inside the wonderful world of vee

i’m watching the travel china. it’s china week. china is a fucking fascinating place, so this is GREAT. i <3 china week. i also love love love monkeys. most people know this. this monkey, shown on the travel channel’s “wild america,” is one freaky ass bitch. sorry monkey. you just are.

(yunnan snub-nosed monkey. that’s right. he has no fucking nose.)

speaking of monkeys… random story:
jenny, my ex-co-worker… her husband and his friends had a monkey!!! four of them had one. before the monkey, it was two people each in two rooms. after the monkey, it was monkey in one room and four people in the other room. AWESOME.

this show is blowing my mind, and here are some of the reasons why:
1) bamboo can grow up to three feet a day. WTF.
2) every, oh i don’t know, million years or so a bamboo jungle will flower, and when they flower, that entire forest will die. WTF.
3) there are crabs in the forest. WTF.
4) chinese villagers use a dead grasshopper on a stick to lure a hornet, and then tie a feather to the hornet, and then the villagers follow the hornet to its nest, and then they burn the nest and eat the dead grubs. WTF.
5) chinese fishermen use birds (i think herrings) to fish for them, by tying a loose noose around the birds’ necks so that the fish can’t swallow, and then remove the fish the birds have caught from the birds’ mouthes. WTF.

in other random news… GOJI BERRY?
you know that new fad that is “goji berry”?!!!!!!!!!!! i have just come to the realization that goji berry is GO JI ZI. HOLY SHITE. GROSS.

the topic of maury for today: “i was in a coma! i can’t be your baby’s daddy!”

i have been working on this magazine for umm, the past, 10? hours… pretty much non-stop. but i’m glad to say it’s finally fucking done… after mmm, being late three days… watching like 12 “leave it to beaver” episodes tonight on netflix… i don’t think i’ve seen “leave it to beaver” before but i am such a fucking fan now. it’s dope sauce.

anyway. oh man. i am so looking forward to relaxing today. but we’ll see how that goes. i just need to wait another 10 minutes before i can finally go to bed (when the stupid ftp crap finishes uploading my files). i think i’m a little crazy and am not sure that this sacrifice of time is really worth it. oh well. we’ll see.

X______X work will be death today, no doubt.

on a related note — that is, only related because i am greatly looking forward to bed — my bed keeps fucking breaking. you know those wooden slats you can buy from ikea? yeah, um, not good. i need a fucking box spring and a metal bed frame or something cause this is NOT working. the slats keep fucking breaking! i now even have TWO layers of slats and… depending on how you’re laying on the bed… it fails or works. how annoying. (the key is to not lean too much to one side or another.)

60% of upload……………… zomg. guess it will be more like 20 minutes. poor laptop. it’s probably dying. sorry laptop. it’s like… “just… want… to… sleep…”

strangely i am awake for the time being

in all legitimacy, i’m not sure how stoked i really am on the next issue… meh. if this past issue — that is, the spring 2008 one — doesn’t sell well………………. i’m not sure that i can keep on doing this lol. it’s so much fucking work. that came to me as kind of an epiphany last night as i was working on the magazine… it’s a fairly obvious epiphany to anyone looking on the outside perhaps but man, if i didn’t do the magazine life would be simultaneously so much better and so much worse. i’m just wondering which one is better and which one is worse… which side wins?!! seriously though i wish i knew how to make it work cause i really think redefine well… redefines. maybe people don’t want that. maybe they do. i dunno.

75%.

it’s nice (not really) being awake as you: 1) see the sun come up; 2) hear the birds chirping — rather short-lived, honestly; 3) hear your roommate waking up to go to work; 4) hear your roommate leaving for work. oh yes.

how come ROBINS are the like, only fucking birds you see in backyards? there are a few others but for the most part… robins rule fucking suburban housing. why is that. it’s WEIRD.

83%.

at my first rave ever, freak night 5 or whatever, eighty years ago… some guy gave me a gengar (yes, from pokemon) toy. if you flip a switch in gengar’s back, his eyes light up. i still have it. and will probably keep it for life. i must say… it is one of my favorite things… even if i don’t tell it that enough. next to my gengar is a… power puff girl lifted from a cake… and a skeleton pirate that sherry gave me in a set of 3 (the other two were not skeletons).

90%.

gotta kill time somehow, right? the chuck palahniuk book, “choke,” my favorite of his and one of my favorites, period, has been made into a movie. movie is playing at siff. movie i will be watching on saturday. i have no real great expectations for it. i doubt if it’ll be better than the book just based on the screenshots. but we’ll see! i have to watch a whole bunch of other movies… i had two tickets for yesterday and later today (probably going to skip)… but will have to make use of it before it ends in two weeks, fo sho. they gave press people 20 comped tickets straight up this year. fucking rawks. i’ve only seen one movie so far in the theatre, though… some norweigan film called the “art of negative thinking”. it was weird and entertaining. did you know that the norweigan word for fuck is FUCK?

upload’s done.

dammit i have to post about this because no one else is.

american idol had their “charity” portion last night, and they closed it out with “shout to the lord.” WHAT THE FUCK. i find it hard to believe that all of the people currently on that show are christian. and if they are not all christian, why would they be okay with this?

not only that but PEOPLE are okay with it. i was looking on the internet to see if there was any controversy about it, and most of the comments are more along the lines of, “WOW THAT WAS SURPRISING, BUT GREAT! JESUS IS LOVE! I LOVE GOD! GOD GOD GOD! PRAISE THE LORD!”

you are all fucking idiots.

some quotes…

THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING INSANE.

i knew about the whole justin timberlake and janet jackson superbowl boobie mishap, and i had seen photos of it or whatever, but i’d never really thought about what it was on her boobie. i thought it was something like what lil kim had on her outfit here:

in reality, what was on her boobie was nothing like what lil kim had!!! it is a fucking nipple shield. i had never heard of these until today :0 :0 i stumbled upon it today while randomly surfing the web, and all i have to say is, wtf! i guess it’s kind of cool though, i guess.

anyway, rachel wanted to get her nose pierced the other day, and she mentioned it to me. then i thought, hell, i’ve always wanted to get my lip pierced, so why not get it now? so i did.

alex came with us, and er, i’ve had this dragonfruit drink in my car for like……………………… 80 years. and by 80 years i mean at least 2 months. it tasted like shit. made in thailand, imported to mexico, sold in the united states. HAHAHAHAHA. so i’ve had dragonfruit before and i don’t much like it, but it’s tolerable. this one, as alex described, tasted like ONIONS. and it was like eating FOOD, not drinking a fruit juice. hahaha. i don’t know if it is because i left it in my car for so long or if it actually tasted like shit, though. MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES, INDEED.

i picked up rachel at her apt and she was wearing this sick 80s-inspired getup. according to alex, people on the streets loved her outfit also and did double takes or something. you can’t see her high-top (are they high-top???) nikes in this pic, though. before i got there, she also text-messaged me asking if i wanted “a cup-o-soup” and i was thinking, WTF?? she literally brought a cup of chicken noodle soup and a plastic cup of water into my car. pretty damn good idea but still it was WTF-ish. haha.

the guy at laughing buddha in capitol hill was named luis. he was fucking hilarious. it only came out to $41… WAY cheaper than i thought it was going to be. i expected at least $50. *__* of course, as with all new piercings, it is ugly and silver (BLECH) and huge. i can’t wait to change it out for something smaller. blech. so big. alex and i went to eat a costa’s in u-district (mmmm) after getting the piercing and it was damn good, but eating the lemon rice soup was oh-so-very difficult :0 :0 :0

here’s a photo. closed eyes because the flash is death. *__* and no flash = blurry.

i just watched “queen of the damned” on netflix… you know, the aaliyah vampire movie… last thing she did before she died, practically. it is pretty shitty. but i miss aaliyah. :[

motherfucking BET. every morning when i wake up and can watch BET, i turn that shit on. why, you ask? why would any normal person watch BET, you ask? nope, it isn’t to watch the reverend preach. it is to watch the back-to-back episodes of “wayans brothers” on at 9am — possibly one of my favorite shows ever — and BET music videos at 10am. a fine ass ritual. this is the ritual in where i learned of soulja boy’s glorious “THROW SOME D’S ON IT!” song… pretty much the best music video ever. and he’s really cute. if i were 16…

anyway. guess what BET had to go and do? of course they had to ruin my fucking groove and replace “wayans brothers” with “a different world” (i think) and BET music videos with “malcolm & eddie”… who the fuck wants to watch “malcolm & eddie”?!! i mean, okay, i watched that show when it was on UPN way back when, but the wayans pwn the shit out of that show. maybe they don’t want to keep showing the same reruns. maybe. but dammit, i want my wayans.

whatever happened to black sitcoms anyway? with the death of the WB and UPN came the death of black sitcoms. and that’s just fucking sad. WB and UPN must’ve been assassinated by the government! it’s all a conspiracy to hold down the black man. k, well, i don’t know about all that, but i’m truly sad that black sitcoms are pretty much gone. cause they were freaking spectacular. i’m also sad that BET would do that to me. dammit BET. i gave you two hours of my life many days a week and you had to go and do this. </3.

man, so… everyone has this stereotype of black people and fried chicken. i’d argue that WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T LIKE FRIED CHICKEN?? other than maybe vegetarians. but anyway.

so i go to BET’s website, looking for contact info so i can express my displeasure at the whole music video / “wayans brothers” ordeal. i cannot locate contact info. what i did find, however, is this

what the fuck BET. what the fuck!? way to perpetuate the black stereotype. WTFuzz. have you no shame!!!!!!

lingo did manage to help me find their contact info, though. YAY. THANKS!

snoop dogg’s television show is pretty much the best thing ever. “snoop dogg’s father hood”… amazing. why didn’t i know about this before???????????????????????

so heath ledger is dead. that sucks. it’s sad. why is “inside edition” like, “HERE’S AN EXCLUSIVE LOOK AT THE APARTMENT WHERE HEATH LEDGER DIED!” i mean, really. and then there’s this shot of his coffin being put into a hearse and it’s just surrounded by cameras click click clicking away. get a life, people.

mmm they’re so good at showing tits- i mean news. i particularly like the playboy mansion story, rofls. and the spring break killer. HAHAHAHA. w0w.

“definitely use the buddy system!!!!!!”

[[LINK IS DEAD T__T]]