just two wings hooked together by a little network of bones. we decided to combine dead fish with dead bird, and got a flying fish.
- found a lot of disgusting condoms all over the place. there was this piece of highway with little ridges underneath, and room for you to stand up sort of… like a little network of caves or something. anyway, lots of condoms. bottles of jungle juice. and umm purely disgusting. people must really like to go there to do it or something.
- lots of stagnant pools of water = lots of mosquitos. got crazy amounts of bug bites. hey’re in absurdly spaced areas. it’s like the left and right part of my body are symmetrical to each other. i have a big bite in the middle of my back, between my shoulder blades. then one on each shoulder blade. then one on the back of each arm. it’s absurd. but amusing.

we left early from the park, cause unfortunately, mike was hungry and disturbed by the bugs =( tragic.

we will have to return to the arboreteum.

afterwards, went to this dessert auction thing for farm with a bunc of other people. it was alright. the church was super cool - they have really awesome programs. i’m not for the church - in fact i’m against it - but i can support a church like that in some regard, simply because they seem like really nice people who are genuinely interested in what they are doing for the community. and that is a good thing. passion is a good thing in general. so it’s all good. lots of dessert too. but too much dessert makes sick people.

afterwards, went to brian [pearl] & eric’s apartment or whatever… people ask that question so freaking often, since i only drink about twice a month. they’re always like, “why do you hang out when you’re not drunk? aren’t you bored?” no… i don’t feel the need to be constantly inebriated. once upon a time, i thought doing drugs would make me cooler… more social or whatever… but i don’t need that shit now… i am plenty amused when there are other drunk people and i am the only sober one. and since there should be a dd, it’s cool… i can be it, cause i don’t really give a fuck. it’s a good thing to have, and i’m not missing anything. not that being drunk once in a while isn’t cool, but i don’t need it every weekend.

yeah.

afterwards, went to cynthia’s and there was beating of contra in 20 minutes with lewis and lots of drunknness. and happy times. and i don’t feel like writing anymore. so i’ll write about today now, so that i don’t have to think about yesterday.

there was a huge power outage in my whole apartment complex today. we’re talking eight buildings, with hundreds in each building, all out of electricity. hence, boredom. the first thing we do is eat at a fast food restaurant. and when that is an exhausted form of entertainment, we happened to gather together at someone else’s apartment. probably like twelve people there, playing poker by candlelight. but as SOON as the electricity comes on, not a minute later, everyone is out the door, running home. WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE THE INTERNET!? - and this is today, copy and pasted from my xanga, which half of this was, because i’m fucking lazy. so peace.

* song of the moment * - “stay with mee” bai coco lee… yeah, i’ve been too lajee to change the cd today and yesterday, so i’ve been listening to coco songs repeatedly.
* mood * - pretty good. wow, two daze in a row. we’re on a roll.

today was a pretty eventful day… like ohmahgaw! o.O i’ve been sayin that a lot recently. i kno, i’m weird.

had to go volunteer afterskool… at kaleidoscope. it’s a place where yoo work with mentally-handicapped children… it’s pretty kewl, i guess. i feel kind of out of place because i haven’t been there for forever like the other people, but iss koo… i also feel bad cuz dahye wanted to go to the mall and so i had to lie (saying i needed to run errands for mai parents) and leave early. i feel kinda bad, cuz this was only mai second week there -_- na neun bad.

anyways… at the mall dahye bought a buncha shiet… i bought virtually nothin but candy and a thing for fil (nothin big tho… but iss funnie… wahaha! ^_^) man! today was the day i said i would eat no candy and show self-control, but i ate the MOST candy today. oh, the irony. but i won’t eat candy tomorrow. i promise. i’m gettin fat and unhealthy, not to mention i need to get mai teeth cleaned soon [no cavities, no cavities, no cavities!!]

yeah, so, at the mall we visited a whole buncha people… jah and ken @ gap, filz @ the cell phone place, and dOm @ rags… it was pretty kewl i guess, altho jah was strangely hyper then insanely depressed, ken… well, he nothing… filz was boring cuz he supposedly jes woke up, and dOm seemed too kewl to talk to us… nah, not exactly that. =P

then i came home and ate. and now i’m doing nothing, since i have no homework today. at least no homework that i am actually going to DO. wahahaha. wellz, take care… yoo wonderful people who actually take the tym to read mai incessant blabbing about virtually nothing.

* SONG OF THE MOMENT * - ‘relections’ bai mulan… hahahahah.
* MOOD * - good

well, tym to tell yoo about mai day!

in the morning, i had to wake up @ 7:30 to go to claire’s house where she drove mee to a senior center where we would be volunteering. we were volunteering with a rotary club (odd name, but it is a club that does charity work in certain communites). from like 10:00 to 1:00, we were cleaning old people’s houses… i washed windows, raked, and vacuumed. god, i’m such the dork. i find all those things fun. what a nerd i am huh??? i find fun in raking leaves. yes, so anyone who marries mee can like make mee do all the work and i probably wouldn’t even care -_- but anyways, i was in a group with these two other (old) guys… they were pretty koo tho. they found it sooooo amazing that i could speak mandarin, english, spanish, and some japanese… they were soooo amazed… it was funnie. haha. oh yeah! one of the houses had this eighty-seven year old lady but she was sooooooo with it and soooooo un-old seeming. it was so amazing. i really hope that i am that healthy when i’m that old…

anyways, @ like 1:10 i went to claire’s house and she called her frend eugene… and while i was waiting for claire to shower and for eugene to drive down (from alamo), i went to play pump it up… it was exciting. whoahoooo! actually, it wasn’t all that fun. i don’t like pump. i like ddr. but i am getting the novasonic 2 cd now because i liked it from playing pump it up. i also wanna find out something about BANYA, which is a group / person that only does instrumental music… it is soooo good tho. most of it is techno, but they have other stuff too. if anyone knows about banya, hit mee up.

well when eugene got there we sat around for a while (while he marveled at the fact that claire’s brother has every video game system imagineable, even the nu playstation 2’s) and then decided to go bowling… bai the tym we got to the bowling alley it was about 3, and this lady @ the counter was totally ignoring us for like… a while. and we were jes like… doing all this goofy stuff to try to hint at her… we even said like “god, are we invisible or something?” and she still kept yakkin away. talk about service. after one game (in which i lost, as usual) - we went to eat ice cream… we were gonna play another game, but the line was huuuuuge. dood, yoo can easily jack bowling shoes. not that yoo would want to, but if yoo went bowling a lot, yoo’d save a couple bucks.

so yea… then i went home and found out mai parents bought mee one of the nu nokia 8260 cuz mai other phone broke (someone dropped it and it no longer rings ^^;)… it was okay but it is such a pain to change the faceplate… yoo have to take out the battery and unscrew stuff. maybe i’ll jes stay with the case i have… i do want a different colored interior light tho (instead of green… cuz mai case is red) and i also want a green case, but the red is pretty kewl, and the interior light is like two hundred bucks. ugh. that sentence was horrible.

fil and his family came over for dinner… it was “ma-la huo guo”… translation? “really spicy hot pot”. dood, it was sooooo spicy. mai grandma made these spicy ass niu ro mian (beef noodles), and this ma-la stuff was hotter… PLUS i already don’t like hot pot, so i barely ate anything, and well… let’s jes say i dun feel so good… and after i eat really spicy and take a shower, like… mai mouth BURNS cuz i’m hot… o.O it’s weird. and today mai left eyelid burned too. i dunno wassup with that.

oh. yeah. and i have concluded mai biggest fears in the world:
1) getting poked really hard in the eye. don’t ask mee why. i think it is because i have poked so many people in the eye in mai lifetime.
2) TAILGATING!!!!!!!! and rear-ending people too. haha. anyways, eugene drove mee CRAZY today cuz he stopped like a centimeter away from the car in front of us… and it would be such a shame to see a lurvely subaru crashed!!! anyways, i think he thought i was pretty koo @ first, but on the way home from the bowling alley i was being hella spastic about him stopping so close to the car in front of us that i think i sort of scared him… hahahah.
3) heights, but that’s no big deal cuz that’s conquerable.