inside the wonderful world of vee

i’m watching… n/a
i’m feeling… ok.

“it’s been a long time… i shouldn’t have left you… without a dope beat to step to.” mmm this needs updating, and today is the day.

so what’s new? mmm, a lot of things, really. moved to bellevue with lenny and andy [crossett]. it’s not bad. everyone thinks moving in with your bf is such a big deal. i don’t know… oddly enough to me it doesn’t really seem much like anything. it still feels about the same most of the time, lol. but i’m weird.

i’ve been reading andy’s haruki murakami book, “hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world,” and it is amazing thus far. almost done with, so i hope the conclusion is a worthwhile one. definitely one of his better books i’ve read… right up there with “wind-up bird” if you ask me. very fantasmical. i enjoy.

time to recap the month…
august 28th or so — moved into new apartment. moving was a bitch, but at least we got to move in early
august 30th — i got stuck with moving out of our old apartment responsibilities lol. which was all fine and dandy but then i find out when i go there that there is a FUCKLOAD of stuff that needs throwing out aagh! and to my dismay: NO TRASHBAGS. luckily our neighbor who i have met once or twice lent me some trash bags and some awkward small talk also happened awrrghhhashh awkward small talk!! >_< also… plastic bags filled to the max required numerous trips down without plastic bags, since i only got two from them. and oh yeah knives in one of the plastic bags = stabbing mcstabbersons. but asides from that uh, it’s all good?
saturday, september 2nd — bumbershoot’s first day. hmm, what did i see, i barely even remember. oh yes. parked in queen anne cause that’s the best place to park for bumbershoot in my book — cheap / free and close! anyways, we were walking to the venue and two guys stopped lenny and i on the street asking if we knew who panic! at the disco was. from there they went on this rambling ramble about the music scene, with one younger guy (23? i think he was?) saying some shit about how the seattle music scene was changing because there were big hip-hop people like the blue scholars, bah bah bah, and bah bah bah, and his friend who was ten years older (or probably more than that) was arguing something else… it seemed like they weren’t even arguing about the same thing, but nonetheless, they were really into the shit, so whatever floats their freaking boats. yeaup. ended up giving them a copy of my mag and the older guy said he’d e-mail and that he thought it was cool / interesting and that he always wanted to get into writing, but that hasn’t happened yet!

anyway, onto the venue, mmm… started out by going towards the exhibition hall where there was a bitchy staffs person, and started to watch the thermals and was unimpressed, so we left. then we headed over to watch some film festival one reel thing, and that was pretty cool. it was like 8 short films… one was a failed pilot episode of some hbo show called “the pity card,” with zach galfinikas (or whatever) in it… it was really funny… then some thing about how this one type of squid hatches its eggs like stars (rather than burying them in the ground), and then there was this documentary spike lee made about al gore that was never publicized because someone democratic exnayed it, but it was really kind of amusing, and a few others i don’t quite remember so well… .. . hmm! time to consult lenny for a refresher: wallyball, playing volleyball with people at the united states and mexican border (hitting the volleyball over the fence). there was also another one where a guy gave away oranges and asked people if they were anyone’s favorite person, and it showed three different responses… iono.

after that we went to check out the rubber band dance group at some theatre and it was hip-hop mixed with ballet kind of thing. the northwest ballet people SUCKED. the first part of the rubber band dance group was awesome, one really cool thing with music by the rza or some wutang person, and another light-hearted one with very hawaiian-sounding music and lots of footwork (but not a lot of upper-body work), playing on the idea of a girl who bullies around a guy or something. i don’t remember. some really good stuff, though, except the piece they ended with was the lamest. why they did that, i’m not so sure.
monday, september 4th — i obviously don’t remember what happened on the 3rd, lol. on the 4th, went to bumbershoot again… free tickets, i mean, why the fuck not? it was my first time going. i think it’s well worth it, honestly… as long as you’re open to looking at more than just music. the other stuff balances it well, i think. anyways. went with lenny and jennifer [villaruz] — we were supposed to see metric before, so i thought, hey, we should see metric this time and i gave her a free ticket. i also had two extra tickets which i ended up selling (with the help of jenn) for $20 apiece. good shit. now to make up the other $200,000 i’ve lost from magazine printing lol! jk. le sighs. speaking of magazine printing, going to put together a mock glossy copy with low run distro of 30 and try to get distro deal… ingram distributors has expressed interest if they can see it in glossy format. they’re one of the biggest. the implications of that? i’m not so sure.

anyways, went there and saw copeland right away. they were… okay. kind of boring, to be honest. honestly, i don’t think i was expecting much better anyways. they were good for about 1/2 and then it was like, “god this hour is too long.” at least his voice got better. it started off really scratchy and out of pitch and bad. after that, we went went to go see go like hell in the EMP. nice venue; i think they remodeled it or something, cause it didn’t seem so nice when we went to see jimmy eat world there back in like, i dunno, shit, 2002 or something. damn, time flies by fast. anyways, go like hell was okay. their singer chick had an awesome raspy voice, but punk seriously bores me… one guy was wearing no pants and a thong. hot. after that, went to the main stage to see atmosphere. fucking boring, but it was cool how into it the crowd was… they were totally waving their arms in unison and oh yeah, a load of them freaking went there and waited like 3 hours in advance, wtf! so they basically went to bumbershoot to see one thing or something. crazy. hardc0re! extreme! atmosphere’s stuff was okay during the songs with live bands, but the others were whatevers. halfway thru atmosphere’s set, left to go see feist, and she wasn’t bad… talked a lot, though. i don’t really care if people talk… they are, after all, the artist, and they are more than just a robot, but these two chicks there with their husbands were downright livid. they were like, “she talks to much! i don’t want to be here!” one of them wanted to leave feist’s set halfway to go see metric, but her bf was like, “i want to stay here,” and she’s like, “BUT I HAVE NEEDS TO!” lol, it was amusing. anyway, halfway thru feist’s set, we left to see metric, and metric was SO GOOD. it is one of the only shows i’ve been to in seattle where the whole crowd was actually moving and dancing and into it. there was this one raver dude there who was totally full-fledged into it and dancing his ass off, and it was awesome. i think some people were making fun of him and he left, but i’m not entirely sure, actually. or maybe he THOUGHT people were making fun of him and left when they weren’t. shrug. it was fucking awesome, though, even if most of the songs they played were NOT songs i was familiar with, it was easy to get into it. go metric.

oh yes, i should mention that i got cut from my city of kent job. so uberly lame mclamers. basically… dea had told me that i could start full-time whenever i wanted, because sacha went out early. well, obviously, i took on some responsibilities i needed to finish up. she wasn’t supposed to be going out until late october, but instead, she went out the end of august. i was going to start full-time towards the middle of september, since i had planned to go home from september 6th to the 10th and we had decided that really early on when they worked up a schedule and forced me to stick to it, but nOo then the bitch is like, “we need someone full-time now, so peace…” and btw she didn’t say it to my face, arian from big fish told me. fucking lame ass shit, dude. i really think it’s cause vince was pushing to keep me around but then he got a better job and left, so she’s like whuteva, i don’t need to keep her around anymore. biatch. sOo yeah now i am looking for a job again… hoping to get a job @ evogear, so uh hopefully i hear back from them about the second interview soon? :/

le sighs. for now, i am doing some contract bullshit work for microsoft, some freelance crap, and working almost full-time at volt (for this week anyway), so we’ll see. at least i still have money coming in, lol, and big fish owes me 1k plus. so yeah. whuteva. bitches.

i’ve become a clotheshorse lately. how lame. is that what it’s come down to?!!!
tuesday, september 5th — went to a drum n’ bass show with tony [cordova] and yuki and nate [davis] showed up too! yay! good stuff. well, okay, let me rephrase: okay stuff. we went to see pendulum. not the biggest fan, i’ll be honest. couldn’t really get into their beats, but the war room was cool. haha tony and yuki went out to get some beer out of my car, and turns out they missed the end of the set without even knowing it. eediots. and we went to jack in the box afterwards and they were making some loud ass gay jokes in the car and the guy at the window was gay and then i was like sorry for the rowdiness, and he just shook his head. hukkkk. bOoOo so mean. anyways. yes, pendulum was just okay. hopefully aaron simpson & zacharia tag team this friday the 22nd will be much better. i can’t imagine that it wouldn’t. CAN’T WAIT. hopefully no one flakes out on me!

bleh so tired of talking to PR people!
wednesday, september 6th – went home… lenny had to leave work hella freaking early for it, but yeah. the initial trip — aka as soon as i got off the plane — was filled with buttloads of bitching about my clothes, my job, etc. — luckily, that subsided for the rest of the trip. surprisingly, actually. but yeah, went home, went to eat food, cause that’s what we do, and that’s that.
thursday, september 7th — went to sherry’s and hung around her house. didn’t do too much. went home and went to eat at some NASTY ASS FUCKING RESTAURANT. which my parents were raving about. but it was sOoOo not good — nothing had flavor. they soon came around and agreed with me. cause it was gross. man. went to go look @ phil’s cats. or maybe that was thursday, i don’t know. but they had these two little cats, cept now they are kind of full-grown, so it was not as exciting. one of them was like retarded and incapable of eating food, though — every time it ate food, it’d spit it out again and pick it up again and spit it out again (on accident). they feed their cats bread. WTF?
friday, september 8th — drove around the bay area taking photos of sushi restaurants — from oakland to alameda to hayward to san leandro to blah to san ramon… yeah. almost got the hook-up with a family friend’s restaurant of san ramon, but not enough time so that fell through. damnit… need tutorials T__T the number of visitors to sushimonsters has been declining. BAD. VERY BAD. it’s cause i’m the only asshole who works to get traffic. godamnit. anyway, at nighttime, went with dahye to xinlei’s house to play poker. lost ten bucks. shit i think i barely won any hands at all. it was quite pathetic, actually. a couple of xinlei’s friends were there, and she totally lives in the sticks of walnut creek. hella fucking far from the freeway, and she still pays more in rent than us in bellevue! yay! fuck the bay area. i can’t think of a reason to live there (minus friends maybe), really. maybe if i were blinging out of my ass.
saturday, september 9th — went to the winchester mystery house with xinlei, her bf matt, and sherry. it was uhhhh okay. not as exciting as i had remembered it to be. honestly? i think i confused some dream i had with reality or something, because i distinctly remembered this one area, but… it… didn’t exist. yeah. i am a freak HOOOO T_T anyways. i ordered some clothes from ebay. where the fuck are they! godamn my clotheshorseness! anyways, there was also this “behind the scenes tour” which was a couple bucks more, so we took it, and it was a little more exciting… showed us the basement and coal shoots and how the elevators worked and stuff… yeah. sherry said they should have had the behind the scenes take place first, and i think she is right! oh well, though. dude, they had an arcade there with fucking mario brothers arcade game, wtf? i played the simpsons arcade game… the side-scrolling one like double dragon type. speaking of video games… alex’s ex had all of his video game consoles when they broke up so uhh now they’re all hers. that just makes me mad :X i want a nintendo bad. T__T i rhyme. went home and ate dinner with family and roxanne, and after dinner, sherry and i went to the theatre to watch “little miss sunshine” — IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME, even if steve carrell didn’t play a huge noticeable role. very cool characters who made an outrageous plot believable.
sunday, september 10th — came home. la la la. think bought groceries @ the korean market near our house, paldo world. that place is weird. they don’t sell chicken. do koreans not eat chicken!!!! although, i can’t really think of where they use chicken, minus the fried chicken you see at some restaurants. DUN DUN DUN, THE MYSTERY QUESTION: DO KOREANS NOT EAT CHICKEN!?

in other news, i don’t remember much of what happened each day minus a couple things: someone made us a craft sushi monster. it’s fucking pimp!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve started playing diablo 2 again, cause it’s good for you. we don’t have a table, so we need to go buy one tomorrow @ ikea. k i guess we’re going wednesday.

i don’t think i mentioned anywhere that some day in august, lenny, posa, linh, and i went to shota sushi & grill, and we got a huge ass platter of sashimi (disgusting) and what we wanted was a godamn video of the chef preparing something, but that didn’t happen. i did try every kind of fish though,and in conclusion: aji (spanish mackeral) is pretty good, but my favorite is sockeye salmon, which is apparently weird. but whuteva! at some point we also went to isami next to uwajimaya, and that place is fucking gross.

yupyup.
friday, september 15th — crossett rented some movie called “alice” (or “neco z alenky”) by a czech director, jan svankmajer. it was AMAZING. what was also amazing was a short that was on the dvd, “darkness light darkness”. it was a bunch of body parts coming together to form a person in a tiny room — a body made of clay. AWESOME. he’s like a surreal cinema guy, so his other work used puppets, props like animal skulls, and clay to get the idea across. AWESOME. right up my alley.

saturday, september 16th — watched the fucking ong-bak sequel movie, “the protector” with posa, linh, lenny, and alex. god. it had definitely one of the stupidest movie scenes i have ever seen. jeezus man. there’s this one part where all of these EXTREME!!!! people come out and start attacking him with rollerblades on and riding bikes towards him and at some point a fucking sand buggy tractor something or other thing. SO STUPID.
sunday, september 17th — yet another movie. “the sentinel” with michael douglas and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eva longoria and uhhhhhhh that fool from 24. i forgot his name right now. blank. it was better than i’d expected, but those kind of stereotypical action flicks always get lost in memory after time goes on…

i’m listening to… “like it or not” by madonna (the best track on her new album, if you ask me), her majesty the decemberists by the decemberists.
i’m feeling… alright.somewhere around 3:00 am — starting yesterday, i’ve been making daily lists of shit i need to do. i need some kind of organization system. there’s just too much shit that is too easy to blow off… and when you’re your own boss, motivation is HIGHLY necessary.

anyways. lately lenny and i have been working on our sushimonsters website which is dedicated to sushi… a lot of working on that, actually. that and redefine. you’d think i have a full-time job, only i am broke as shit. in fact — i don’t think i have been this broke in YEARS. seriously. i really am living off paycheck to paycheck… it’s really quite depressing when i think about it. and point is, i’m broke cause i didn’t turn in my time sheet last month, and… yeah. … sad.

went to a job interview last week, and I ACTUALLY GOT CALLED BACK FOR A SECOND INTERVIEW. i have NEVER. i must make a poor impression at interviews, cause people always compliment my portfolio and my resume and stuff, but then… i never get jobs. but i hope this one works out, because it’s for a scrapbooking company — and although i’d never really pay for that shit, shit, i’ll take a potential discount. i LIKE the stuff… it’s just way too expensive for my blood. i haven’t updated my photo album in a long while — something i’ll have to get to doing when i have more time…

i hope i get the job also, though, cause it is 4 days a week in TACOMA (really fucking far…) and the office is in the STICKS. that being said, though, fridays will be worked from home… and that is pimp shit. amongst other things. i need money, being the main one. if i don’t get some money… i really probably am going to stop with redefine. honestly? i don’t give a shit if i work a job and put some money into it. but i need a job. blah. the chance of me surviving off of it… slim to none. but that doesn’t mean i want to stop doing it. particularly if i have the money… money makes the world go round — i’m learning this. but i still want to do what i want to do. no compromises.

i find that i am getting calloused by people… i try to be motivated by good intentions but i mmmmm i don’t know. i suppose things never turn out the way you want them to?

i don’t like the idea of not getting along with people. unfortunate. because in the case i am thinking of, i should not care. in this particular case that comes to mind though… the only one that is my “not getting along with people,” i should say, cause i have never hated anyone else but him… with the exception of ONE other person who i hated because he did some REALLY fucked up shit that i won’t even begin to explain… i didn’t even hate this guy i dated before coming to college who told everyone i had sex with him. whatever. doesn’t even sweat it. but in this case, i hate. but not because i really care. but because i regret. i regret sticking up for him, so many times, when other people said he was a jackass and a terrible person. i regret defending him and saying, hey, give him a chance… he’s really not that bad of a person. i don’t even know HOW many times i took that leap. i said, hey, he’s my friend, chill out, at least don’t talk shit around me, cause he’s my friend. friend my fucking ass. to make it even worse… everyone he is surrounded with, he knew through me. his girlfriend? through me. does it matter to him? i suppose not. maybe he doesn’t even care about the other friendships. i wouldn’t be surprised. but personally, i regret it, although i did meet a few people through him, but for the most part, it is relatively worthless to me. whatever. it’s just uncomfortable when you think you’re being really good to someone and someone returns no such sentiments, i suppose. fuck the sacrifice… i’m getting more and more cynical about people everyday. in the end: i’m glad it’s over, albeit at the risk of the destruction of harmony. but asides from that… it’s alright. just CALLOUSING. i suppose i should consider it a learning process. something along the lines of… hmmm… even if a person is your friend, if the person is an asshole, maybe you should re-think it. note to self: made.

i never really was cynical about people. i have ALWAYS been cynical about THINGS and the outcome of THINGS… but never about people individually. but it’s changing…

today i blew up at lenny a little bit, cause i was annoyed that i had just gotten a ticket and had made a turn when the light was red blahblahblah. was driving down pine or pike or something, and some lady was trying to get in… and lenny was like, did you see her? and i said, yea. but i didn’t FEEL like letting her in. most of the time i do. but i dunno. i didn’t feel like it. and i don’t think that needed an explanation. and my explanation was that i didn’t feel like letting her in. that’s kind of terrible. i didn’t feel like letting her in because i didn’t feel like being nice. i suppose that is something i’ve always done upon feeling bad — withdrawal. it’s natural for most people, but it’s not good. it must be sought out and reprimanded (hahaha).

alright, so onto actual journal stuff, since i never type in this shit anymore… i really should. and i really should back it up too, in case one day it goes kerblunker. cause it’s very possible. yes… note to self. asap.

mmm… i mentioned in the previous post that scm came up one week. didn’t really say much about that then because i didn’t feel like it, so i suppose i will now. there was much videogame playing, and that was the extent of it. brett [pwny] and i did have some good conversation, though. human interactions are so weird. some people it is pretty natural to be comfortable around… and some people it’s difficult no matter what. and some people it’s easy to be around under certain settings, but not under others. i’m not making sense. i don’t know… but uh i guess pwny has a $50,000 modeling program that he managed to download for free? that has nothing to do with anything, but HOLY SHIT MAN.

last week, liz came up from cali to hang out in seattle. mmm. yes. me, her, eva, and lenny went to the woodland park zoo. first time, first time. hmm… it was pretty subpar. a small place, so i suppose it is natural. i did like a couple of things, though: - there was a re-creation of a tribal hut in africa. that was neat… but didn’t really have anything to do with animals. - there were also a bunch of gorillas, and one kept doing somersaults. god, i swear, monkeys are so much like people. there was a “grandma” gorilla who had her tongue out half the time and seriously was just sitting in the corner like a wise sage watching over the other gorillas. WITH A CANE IN HAND. WHAT THE FSCK. seriously kind of freakish how similar they are — gorilla arms are just like human arms. GOD. HOW CAN TRIBAL PEOPLE EAT BUSHMEAT??? that’s all i have to ask. jeezus. - penguins. we were watching them for a LONG ASS TIME (the place was about to close), waiting for them to jump into the water. they kept standing in a line and inching forward (teases) and then they would not jump for like 20 minutes. but then we left to go to the… - nocturnal exhibit. which was pretty fscking cool. man, hedgehogs are SOOOOO CUTE. and bats are cool too — i don’t know why they get all the stigma they get, but they do. didn’t know anteaters were nocturnal, though. good to know. is it? maybe not. but yeah, the nocturnal exhibit was completely dark. and there were these blind cave fish with pure white eyeballs. wewt. damn scary ass blind shit down deep in the unknown!! unfortunately, the place was small, so all of the animals that were there were animals that i pretty much have already seen. but whuteva. bigger zoo next time, hopefully… mmm while liz was still here, i suppose the only other notable thing really was that she (and a little bit of i, but mostly she) beat “mario 3″… that was sweet. on the last day before liz left, she and eva had coffee plans and i tagged along. that was cool. lots of reminiscing. aaah, kind of like being in 1406. i miss it at times. i think i miss it a lot, actually. life was much more… simpler. i suppose. it was just fun times with fun people… party all the time… now i party no times… how lame. life flies by so fast. it’s depressing. but yeah. there was lots of talks of shrooms. for some reason. i suppose cause there were many fond memories of shroomagery… positive or not… but in retrospect, no matter what, it was awesome. but yeah. i miss the late night talks and late night 7-11 trips. so much late night living. thus is the college life… and it is good.

hmmm… yesterday, andy [crossett] and i went to drop off some magazines around greenwood/phinney, and i met up with one of my writers, john [gillanders] at tin hat bar and grill. my writers are so great. but anyway. lots of his friends were there… there was some interesting conversation about band photos. one of the press releases we got from a band called fear of dolls was printed on nice irredescent paper that you might see on a wedding invite. that had a lot of comments. along with their press photo, which was them as babies. i thought it was kind of funny. the album was called lullabies for aborted children. sounds like a fscking winner to me?!!

anyway, we placed the order way early, and the cook ended up putting like… 40,000 slices of bacon on the grill for some reason — before he made our food. the waitress ended up giving us our food for free cause the wait was so long. damn, the lady was so freaking intense. i don’t know how to explain it. she looked like a bitch and talked like a bitch — SORTA — but she was really nice. it’s so strange. not dissing on her… i thought she was cool. but i’ve met few people that intense and nice at the same time is all haha. it was near surreal. got to play some free pinball, cause mondays are free pinball nights. wewt.

today susan [kang] got 15 free meals from winning a raffle, so lenny and i took 2 of the spots. it was at wild fish in belltown. welcome to our first sushi review, wild fish! it was pretty decent food. EXTREMELY CHEAP!! and monica worked there, i guess… so there was a lot of small talk when lenny and i were the only ones left behind, since everyone else literally chowed down their food and ran away or something haha. it was weird O__o

god i want to write about everything for some reason. i’m seriously going to regret this tomorrow. why did i drink black tea before sleeptime? THAT’S what i’m going to regret, actually. GOD.

anyways. after going to wild fish (wewt, free foooood… btw it was sponsored by a financial planning place and they made us fill out some “seminar paperwork” prior to eating, but they didn’t really care about our job, it seemed, and i’m pretty sure they got NOTHING out of us!), lenny and i went around belltown, checked out some other sushi places, and dropped off some magazines. some downtown too. at capitol hill, when we were dropping off mags, i got a ticket. godamnit. after paying for parking ALL DAY i had to get a ticket at the last stop. fucking suck. as if i’m not poor enough. which all leads back to: i hope i get that godamn job.

finishing up reading “wind up bird chronicles” again. i never remember books well when i read them. then i’m going to read a book trask lent me, and then i’m going to read a book of crossett’s. blahblah, the book list seriously never ends. which is excellent. i <3 books. i’m thinking of just starting a random site where i’ll write about books and movies. just for my own humor, i suppose. but it’s harder now to get a big site… i guess i just remember when my old korean music site got really big — cause it was easy then — competition was minimal… nowadays… it’s decidedly harder. i hope we keep that in mind with the sushi thing… it seems so easy, though, which MAY be the problem…

it’s hard being young. no one knows what they’re doing, and everyone thinks money is so easy to come by. money is NOT easy to come by. shitty.

anyway, lenny is moving out of his house, in with posa soon. it is the good and the bad. the good is that he’s moving out. the bad is that it’s into a one bedroom apartment, which means that he will be sleeping in the living room, which means some things lalala. insert: usage of imagination. anyways. lenny really does need to move out, though. his mother is suffocating. i really think she is just very awkward at loving, particularly since she is divorced and all of her family was killed… i don’t think it’s that she is particularly insensitive… perhaps just calloused and feels too sorry for herself? and that does not translate well to lenny, who always does what she asks and didn’t go to wsu like his brothers and instead has to help her with the store, fixing up the house… etc. that’s the sign of a good son. really. yet, she is not satisfied. it’s really, really quite bizarre, and i wonder what goes on in her head. she always tells lewis (their awesome dog which i used to think was kind of ugly but now i think is super cute) that he is the only one she loves more than anyone… never lenny or posa. and she has told me many times how lonely she is and how they will never take care of her or love her. is she asking for a self-fulfilling prophecy? i don’t know. but that’s what’s going to happen if she doesn’t learn to love better… lenny said his brothers said she used to be different, and the change came when she got her tubes tied, cause it has the possibility of changing your personality. so weird. i know she does care about lenny and posa — but i think perhaps she just does not understand how to go about it without being absolutely suffocating. and i feel bad for lenny that he has had to endure such psychosis — but i feel bad for her too… particularly for when lenny moves out; she really WILL be alone. did she bring it upon herself? possibly. many asian parents DON’T understand that you can’t just keep pressuring your kid with nothing else in mind; but at this time, i don’t think considering other people’s opinions over her own really comes to mind. according to lenny, when she gets together with her friends, all she does is shit-talk about them. that’s not right. not for any kid… i’m sure it’s a tough decision. it’s the age-old dilemma, i’m sure, though, for lenny… how far do you consider the feelings of others before deciding that you need to stand up for your own?

random fact of the day: studying for school trains you to fall asleep reading forever. :]

random thought of the day: i thought of this simply because i told lenny this today as we were passing by the construction site of an office building. alex’s dad oversees the building of office buildings. he used to be kind of like a spiritual “hippie” like his mom, but he’s now a businessman. a good one, at that, i presume. but he’s still a hippie or whatever at heart, so once he made it successfully as a businessman, he used his powers a little bit to combine his hippiness with his business-saavy. because he works for a big construction company, he managed to get his company to recycle all of their building parts, even though it’s not that “cheap” of a procedure. but because his company is pretty big, a lot of companies have followed suit with the recycling with their own companies… and all in all, to quote “bruce almighty,” IT’S GOOOOD.”

i’m listening to… the weakerthans, “a whole new world” rofls, theory of a deadman, tom cochrane, tom jones & the cardigans, trace adkins, van halen, minus the bear, kanye west, aerosmith, aaron lines, led zeppelin that some douche labeled as aerosmith those fuckers.

4:04 am - it’s 4:04 — why am i awake!!
i took an involuntary nap from 9 - 12. whenever i sleep early, i always wake up halfway through the night with the inability to fall back asleep. every time. i don’t know why i even try anymore. or maybe i don’t really try. i always used to do this too - take a nap at like 11 for an hour, get up at midnight, and then do what i do… it’s odd, and it only happens when i’m at home. don’t know why, really. i’m nocturnal. jea.

so call me a gullible tool, but i searched this site extensively and i’ve decided to buy a pair of the regular rings: http://www.alexchiu.com. i really think there are way too many testimonials to make it seem fake… but /shrug, maybe he’s not posting the REJECTS. i wouldn’t doubt it. he IS chinese after all A HA HA HA.

so i am officially hitched. k, not really. but i have a boyfriend now. ah ha ha ha. i would not have thunkit like this really. his name is lenny. most of you probably know of him at least. it took me a while to decide that i was ready to commit to anything… i’ve always had the mentality that maybe something else better will come along and since i haven’t dated much, who knows, right? that’s why i didn’t want a real relationship but after getting intimate with him or whatever, i’ve met people that i have been interested in, but i haven’t found anyone better.

one of them was awesome up until i found out he was a liar and a fake and he’s good at saying the right things only because he thinks them through too much. the other is cute as hell but just talks too much about things that are boring. anyway. i think it’s been long enough, i think, and it’s about time. even though he has pissed me off. a lot. but it’s alright. men are at their core douches, am i right? HAW HAW just kidding. sorta! but i’m sure i can whip him into shape. i know it!! HAW. anyways, looking back on the official dates of when problems were generally rare and feelings were generally happy, the official relationship begin date is at august 8th, when we went to portland with arlen and farm[ula/ing].

josh is on his way to kuwait i think. THAT FUCKER. he better fucking take care of his raunchy ass. he better fucking err. down krew’s #1 chump. no dizzle.

this past weekend we had a little shindig at our new place on 7th ave in apartment 409. it was mostly good, a lotta people, too many videogames, and cleared out a little too fast for my liking. i don’t dig the videogames at parties, but i have no authority.

that day before the party alex and i went 409 and pledge-wipe on the apartment and owned all of the disease-causing mold. HOORAHS FOR US.

i’m going to try writing in here again. when i have the time. wish i hadn’t stopped writing from august 16th to septembr 28th. i wonder what those days held. i’m obsessed with chrologizinizing (not a word) time. it’s strange. but i am obsessed with memories and thoughts. maybe i just like hearing myself talk too much. or maybe i just don’t want to forget more than i already do…

lenny’s helping me piece together the missing days. cause his memory is freakishly good for some things…

[08/20] at some point, zach came up from portland and stayed a few days. i must admit, it was a little weird. the guy doesn’t talk much. this would be mommy’s birthday, and phil and i were gonna buy flowers but agreed it’d be better if he just bought them and walked over there and delivered them to her. save money and it’d be more personal too. saw better than ezra on this day. they were decent, some weird show at some weird park in bellevue. mostly families. we were probably the only “teenagers” (although not really) there. MORE LATER. —>

[08/21] ate weed brownie’s @ jesse’s place. they didn’t work very well cause him and karam got their strainer taken away by roger who moved, and so the motherfuckers messed up. ;[ waste of $10. speaking of, jesse, that motherfucker, owes me money. whatever. very very lame high.

i’m thinking being a teacher would be cool. starting monday i’m volunteering with this lady at a public school downtown for being a helper for kindergarteners in literacy. wewtz0r. english for the win.

can’t wait to get back to seattle. oh yeah, i’ve been at home in cali for the last week or so. umm… i’ve been having some annoying eye problems and so my parentals wanted me to come home to relax. grandpa’s here too because him and mom are going to china. i never have anything to talk to him about really, unfortunately… sigh grandpa is so good!

my eye problems have been something like nystagmus. i don’t know, though, because only one nurse has said that and everyone else has been completely clueless and unhelpful. i’ve gone to four doctors and one emergency room visit. the first doctor was a primary care physician and didn’t know shit. he said my feeling of lying down and having a warm sensation come from my ear was probably due to earwax buildup. and flushed my ears. in a painful way with a stupid water hose device. and the shit didn’t help, as i could have told the motherfucker. and it cost me a hundred bucks, that douchebag. god i swear to god i hate doctors. i’ll killem all! no but seriously, if you have a problem, research the shit out of it first so that you can tell them you think it’s something because you know your symptoms better than you can ever describe. and doctors don’t listen to lengthy lists and they always form opinions way too quick. it’s no good. one of my doctors even said after seeing me once, “i have no idea. see another doctor.” this was after i got an mri which proved negative to tumors and sinusitis. and it’s going to burn a hole into our fucking pockets. fuck.

one thing though — nystagmus can be brought on by drug use, and i do think that’s what it was. after doing 2ci — which was fucking rad btw — i could make myself hallucinate. jesse’s done it, and he can do it too. all i can say is, i love the drugs, but i think i’m done. really. cept for maybe weed. but i don’t even really care for it, so that’s no prob. i also think perhaps it is attributed to when me and sherry and other ppl took a 30 minute boat ride back from an island in italy and we kept our face over the side of the boat the entire time. WHAT THE FUCK WERE WE THINKING? okay, i take it back. THAT was probably the winner. i think my tear ducts are fucked. and then there’s the unstoppable crying…

last time — probably about a week ago — lenny went with me to the emergency room because it felt like me eyes were gonna bulge out of my head or something. think i had a panic attack there. i was seeing weird shit, weird flashes, feeling all nervous and jittery… BLEH, weird. maybe i’m way stressed out and i just don’t know it… i DO know i’m tense all the time, so maybe i should start meditating. i swear i should but sometimes meditation makes me feel weird — maybe because i don’t know how to do it properly.

anyway, copy and pasted from xanga…
so alex has gotten into this thing within the past ohhh four months or something where if he feels sick, he buys an emer’gen’c and takes it. for those who don’t know, it’s a water-soluble mix of vitamins. put it in a bottle of water and you’ve got yourself a health-sickness-combatant. well, in the wake of my eye problems and hearing from my parents that perhaps it’s a vitamin deficiency, i’ve started taking emer’gen’c’s. and that, combined with centrum and what not, has helped my eyes immensely. maybe it’s just a coincidence. i don’t know. but i don’t care. it seems like it has been working now our whole apartment (well, 6 out of 7 people) take it. GOOD JOB ALEX. STARTING A REVOLUTION IN 409. alex and arlen have also devised a giant fda cover-up conspiracy theory. vitamins are not fda approved. none are. why? pharmaceutical companies comprise such a huge portion of the u.s. economy that without them — say, if vitamins really could cure every disease like somepeople believe — the economy would hurt even more. OH SORRY I GUESS ARLEN AND FARM DEVISED IT, NOT ARLEN AND ALEX! who knows. makes sense to me. it DEFINITELY is suspicious that the fda never have done tests on vitamins, though. it seems in the natural scheme of things, doesn’t it? been getting a lot of awesome chinese meals because people keep treating grandpa to them as a courtesy thing… so eating is good.

and i’ve been reading a lot — there’s way too much reading material around here. we got united mileage points that were allotted for free magazines, so i have like a fatty stack of them — all over the board, from blender to wired to seventeen. GOOD SHIT. i like it. and my brother always buys shitloads of books and tosses them, so i’ve been reading them. too bad they’re all similar types of books. after reading “the client” by john grisham — the 600 words in 2 days — i started another similar murder-mystery type thing and got bored in about two seconds. i need something a little different to sandwich between it. there’s the “left behind” series of biblical rapture stories, but that’s a no thanks on many levels. cause the shit scares me and cause … no thanks.

i swear to god dude. TRAPT is such a shitty damn godamn band. what the hell.

there’s freak night again this year. THE FUCKING LIARS. they said last year was the last one. LIARS. i wanna be a tetris piece this year. KEKEKKEE.

i also signed up for mfa… it’s a political awareness organization that you can volunteer for. i signed up with the hopes that if i help them out, i can get tickets to the sold-out death cab for cutie show. fingers crossed.

also got a $600 freelance webdesign offer for an freelance writer. wish i would have charged more, though, cause it seems like it might be more work than i initially thought…

i’m not in too much of a rush to find a real job. i’m such a bum. still working part time. i just am rich in the bank account though, so i don’t really feel a need to look too hard. but i should… i don’t know, from now until the end of the year the money should be rolling in pretty OK. definitely enough for survival. i still am owed $50 by chris, $100 by eric, $100 more from a website revamp i did, a $1,000 mini-magazine/catalog design thing on nutrition, the $600 webdesign thing, my part time anti-tobacco job should bring in about $300 a month… i’ve $2,000 from working for a week and a half @ a job tim got me coding css for some design interactive firm. those motherfuckers. didn’t even let me go with a goodbye rofl. but luckily for me, i have a book of one of the co-workers jim (okay, he was cool, so i should give it back) and an illustrator and indesign book. not like they’re going to use em… :0 anyway, BASICALLY I THINK I CAN LIVE WITHOUT SELLING OUT TO THE MAN JUST YET. i’m just banking on the magazine doing a lot better, really fast, because the last issue got so fast so quickly that i think it’s possible again… but it needs time, and i need the time, and TIME. AND TIME.

“HELP MEH! HELP MEH PLEASE!”
i think i’m satisfied. i THINK i know what i’m doing “give me a high-five!!!” god, the wayans bros. was fucking GENIUS. corny, in retrospect, but still, genius!! GENEEIUAASS.

i do know, that for as long as i’m feeling good, though, i’m going to explore. and live as it should be lived… andy [crossett] is bored of being holed up in our apartment because people don’t care about going out that much. i agree. it’s time to learn and live and explore and find something to do. it’s always better with a buddy. so we’re going to stop cooping ourselves up in our apartment and start harrassing bitches.

i’m listening to… the tv on fox.
i’m feeling… ok.

8:30 pm — too much fun, not enough work… but so much work to do.

anyway, to write about our anti-valentine’s day parti last night… it was eva’s idea… we planned it for a while. we wanted to make all these games and crafts cause were retarded. we made heart envelopes for people to write anti-valentine’s (you know when people used to give each other valentine’s?? well, anti-valentine’s say things like “DIE IN A FIRE, BIATCH” etc. -__-

we also had a board that we were thinking of throwing darts at… with cards on it with different tasks for people to do. also we had this board where the guy board was a bunch of sperms (with awesomely cut and pasted photos of our friends pasted on the sperm as the heads… wow i cannot speak english) trying to make it to an egg (which later apparently won the key to MY “chastity belt” — only the truth is the key is only level one and there’s actually a lazer eye scan and fingerprint scan as well). the girl side was pregnant girls trying to make it to the abortion clinic.

eva placed one of the sperm sideways, going off the board, and farm was wiggling the tail around… “SO CLOSE, SO CLOSE… BUT CAN’T TOUCH…” ahhh it was funny, even though it doesn’t seem like it. wow, i am talking like a retard. haven’t written in too long the brain is like dead.

hmm i’ll jump around. before the parti me and alex went on an adventure to mcdonald’s (bwok bwok!), northgate, liquor store, lenny’s store! it was an adventure like one cannot bereevs. and uh… the day before yesterday me and mike went over to andy’s place in kirkland (holy moses it’s far). and they have NO RECYCLING BIN even though they have so much recyclables in the trash brawawrrrarar. i borrowed “clockwork orange” from him - and it is straight up awessome. at first it seemed kind of hard to read but it turns out to be really easy to get a hang of.

oh yes and before me and alex went to the adventure, i went with mike to his friends eddie and robin’s place, and there were these two other guys named david there… and i pwned the noob! actually, i guess i only pwned mike, cause turns out the $10 i won came from him, but if we had stayed til the end, i would have liked to pwn the dave… there was a chubby dave and a skinny dave… the chubby dave was kind of funny sometimes but the skinny dave was annoying as a motherfucker, i straight wanted to sock him in the godamn face. i was shuffling cards on my lap and he’s like, “could you bring the cards up to the table? thanks.” and then mike and eddie had folded so they were just looking at the cards that other people folded also, and he was like, “could you please not look at the cards?” — okay, those things i sort of understand. it may be a little rude. he was like, “sorry, i just like playing poker conventionally.” but he kept going out of turn, so we kept telling him to stay on turn and go when it was his turn, and then that’s when he turned into a fucking annoying ass dickhead. he like refused to do anything until we said to him, “HEY, IT’S YOUR TURN.” what a bitch dude. and mike invited him to our parti, and so i was like, shit, and kind of annoyed… so hahahah robin and eddie ended up making excuses… first they told them that i cancelled the parti. but the two daves still wanted to hang out with them, so they were like, “uhh we need to go to qfc to buy… chips.” LOL. FUCKING FUNNY. but i guess it worked, so whatever. wtf?

anyway back to the parti. there were these two guys that came… no one really knew them but they knew some girls mike knew i guess. but yeah - like - one of them wanted to leave to go crabbing but his friend didn’t want to leave, so the fool who wanted to leave decides to punch out the glass on the fire extinguisher. and everyone in our apartment was just like WTF. and the thing was - HE WAS COMPLETELY SOBER. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU…!!! !! ! and i guess the two of them wanted to fight each other, but the girls had to talk them out of it or something. i have no idea, but it’s fucking stupid.

uhhh what else happened. MAN! andy wrote me the most awesome anti-valentine… it was like two run-on sentences of killing-death LOVE but i was showing it to liz this morning and i think i accidentally threw it out T__T out of all of the ones i could have possibly thrown out, WHY WAS IT THAT ONE… that was like the only awesome ass one :[

what else happened. uhhh. shit a lot of stuff happened. i only took two shots of absolut citron and i got drunk as fuck… it went away pretty fast, but initially it was supar drunkardness. i was light-headed after one shot, it was seriously the weirdest thing :0

apparently eva wanted to go outside to smoke, and so liz was like, “let me finish my beer,” and eva was trying to help her drink faster so she tilted the beer up and ended up spilling it all over her lmao.

and hojo gave me a lapdance cause it was one of the things on the card he drew. and then eva was like, “nuh uh, this is how it’s done,” and then she gave me a lapdance. and then everyone was like, “yea, she’s good.”

more when i think of it.

i’m listening to… copeland.
i’m feeling… meh.

11:33 pm — eww so i guess my stomach pains were caused by a cyst i have near my ovary. they say it’s probably a fluid filled normal cyst… they said ultrasound, but the doctor said it’d hurt since i’m a virgin, so he is recommending that i go to a gynocologist first. shit, just as scary.

so i have this thing where i just buy books by random authors sometimes if they’re on sale… just to see how other people write and get a feel of how different writers write. i bought this book called “number nine dream” by david mitchell… and it started out really awesome… but then after starting it, you can’t tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t… it’s almost too surreal. with a movie, it’s decent, because you can kind of keep track of what’s real and what’s not because you have a better visual of what’s going on… but with a book, it’s just downright confusing.

speaking of confusing, me and alex watched “secret window” cause it was on hbo or whatever (my favorite channels)… and shit, that has a weird ass ending.

i think i lost my husky card or something T__T i really hope not!… it’s so inconvenient not having your husky card and having to go to work (especially since i get tickets now when i drive to work for a short period of time). T__T fuck dude, so much to do, so little time… no wonder i’m obsessed with efficiency and stuff. and recycling. for some reason i’m obsessed with recycling. it’s really odd.

(lenny’s response:)
“and recycling. for some reason i’m obsessed with recycling. it’s really odd.”
The Captain Planet episodes have done their job nicely.

i’m listening to… j-majik’s “drum’n'bass mix” cd… =) j-majik is so dope… =) aiyo, this is best elektronik cd i have =T or maybe aaron simpson’s volume 4… either way, best drum’n'bass cd ^__^
i’m feeling… fine.

2:34 am — okay, my brother has a weird picture of some girl he knows sleeping as our wallpaper. what the fuck. i don’t want that as our wallpaper! -__-;; sooo i’m trying to figure out how to sell my old cards (baseball cards, simpsons cards, nintendo cards, alf cards, marvel comic book cards, etc. etc. hahaha >P) and old comic books… ^__^ hopefully i can sell them… i’m pretty broke right now… well, not exactly broke, but i’ve been spending a lot of money as of late and i NEED to buy a new camera and i want to buy some other shit… like that =T i’ve even resorted to selling my old korean music cd’s and posters and ish… hehe. =X i should sell my korean kasoo signatures… they go for a lot of money hahaha =X i remember i sold kim dongwan from shinhwa’s signature (because i did not like him at all) and got like fifty bucks offa that shit man… craziness… korean music fans are crazy… well, i don’t know cause they might have changed these days since korean music is getting shitty… in my opinion anyways. maybe that’s just because i listen to a lot less of it now, though.

so anyways. yesterday when i came back my parents told me that they found a lot of the old novels and stories i wrote… shit jigga, i was good! the problem is, i don’t think my english has gotten too much better since like middle school… haha fucking sad… i was really good back then (i believe), but now my english just sort of sucks yo… maybe it’s cause i don’t talk properly enough or something. i am not quite sure. man, it would be so dope to be able to publish a book ^__^ i think if i am so capable, i would love to do that on my spare time when i am older. half the stuff i wrote when i was little i don’t even remember writing though… really weird. some of that shit is just straight-up bizarre haha. some imagination, i guess. i couldn’t imagine being a novel writer for a living though. trying to come up with new, original ideas for books must be freaking difficult. =T

anyways, today was just basically a normal day to start with… just lazed around the house… i have so much ish i want to get done so as usual… blah. i guess i have too many things i want to do and i only get around to like what… 1/5th of them? maybe? sad day =T so… me, dahye, dave [lee], and phil [wu] went down to milpitas (as usual). we still do the same ol shit. haha. guess it will never change, eh? we say it’s boring, but in actuality, it’s boring no matter where you go, i think. you do the same ol ish everywhere. anyways. phil just got back from japan yesterday… that lucky ass. i want to go. sort of. yeah, i do. even though my japanese sucks ass. =X anyways, went down south, got some boba, played some pool, and i somehow (wrongingly) convinced the kids to rent mulholland drive… =X hahahaha… it made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. =_= and ON TOP OF THAT, it was SLOW AS FUCK. jesus christ… it was so boring and weird and boring and had lesbian scenes which were weird and had a freaky dirty-looking homeless guy and this old couple who looked too happy like they were on uppers or something and it was just boring and weird and didn’t make sense at all. >__< dahye wants to watch it again tomorrow and see if we understand… perhaps i shalt, but i must talk with eva and sherry first since they are the only individuals i know of who have seen the god-forsaken thing. I AM SO SORRY TO DAHYE, PHIL, AND DAVE! =X haha… sorry for wasting (nearly) three hours of your precious lives =X hehe. night.

(fil’s response:)
Actually, i read some message boards on the movie and it makes sense now. Kinda. Well more than after finishing watching the movie. It scares me that people had the time to think of how the story went.

i’m listening to… — “aurora” bai foo fighters [rock], “pressure roll” bai ak1200 [drum’n'bass], “all cried out” bai allure & 112 [r&b], “sorry” bai tension [mandarin], “zero gravity” bai ethereal 77 [drum’n'bass]
i’m feeling… alright.
i’m hella diggin… pretzel flipz… ^__^ yummieeeee.

august 16th — so… i started reading the first chapter of “running with scissors” by augusten burroughs… not bad, but not as funny as i thought it would be since they compared him to sedaris… not funny enough for me to spend nearly $25 on so i am returning it. wOo! so i guess i really am very capable of reading a book a day (i used to do that so much when i was little). read fight club in a day. blah. novels are great. =T being rekindled with my first love, eh? ^__^ well anyways, i worked tonight… well, this afternoon and this night. and then afterwards josh picked me up and me, him, janine, and [baller-]steve went to the airport to pick up margaret, steve’s girlfriend. my first time meeting her. last time she came i was in cali. >__< ehh… quite miserable i was because here i was, stuck between two couples… josh and janine because constantly like *rawr, all over each other, and margaret and steve being ones that don’t see each other that much, so… yeah. just got me thinking… missing things, wondering why i did certain things before. weird how when i think i only remember good stuff and then i’m like… what the hell! reason it did not work out is because __________ and then i decide hmmm whatever, i’ll just be doomed to a life of singledom and / or bad relationship skills. or something. i bet half the people who read my last two or three sentences doesn’t understand what the hell i am writing. i am not surprised, for i barely know what the heck i am writing. anyway. afterwards, we went to steve’s and chilled for a bit and then went home. wasn’t anything big. but played some grand theft auto. wee! ^__^ what he needs is capcom vs. snk… haha. i actually get urges to play that game… cause i used to get urges to play street fighter you know but that’s better cause it’s like the good street fighter characters plus more. so… yeah. ^__^ has anyone noticed morrigan looks really weird in that game? like pixelated. anyways.

august 17th — woke up at 10 to go to work… blah… i’m working a lot this week compared to usual because my boss wishes to exploit me before i go leave for cali (and this is because i told him that i am leaving this coming saturday… muhaha… i am so clever >__<;). the only reason for this is because he needs people to work insane shifts for him in september and basically no… i don’t want to be working for him everyday. literally. what he needs is to hire some new fucking workers. only me and this guy damon actually work. and maybe this girl jennifer… i am not sure. the other people never clean anything, never stock up anything, ugh… they’re so gay… and this girl tells me she’ll be late AN HOUR AND A HALF before she has to come in! and she says she is in edmonds so she might be late. jesus christ it’s not like edmonds is that far. fucking gay bitch. -__-; but it’s whatevers. just a pain in the ass because they ALWAYS don’t show up for work and so my boss calls me asking me to come in. fuck that shit. hmmm so after work i sat around for a while and then chol comes over… and we sit around bored for hours… literally. well i wasn’t that bored but just a little… disturbed. or something. i don’t know why. things just really bother me these days because so many things that annoy me are out of my control… and hard to get people to change. or something. -__-; man, i don’t know. and i feel bad about some things… but eh. blah. wonder if i am really a nice person. anyways. so me and chol go to frequency 8 to buy tickets for dynamo 4, right? that went to hell. they STILL don’t have tickets. tha heck? maybe we’ll end up having to go to platinum or something. but someone remind me, i have out-of-state id, so it is possibly cheaper? eh. whatever. and then we were bored and we drove around looking for somewhere to eat but chol was being picky (right?) so we drove up north by aurora and shit and completely drove in a circle and came back to u-dubb to eat at SUBWAY which was probably like, our first suggestion in the first place. we are so gay. oh well. it’s been a long time since i’ve eaten at subway? i think we were there for a good two hours… and godammit, i think i fucked up my nails… cause i started biting one (first time in a long time) and basically i screwed myself over and yeah. blah. -___-; dumb, dumb, dumb. then we were bored and decided to go check out naf. god we are so sad. but then when we got there, we saw that it ended at two and then we were asking if we got a discount cause it ended so early and it was already almost 12:30 and they said no in a bitchy way. and then i asked about out-of-state id and they ignored us. it was like talking to a motherfucking brick wall man. they all seemed really frustrated but nevertheless. off in the corner some guy was screaming, “FUCK YOU! WHAT DID HE SAY? DO I NEED TO SHUT DOWN ANOTHER STAGE?” and people were saying, “no.” wonder who this dictator totalitarianist guy was. haha. -__-; the rave ended at two because they couldn’t get cops to take care of it from 2 to 6. seems like the rave scene is just going down. parties getting cancelled and what the not (haha, what the not). but i guess party throwers are talking about moving it underground (after me and chol left we talked to victor some about what not). and whatever… i guess there are these things called “renegade raves” where people just break into wherehouses, set up shit, and throw parties. interesting, i must say. whatever mannn. sad day. time to lotion my skin. >P

oh, right, and… the hot guy who lives on my floor and works at the hub is fucking GAY! boy i sure know how to pick em -__-;<

i’m listening to… — my roommate’s music (no doubt’s new weird stuff that i sort of like), dieselboy’s “project:human” cd.
i’m feeling… hukaliciousy.
i’m hella diggin… books. -__-; and dieselboy. and apparently he is coming two times in september. i always miss the good stuff. -__-;

7:24 pm — huk i just went to pick up my film on the ave and i decided on the way there to stop by the bookstore… perhaps a dumb idea… okay, definitely a dumb idea because i ended up spending fifty bucks on books. -__-; it’s been a long time. -__- bought the book running with scissors bai augusten burroughs, and choke and fight club bai chuck palahniuk. bought the running with scissors book because they compared him to david sedaris, whom i love. so… yes. =) i’m crazy. must find time to read. perhaps at work, since i am working a decent amount more than usual this week. ^__~ all this book-buying / looking / browsing / reading makes me want to write a novel (again)… i used to write novels when i was little. haha. i think i could write a decent one. i think i shalt. everyone and their mothers better read it. one of these days, i shall. perhaps when i go home. who knows. sometime. fo shizzo. to tell you the truth i would like to go home as soon as school gets out but i feel it is too late? well actually you can really change southwest tickets whenever you want but i already have tickets to summmerlove and shit… then again not like that can’t be exchanged… BLAH! blah i say. well anyways, the augusten burroughs book was freaking hardback because paperback books don’t come out until like six to twelve months after the book comes out… and hardbacks are expensive so i’m going to read it in thirty days… if good, i keep… if bad, i return. -__-; wOo. (-__-)V i bet i will like it though. HUK. time to brainstorm for my book. T__~ and memorize my korean skit for tomorrow. it’s hard man… normally i can memorize skits really easy but since i don’t know half of what is being said, it is quite difficult. anywys, out of random, i am really excited for “summerlove”, actually. and “grooveside connection” too. i think as of late i’ve been really good with my only-go-to-the-parties-you-plan-on-and-no-more-than-that-ness. ^__^ wahOo ~

* song of the moment * - “hebi kexi” bai lin jiayi (mandarin). really good song…
* mood * - pretty good.

today was another typical day @ skool. dood, so many people have birthdaze this month! tomorrow i have to go with diana to the mall so that she can get her cartilage pierced… i wanna do that… but i think yoo have to be eighteen… so we’ll see in… nine months =T

after skool i had hella shiet to do today… i wanted to go to safeway @ first cuz i really was craving some marshmallows. but then i got lazy, decided i shouldn’t eat so many bad-for-your-health foods, and decided not to buy any. so i went to the post office. i swear, they all kno mee now cuz i go so much. it’s weird ~ all the people @ mai post office are chinese and speak mandarin. sometimes i jes wanna bust it out (mandarin) but then i think they’d think i was sorta weird? especially if they start speakin to mee in english and i randomly respond in mandarin. uh, yeah, weird.

after that i went to the library to borrow some books. dude, i had $9.60 in overdue library fines! can yoo believe that???? that’s HELLA money… dude, i could buy three pairs of mai taiwan shoes for that money! >P (yeah, thas rite, i bought two pairs of shoes in taiwan for three bucks each!) but yeah i borrowed this book called “flatland” which is about a colony of geometric shapes that use math rules in governing their society. it’s for a math project, not jes for fun =P but i think it sounds sort of interesting, actually =P well since we were reading this book about the l.a. riots in english, i thought it would be kewl if i borrowed some books to read on mai own, so i borrowed “joy luck club” bai amy tan… yeah, i kno, hella old, but i never actually read the book. i love the movie, but never read the book… and books are always better, so i decided to check it out. shewt, i jes thought of another book i shoulda borrowed… “bound feet and western dress”… i started it when i was going to l.a. but never finished it. gotta finish it sometime =T especially since i actually remember what the book was about and it was months and months ago. anyway, another book i borrowed is “monkey king” bai patricia chao… the main character of this book kind of reminds mee of maiself… only i’m not suicidal or in a mental institution, but some things are quite similar? so far i’ve read 100 pages… and it’s been two hours. not bad, not bad. i really miss reading. reading is so fun. i used to read like a book a day or every two daze, but then mai mom started getting mad @ mee for reading too much and not studying enough and then reading jes became a turn-off cuz i always got in trouble for it… and today i decided i’d start up on that hobby again cuz it’s mighty fun! anyway, i sit in front of a computer too much and it’s good to divide up mai uh… tym. man, all these things are gonna attribute to the slo deterioration of mai eyesight… >_<

anyways after that i went to church because i had to see if i could find a thing i left there on sunday… mai church is having a talent show in two weeks and i was supposed to bring the ticket and the money from ticket sales home but i totally forgot and left them @ church… dood, i’m such a friggin dumbass. when i went back today i couldn’t find them, so i’m hoping either someone else took them home or a pastor or someone picked it up… i’m so stupid sometimes. but luckily, there are people stupider than mee! tami sent mee this e-mail about all these stupid people stories… thought i’d share them cuz they’re mad funnie…

1) recently i went to mcdonald’s and saw on the menu that you can order 6, 9, or 12-piece chicken mcnuggets. when i asked for a half dozen nuggets, the teenager at the counter replied, “we don’t have a half dozen nuggets.”
“you don’t?” i replied.
“we only have 6, 9, or 12.”
“so i can’t order a half-dozen nuggets, but i can order six?”
“that’s right.”
so i shook my head and ordered six mcnuggets.

2) i was checking out the local foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. i picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed up. after the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider”, looking all over it for a bar code so she could scan it. not finding the bar code, she said to me, “do you know how much this is?”
i said to her, “i’ve changed my mind; i don’t think i’ll buy that today.”
she said “okay” and i paid her for the things and left. she had no clue as to what had just happened…

3) a lady @ work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. when inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the internet and they were asking for a credit card number, so she was using the atm “thingy”.

4) several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. one day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “i’m almost out of typiung paper. what do i do?”
“just use the copier machine paper,” the secretary told her. with that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier, and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.

5) my neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. one night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question : “i’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. do you guys have a fire downtown?”

6) i was sitting in my science class when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. my lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. i explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. needless to say, she was very disappointed.

7) police in radnor, pennsylvania, interrograted a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. the message, “he’s lying” was placed in the copier, and the police pressed copy whenever they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

har har…