inside the wonderful world of vee

i’m listening to… nothing. my brother’s playing SSX.
i’m feeling… okay, but a little bit of stomach not-good-feeling-ness…

conversation of the day (actually, an old one… ah, yes, miscommunication…!)
“so the gas station wouldn’t let us use their restroom, so we all had to pee in a bush.”
“yeah, sometimes if you have a big ass, they don’t let you use the restroom.”
“what? like i’m going to overflow the toilet or something?”
(it’s supposed to be, “yeah, sometimes if you don’t buy gas, they don’t let you use the restroom.”)

1:36 am — man, i still don’t have a ride back from the airport tomorrow *cries a river.

so today i went to san francisco with family and got a pair of pants, and there were these makeup sets that were 50% off, so we bought like five of them… i don’t really know why, but they were really really worth it… all this nail stuff and lipstick stuff and crap and lotion and blah, and only like $10 for the whole set or something

came home and met up with tomiko, claire, dahye (who i had to guilt-trip into hanging out with me :P), agnes, and phil [wu], and we went to oakland to eat soondooboo and go karaoke. i think all that korean food = indigestion (whatever that is), cause i feel like schiznack. the japanese music videos they had were fucking heelarious… =)

karaoke was alright… a little alcohol would have made it more than alright. X:

bugger… afterwards we went to a soju bang (just me, dahye, phil wu, and phil [hsieh])… and it was cool… phil and phil drank some ohbi (or something), and me and dahye watched, and we got slightly lost on the way home, but random turning on random streets managed to get us on the highway (instead of east oakland, thankfully). ah, yes, oakland, where security guards smoke weed with you in the middle of the street. =P

phil got me the new ak1200 cd… wOot! well, @ least i THINK it’s new, because i don’t have it, but then again, i don’t have any of his albums. it’s hella mellow, though, like ltj bukem or something. some songs are good… others are, meh.

gambatte.

i’m listening to… a-mei’s “fever” cd [mandarin].
i’m feeling… whatevers.

link of the day — phil nho’s church thing: http://webdisk.berkeley.edu/~justyi/fall%20conference%202002.mpg. heh. what an amusing boy. :T

11:17 pm — all i can say is… i want school to start. -__-; my parents came back from china today… got me a-mei’s new cd, elva’s new cd, and david tao’s new cd. so supposedly david’s cd was bad (so everyone says) but i actually LOVE it. on the other hand, elva’s was just alright and i don’t know what i think about a-mei’s yet. -__-; they have some really good imitations in china man. it looks 100% real… the booklet, the packaging, everything. the only thing that looks a little different is the cd and the fact that they put extra tracks from the artists’ other albums to make a full cd instead of keeping the same number of tracks there was originally. well, tis all. the eyeball is hurting.

mmm oh yeah and someone go watch better than ezra with me at the showbox on 10/13 for $20? or not. but yeah. >__<;

i’m listening to… me, phil [nho], phil [wu], phil [hsieh], dahye, and dave [lee]’s trip to nohrehbang last summer… HAHAHA jesus christ it’s so funny. songs as of now: me and dave singing “bulssuh yil nyun” bai brown eyes.
i’m feeling… quite quite amoozed.

11:44 pm — HAHAHA omigod this cd is so freaking funny. this nohrehbang that we go to sometimes burns your singing session on cd for you and gives it to you at the end… hahaha fucking great. hahaha. funny. i was playing counterstrike (which really i must say is not all that much fun on my uber uber uber uber laggy computer) while listening to this hehe… funny >__<;; anyways, first day of class was today. it was alright… not as great as i had hoped. no cute guys in my classes, the classes are not all that engaging, etc. etc. first one was intro to criminal justice and that was alright but the professor is kind of weird. second was chinese which i can tell is going to be hell. all the words are in simplified chinese which we haven’t learned the past two years; we’ve only learned traditional characters, so basically most people in the class can’t read shit. -__-; and then the teacher is odd. kind of seems like she can’t really speak chinese all that well. HAHA. and then we have an oral presentation every week. jesus christ. i cannot do those. -__-;; finally i have my communications class which i love already. the teacher is freaking hella funny and great. ^__^ ~ well… tis all. byebye ~ time to go study. =(

2:15 am — so now it is freaking late, and godamn me for thinking too much. i am a victim of insomnia. >__<; it’s no good… no good at all (obviously). man, i need to wake up early too because i have to study chinese. the teacher expects us to. -__-; sigh. i am going to quit my job at yunnie’s tomorrow if i have such confidence. i hope they will let me off ASAP… -__-; cause i really don’t want to work there any more. i am confident i can get a new job because after all i am pretty qualified… i’ve only had REAL jobs… like office jobs and what not. yunnie’s is the only run-of-the-mill (if i even use that right) job i have. applied just now for advertising designer job on the daily (again) because i really want that job and they keep posting ads for it at different times, shit. and then for this office job on the ave. can’t say i want that much, but you know, it will be better than yunnie’s, AND it is nine bucks an hour man ~ this whole job thing stresses me out so much you cannot even imagine. i HATE not knowing things for certain. i need things concrete. i hate having so many possibilities and not knowing which one is likely because anything goes. problems being: that i have all these concerts coming up and i’m afraid jobs will clash with such a thing, i can’t study with such long shifts, etc. etc. i’m down with jobs if it is short shifts everyday but freaking long shifts just kill me… because if i happen to have a lot of work that day i’m just basically fucked for the week because i stay up studying and then i sleep through classes the next day and the pattern repeats til it has time to correct itself. -__-; sigh. don’t know if i can sleep now.

you know what i decided? i guess deep down inside i am very old fashioned but i have this annoyance for guys who are as sensitive as girls are supposed to be. =X i don’t know why but it’s just annoying to me if guys are too desperate or sensitive and cry during chick flicks or something. jeejus. sigh*. first day of school and i’m already stressed as fuck. what is this madness. =( and jesus christ my messy ass room makes me sick because i can’t think cause it is so godamn messy… well mostly it is annoying because it is cluttered since i have so much little shit. and JESUS CHRIST i left all sorts of stuff at andrea’s apartment but i don’t have a car to pick it up and then i still don’t have my bank card and christ. oh yeah. i have no contact lens’ case so i am using eva’s solution and putting my contacts in shot glasses. how ghetto can you get man. for real. oh! and my first class is on the third floor… freaking… last year me and [kimchi-]john had class there too and everytime we got up there we were both all hella out of breath and shit -__-; sad day. haha. what’s more! i got locked out on my first day! =X like a freshman! huk ~ and then like six people who read my journal dropped off the face of the earth, i think. sad. =( sigh back to insomnianess… sigh.

oh yes. “sex and the city” is eva’s new obsession so i’ve been watching it too… strangely odd and interesting. =X can’t imagine being like those people eebus.

buhsuht hagosheepuh (^__^)V <~ inspiration for the new screename.

(xinlei’s response:)
i cant imagine vivian being ho-ey either. =) thanksgoodnesses.

i’m listening to… j-majik’s “drum’n'bass mix” cd… =) j-majik is so dope… =) aiyo, this is best elektronik cd i have =T or maybe aaron simpson’s volume 4… either way, best drum’n'bass cd ^__^
i’m feeling… fine.

2:34 am — okay, my brother has a weird picture of some girl he knows sleeping as our wallpaper. what the fuck. i don’t want that as our wallpaper! -__-;; sooo i’m trying to figure out how to sell my old cards (baseball cards, simpsons cards, nintendo cards, alf cards, marvel comic book cards, etc. etc. hahaha >P) and old comic books… ^__^ hopefully i can sell them… i’m pretty broke right now… well, not exactly broke, but i’ve been spending a lot of money as of late and i NEED to buy a new camera and i want to buy some other shit… like that =T i’ve even resorted to selling my old korean music cd’s and posters and ish… hehe. =X i should sell my korean kasoo signatures… they go for a lot of money hahaha =X i remember i sold kim dongwan from shinhwa’s signature (because i did not like him at all) and got like fifty bucks offa that shit man… craziness… korean music fans are crazy… well, i don’t know cause they might have changed these days since korean music is getting shitty… in my opinion anyways. maybe that’s just because i listen to a lot less of it now, though.

so anyways. yesterday when i came back my parents told me that they found a lot of the old novels and stories i wrote… shit jigga, i was good! the problem is, i don’t think my english has gotten too much better since like middle school… haha fucking sad… i was really good back then (i believe), but now my english just sort of sucks yo… maybe it’s cause i don’t talk properly enough or something. i am not quite sure. man, it would be so dope to be able to publish a book ^__^ i think if i am so capable, i would love to do that on my spare time when i am older. half the stuff i wrote when i was little i don’t even remember writing though… really weird. some of that shit is just straight-up bizarre haha. some imagination, i guess. i couldn’t imagine being a novel writer for a living though. trying to come up with new, original ideas for books must be freaking difficult. =T

anyways, today was just basically a normal day to start with… just lazed around the house… i have so much ish i want to get done so as usual… blah. i guess i have too many things i want to do and i only get around to like what… 1/5th of them? maybe? sad day =T so… me, dahye, dave [lee], and phil [wu] went down to milpitas (as usual). we still do the same ol shit. haha. guess it will never change, eh? we say it’s boring, but in actuality, it’s boring no matter where you go, i think. you do the same ol ish everywhere. anyways. phil just got back from japan yesterday… that lucky ass. i want to go. sort of. yeah, i do. even though my japanese sucks ass. =X anyways, went down south, got some boba, played some pool, and i somehow (wrongingly) convinced the kids to rent mulholland drive… =X hahahaha… it made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. =_= and ON TOP OF THAT, it was SLOW AS FUCK. jesus christ… it was so boring and weird and boring and had lesbian scenes which were weird and had a freaky dirty-looking homeless guy and this old couple who looked too happy like they were on uppers or something and it was just boring and weird and didn’t make sense at all. >__< dahye wants to watch it again tomorrow and see if we understand… perhaps i shalt, but i must talk with eva and sherry first since they are the only individuals i know of who have seen the god-forsaken thing. I AM SO SORRY TO DAHYE, PHIL, AND DAVE! =X haha… sorry for wasting (nearly) three hours of your precious lives =X hehe. night.

(fil’s response:)
Actually, i read some message boards on the movie and it makes sense now. Kinda. Well more than after finishing watching the movie. It scares me that people had the time to think of how the story went.

* song of the moment * - “wasting my time” bai default [english]
* mood * - fine

11:39 am — aish, i’m bad. this morning i went to my first class and that’s it… -__-;; compsci lecture… whee ~ so fun. not. oh well, though. i should have gone to my other classes… i was going to come home and nap instead but of course i didn’t. instead i played online. go to my AA page people (ShortyVi). i made it beautiful! ^__^ fauk… i just spent like 100-something dollars online buying shiet. bought four cd’s from yesasia.com (jtl 1, brown eyes 1, grace 1, and a naying cd) and boots, a backpack, and a sweatshirt from pacsun.com ~ aish. yesasia.com has expensive ass shipping and handling. pacsun’s is okay though - especially since what they’re mailing is so big and heavy ^__^; whee ~ hehe. hopefully everything fits. i’m excitededed! =)

anyways, yesterday… i went to all my classes (omigod!) and that was exciting. hmmm then afterwards i just went home, vegged around, and then josh visited and i treated him to dinner (technically). i paid with my card which is pre-paid money, so it’s not really money… hehe. yeah… chol went to dinner too and he was hella making fun of me in a perverted way because i said “you know what i like to touch when i’m rolling?” and i paused a second and yeah… it all went downhill from there. what i WAS going to say was “frosty plastic paper” but… -__-;; hmm then i went home briefly to pick up money to give to josh so that him and chol can go buy equality tickets today and went to get some groceries.

then i went home again for like two seconds and then went over to richard and tony’s because richard and tk were watching pearl harbor… man, i’m at their dorm too much. i should find somewhere new to go. -__-; watched like forty-five minutes of the movie… WHAT THE FUK… that movie is fukin retarded. ben affleck and nurse meet for like ten seconds and they’re in love? WTF?! -__-;; sooo retarded. oh well. i kept making comments while they were just trying to watch the movie… oOpsies… it just slightly irritated mee, tho! -__-; but it was kinda funnie… i think that’s cool that they show the funnie parts of life and not that everything was all serious. did that make sense? i had to leave early to go to a lil sis meeting… so i walked there with eva… WhOoPiE… it was okay… turned out better than i thought it would be. ^__^; guess i can’t say much more than that. psh. frickin down-lowness. hehe. mmm and then i went back to tony and richard’s because i left mai keys there… yeah, i’m retarded -__-; ended up staying like a frickin hour playing video games with (mainly) tony… again. frickin a (frickin c!) mee bringing video games to college is going to be the cause of mai delinquency… -__-; good thing it’s not in mai room, or it’d never end. oh well. we were thoroughly amazed because richard beat tony in puzzlefighter and he plays it soooo slow… too much dropping makes retarded kids… -__-;; kakaka.

oh… yes… if yoo guys like drum n’ bass, download “hybrid” bai konflict ^^ it’s faukin good.

* song of the moment * - “??” bai yangpa featuring kim johan [korean]… actually i knoe the title but i’m too lazy to look it up. it’s on her second album though. one of the first korean songs i heard haha. ehh i was craving korean music so i dug some old ish out of mai old cd’s… this is SUCH an old mix cd… damn… the quality of all the songs is hella bad cuz it’s from when i first started listening to music and mp3’s weren’t all that common… and everyone went to zandd.com for music… blahblah… ah, memories… =T
* mood * - fine

1:30 am - ehhh after going nerbing tonight (nohrehbang, for those of you who don’t know), i came home and had this desire to watch my old korean videos… so i dug out some of them and watched old school h.o.t. from their second jib… back when kang ta was super cute =) i’m such a dork… sigh… anyways. today i didn’t really do anything until dave [lee] came over at night… i don’t really think i need to entertain him because he’s here a lot, so i didn’t bother. so he just sat around watching me play minesweeper and chat on the computer and watching my brother play video games. hehe. then we went to eat dinner with some people whom i am too lazy to name at mimi’s cafe… i had this fattening pasta stuff. ugh. so much for the three pounds i lost these past couple of days… oh well. i guess. afterwards everyone else went home but dave wanted to go to the korean market so me, him, phil [wu], and phil [hsieh] went to hanguk market but it was just closing when we got there (godammit it was 9 pm!!) and then we went to kyopo market but it was already closed… so we ended up going to this japanese / korean market that everyone else was going to too since the other two were closed. hehe. i got a pack of 8 melon bars, these chelsea candies (which are the SHIT!), and jahdu candy… yummie! it’s so cheap!! i need to go to korean markets more. they’re so cheap puhaha. ^__^ that’s what is good about them but i never really get the chance to go because they are farther away. anyways, yeah, we ended up going to nohrehbang but on that street there are three nohrehbangs… of which only ONE is GOOD. the other two are pretty ghetto. see, but the good one only has korean songs and REALLY old english and chinese songs, so we went to the less ghetto of the two… where they told us that their korean music was outdated so we went to the most ghetto one… and had a horrible nohrehbang experience. apparently, we didn’t even stay for an hour and they still charged us for an hour too. talk about bad luck. and we were so disappointed with the place that we forgot we hadn’t been there for an hour too! aish. cost eight bucks but it was okay since phil [hsieh] paid for my dinner! thanks phil! =)

anyways. i ended up having to eat four melon bars because they were going to melt and the guys each ate one each (phil wu ate two), but they wouldn’t eat anymore. those bastards. and one jahdu candy… and one butterscotch candy… and then guess what? i left the jahdu and butterscotch candies in dave’s car! =( i’m so retarded! ugh! now i’m never going to have them again *cry… i’m so sad. agh. stupid. oh well. guess i will go sometime. too bad i have very few korean people left to drag with me down there. hehe. oh yeah… haha. on the way back… the funniest thing happened. i was talking about how i had to pee in a bush on the way back from the rave a couple days ago and phil [hsieh] was like… “why didn’t you go into the bathroom?” and i said “because they wouldn’t let me.” and then he responded with “it was probably because you have a big ass.” (that’s what everyone heard) and i was like… “uh, well it’s not like i would overflow the toilet.” haha. then phil [hsieh] was all confused and then we all found out that phil had actually said, “it was probably because you didn’t buy gas.” and it was the funniest freaking thing… we just started listening to “yo!” by shinhwa and the song was almost over and we were still laughing. it was sooo funny… one of the funniest moments ever. so many funny moments with these guys. =) well, that’s about it. bai! by the way, i love kim johan! and i miss sechskies =(

* song of the moment * - “track 6″ bai one voice offa their “sincerely yours” album [english].
* mood * - quite lovely.

11:25 PM — i jes got home a little bit ago from jeremy’s frend mehrad’s house / drinking party. it was frightening cuz when we were going into mehrad’s house he jes pointed @ mee and was like, “yur vivian.” i was like… “how did yoo kno?!?!” scariee hehe. blah. it’s sooo boring if yoo dun drink. for mee anyways, since i only knew like five people. er… yeah i knew six people. technically seven. hmmm and then allen [chang] came when i was leaving so that would technically be eight. =P okay, fine, that’s not very few i guess. i wasn’t gonna drink @ first but then i tried some of that smirnoff ice stuff… and it is actually good… so yeah, i drank almost a bottle of that stuff [mooched offa phil [wu] who paid for it! yay… thanks philly wu bean ^_^ cuz i’m broke as hell. ah, well. mehrad’s parents are interesting. they offer to buy their kids alcohol for senior ball and stuff. and they knew they were having a drinking party tonight and they didn’t really care. quite interesting. i think that is koo tho… i think more parents should be like that. cuz they jes took the keys from everyone to make sure that they didn’t drive home… and if that’s the case, then i don’t think it really matters if they drink… yah mon. i wish i coulda stayed longer tho. i wanted to see some drunk people. MAN! hehe. oh well… mai curfew finally moved back to 11:00 PM!!! wahOo! okay, fine, that’s not that great, but still… better than 10:00 PM like i had before… and better also than 10:10 PM ^^* [only certain people would understand that]

anyways, earlier today all the young ppo from our church like jOody, gloria, dave [liu], etc. took mee, sherry, and tin-win out to lunch @ pasta primavera. hahaha i was retarded… i drove to san ramon earlier that morning to open a checking account @ washington mutual with mai mom… and then we thought it was the pasta primavera in san ramon and i couldn’t find it and ended up circling around for a while and then sherry met mee @ the supermarket there and then she realized it was the pasta primavera in dublin. sooo… we drove to dublin and both of us were unsure of where it was exactly and then i kind of got lost again and sherry had to find mee again and take mee there. god, it sure sucks to suck with directions puahaha. so yeah we ate there and it was good. they’re nice ^_^

after that i went with sherry to the dublin target for a bit cuz she wanted to buy plates and silverware and shit for college… uhm… yeah. so we did that and then i went over to jeremy’s house and iono where sherry went… but i was @ jeremy’s house for like 4 hours jes burning cd’s and stuff. got the one voice “sincerely yours” album, the new usher “8701″ album [that didn’t burn correctly cuz the last 10 seconds or so of every song are cut off], hmmm some freestyle mix, and uhh… mai david tao cd!!! HE FINALLY GAVE IT BACK TO MEE!! he’s had it for over a year! omg, i was sooo amazed hehehe. i was like “wow. wooooow. wow!!!” for the longest time hehehehe. too bad he considers that mai birthday present, but thas besides the point -_- doh and i made him scan pics for mee but i jes checked mai e-mail and i haven’t gotten it so i bet he wrote the wrong e-mail addy. DOH. double doh. well yeah then his frend andrew came over and then i left to go to phil’s house. man, mai mom thinks i am weird cuz i am hanging out with guys so much lately [rather, the guys that i stalk]. hehe. funnie. when i was @ jeremy’s she called mee and i was like, “i’m @ jeremy’s house” and she’s like “jes yoo and jeremy?? where’s sherry? tin-win?? eh??” psycho. hrm… @ phil’s house i jes sat around and ate dinner and jason came in a while and we jes watched tv… watched a lotta “friends”. i can’t believe phil doesn’t like that show. it’s so hilarious. after that we went to jason’s frendz house… cuz jason owes him money or some crap. yah, he dropped off money and then i was being bored to death cuz they were jes sitting there talking about cars and racing and blah… a little boring. i was dying. oh well. we left after a bit cuz jason saw how bored we [or rather, i?] was and yeah… we went to get nai cha — well, i watched them get nai cha and drink it — and then we went to mehrad’s… tin-win was there… so was virginia… blahblah. okay. leaving =)

2:31 AM — talking to a drunken phil wu online. hahahah. i’m taking advantage of his drunkeness and trying to beat him @ different online games ^^* the sad part? he’s still managing to beat mee -_-

(fil’s response:)
For the record, I was not drunk. Buzzed, but not drunk. Virginia was drunk. Jeremy was fucked up.

and i STILL WHOOPED YOU IN CHESS MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

* song of the moment * - “where the party @” bai jagged edge [english]… actually i am not listening to it but it was the last song i heard on the way home, so it’s stuck in mai head…
* mood * - alright, i guess =T

9:19 PM — hola hola… well a lot of… odd stuff happened today… that’s all i can say o.O; blahblah. anyways in the morning i woke up go to ‘interview’ for a job @ an optometrist’s office, only it wasn’t even an interview — they just told mee what i needed to do for the job. ODD. so basically i got the job… tomorrow is mai first day. maybe yur wondering, “oh i thought yoo jes got another job?” yeah, but the bastards @ the other company never bothered to call mee or anything so whatever, i’m not gonna bother. if they do happen to call mee, that’s cool too cuz i make mai own hours @ the optometrist’s office. ^_^ all i do is data entry… but the lady there… man, she’s hella psycho! her clothes don’t match, her english is whack… orgh. <~ [orgh?]

anyways after that little… journey, i went to dahye’s house and just hung out for a little while… watched half of “vertical limit”. i lurv that movie ^_^ it’s awesome. and chris o’donnell [robin from batman] is kyoot — well, not in that movie, but still! teehee. om, after a bit phil [wu], fontaine, and xinlei showed up and after a reallllllly long wait, claire showed up. hence her nickname, “quick one”. >P just joking claire! urgh there are these really loud people outside mai house laughing and talking right now. i HATE loud people. just kidding. joke, joke? weird… the loud people are talking about taiwan randomly and they’re white o.O; perhaps i heard wrong. perhaps.

okay, so then we decided to go to the hayward noh-reh-bang. except… we got there @ around 3 and the place didn’t fukin open til 7!!!! so we called up phil [hsieh], phil [nho], and phil nho’s cousin eddie and we asked them what they wanted to do [since they were supposed to meet us @ the hayward nerb but it was closed]. soo… they asked, “why don’t we go to nerb in oakland??” the thing is that there’s two karaoke places in oakland, and they’re both on telegraph… one of them, musicbox, has everything… chinese, korean, japanese, english, whatever. the other place, which was friggin called NRB [how whack is that??] had pretty much only korean and english songs… blah. btw, i scared everyone with mai driving on the way there… better on the way back, but on the way there i was starting to go delirious and stuff… got a little crajee. wonder why? here’s a step-bai-step replay of our journey along the street of telegraph.

- made a left onto telegraph and drove down
- saw koko house and took it as a sign that we were going in the right direction
- soon, fil and i stupidly agreed that, “hey, this doesn’t look familiar.”
- turned around and drove down the other direction
- called fil^2 and eddie to tell them to meet us @ koko house cuz we were lost
- looked around and realized that, “hey, we’re @ the berkeley campus already.”
- tried to get back to telegraph, but with berkeley and its friggin one-way streets, it took a long while
- were excited that one right turn would lead us back on telegraph when it led us to a parking lot and a dead end road
- told fil^2 and eddie just to meet us @ musicbox since we knew where it was now
- drove back the way we came, concluding that musicbox HAD to be in that direction
- saw musicbox… parked down the street from it cuz there was no parking.
- walked the length of a football field to musicbox to discover that “hey, it’s not open yet.”
- waited for the other phil^2 and eddie to meet up with us
- they came and suggested that we go to nrb instead
- we went to nrb to discover that it wasn’t open til 6 PM either
- drove back to koko house to eat and watch the guys drink soju
- went BACK the other direction to nrb to… karaoke… oh yeah, was that the point of the day?

finally we karaoked… twas quite… entertaining? from the nose down, eddie looks like a twin of yoo seungjun. interesting. he dances like yoo seungjun too, sorta. well i guess it was fun… even tho it was expensive! well it was eight bucks each but most of us ended up paying ten for some reason. odd. i don’t kno why i want to karaoke so much… every time i want to go, after i go, i wonder why i even wanted to go in the first place? i guess it is fun, but still… iono. fil, was this entertaining enough of an entry for yoo? ^_^
(fil’s response:)
QUITE.
Ur driving has disturbed me. But I guess I’m used to it because of Jason, Dom, Sherry, etc.

* song of the moment * - “always together” bai fly to the sky [korean].
* mood * - good.

i gotta go pee. anyways today i went to the mall with xinlei, brian, fontaine, and richard. gee, that was fun… NOT. i HATE going to the mall and buying nothing. i used to be fine with that, but recently i’ve turned into a shopaholic and i just have to buy buy buy or i feel discontent with maiself… or SOMETHING. horrid. see? that’s what happens when i spend mai own money and not mai parents’. before mai parents would give mee money so i would be hella “sheng” <~ um… cheap? unwasteful? but when i use mai own bank accounts’ money, i spend like a hundred dollars every week. i guess also cuz i go out now more than i did before, but still. it’s muy bad. and NOW… i have a credit card. wahaha — it’s the end of the world.

oOo i’m so mad… i could have bought the etnies i want @ zumiez cuz the girl didn’t kno how much they cost [those shoes usually go for $80], so she was gonna sell them to mee for $50 or $60… fukin confOozed girl. sucks tho, cuz i didn’t have cash and i didn’t want to use the credit card. arrr. =( plus i didn’t really want those shoes in baby blue and that was the only color they had… so maybe it’s a good thing i didn’t buy them *or @ least that’s what i’ll keep telling maiself! argh, keep forgetting to go buy snowboarding clothes. i wanted to go because it’s summer and they’ll be cheap but i keep forgetting. -_-;

right now i am sort of addicted to the fly to the sky 2 right now… iono why. =P yoo kno what i wanna buy? hella cd’s. i wanna buy an assia cd, the googoo dolls’ cd with “black balloon”, “iris”, and all that good stuff, freya lin’s second album, elva xiao’s second album, uptown’s history album, j’s third album, and shinhwa’s fourth album. ack the only desire i’ve fulfilled is the lifehouse album i’m getting from xinlei and the hirai ken album that tomiko is burning for mee! thanks yoo two!

i am such a nerd when it comes to languages… i actually teach maiself that shit. i taught maiself 95% of the chinese i kno [how to read and write], i’m teaching maiself hiragana and katakana, and 100% of the korean reading and writing i taught maiself too. i’m planning on buying a book to teach maiself korean this coming fall so i can start from korean 311 [second year] instead of 301 [first year]. we’ll see how well that works out, tho >P i guess computer languages count too? since i taught maiself html. yay. the only language i learned that i really barely kno anything for is japanese, but i blame that on fil cuz since we took that class together, he was there to distract mee. >P

i think i want to bring a laptop to udubb instead of a pc. but we have so many leftover pc’s sittin around and iono if we have any leftover laptops… hmmm… note to self — ask dad about laptops. i dun like laptop screens but they are better for your wrists and they’re easier to carry around [especially since i am going to skool so far away]. and if i get a laptop i can bring it to sherry’s house easily for her to install her many programs for mee [namely, photoshop and microsoft office, hehehe].

oh yeah i might get a job because catherine’s office is looking for people for word-processing… since i type crajee fast [too much time on the computer]. the pay is GOOD. $11-$18. =D

hahaha guys are so stupid. read:
jared : so u never tried any spam?
mee : no
jared : its so good. ur gonna eat it
mee : no
jared : ur gonna thank me
mee : or hate u
jared : LOL. i’m gonna laugh so hard if u gag or something
mee : O what’s WITH guys sheesh… this guy *ahem, joe said for some reason he wanted mee to trip and then during senior ball i was comin off this buss thing and i helluv slipped off the 2nd to last step and missed the last one and fell :O ouch. and he was helluv laughing. stupid guys.

and here’s another STUPID GUY mystery we’re talking about — why do the majority of them think bisexual girls are hot and cool but bisexual guys are jes gross?? godammit, stupid guys.

i need to get a life… but even if i got a life, i wouldn’t be doing much. right now hanging out with frendz consists mostly of going to play pool, going to the arcade, going to noh-reh-bang, sitting around @ people’s houses, eating too much, and watching too many movies. there really is little else to do… for mee anyways. because of that, i have resorted to such forms of entertainment as i will mention below. if yoo have a fast connection and yoo can support immense flashness, go to http://www.geocities.com/fobionaire/ and play their fobbish who wants to be a millionare. hahaha. it’s funnie that the girl helper is a cantonese student named flower bridge… i guess only certain people who knew some cantonese would understand that. >P i got 32,000 on the first try and a million on the second… with the help of aberoonie ^_^. since he’s an asian studies major and all, i figured he would kno the one question about which chinese dynasty did NOT exist.

mai next major event in the last two hours is this : http://www.lambdathetadelta.com/vibe/vibe2.html … some fraternaties and sororities in so-cal (one of which george belongs to) had a dance competition… hahaha some of them are really funnie (like the first one). i have to finish watching after i get speakers hooked up to this computer. some of these are really good [mai fave is the culture shock one… but i didn’t watch them all]. it suprises mee that it seems like all of them can dance! O_o. oh yeah, make sure yoo watch the break-dancing one bai the westcoast rockers and the budweiser penguins… the first “b-girl” who comes out in the white is helluv hilarious… yoo can totally tell she thinks she’s the shit [and bai the way the others are acting, yoo kno she is being serious] but it hella looks like she dunno what she is doing and that she is jes fucking around. hahaha. funnie shiet >P i used to want to learn how to break… back when fil still… broke [hahaha]. he promised he’d teach mee and then when i wanted to learn he was too lajee, and vice versa. so needless to say, we never got around to it. darn. if i had learned i could CLAIM i knew how to dance… since i have no idea how to now >P

* song of the moment * - “i believe in you” bai joe and n’sync [english]. i friggin LOVE the lyriks to this song… if i could find a guy that these lyriks held tru for, i’d be set. hmm… maybe.
* mood * - i’m not really any mood. i’m STILL jealous, tho. -_-;

i fell asleep during church today. urrrr. and stupid fil took a picture of mee sleeping. double urrrr.

again, the first thing i saw today when i got back from church was an e-mail from claire telling mee that godammit, yesterday she met fly to the sky AGAIN, and not only them, but shin-fucking-hwa also. i’m so… AGH!! i want to scream. actually i DID scream outloud while i was reading her e-mail. a squeal of jealousy. hrmph. @ least she got mee an autograph from brian from fly to the sky, sean from jinusean, and minwoo from shinhwa now… minwoo and brian being two of mai favorite gasoo deul in the industry [next to eun jiwon]. so yes, i guess i am definitely happy. but sad. but happy. but jealous. *sigh. oh well. mee and mai bad luck prevails…? godammit, if it’s the karma thing, i must be fucking evil or something!! i swear that i am the spawn of satan or an equivalent. hum, maybe too much devil’s advocate [sherry came over again today and since she left early yesterday she decided to finish the movie today… so i basically watched it twice] for mee. *sigh. i think this is the most jealous i’ve ever been in mai life. i dunno i don’t even think it is really jealousy because even if i HAD met them, it would be kewl, but not anything that would be life-altering [i think?]. i think it is more like regret… like… that could have and SHOULD have been mine too but since i am cursed and doomed, it’s not. urgh. speaking of mee and mai doomed self, i was supposed to go with sherry to berkeley tomorrow, but once again i do not have the car [i barely ever do], so i guess i will be staying @ home… possibly.

anyways mee and sherry were going to play tennis today but we got lajee and ditched fil, joanna, and tin-win @ the park. eeeheehee. i bet they had fun [flying a kite], tho. instead mee, sherry, and jeanette went to sherry’s house to help jeanette make a collage thing for her mom’s birthday… it was a giant collage she put in a 16″ x 20″ frame. @ first i wasn’t sure if it’d look too good but it turned out quite wonderful actually *clapping for maiself and for jeanette*.

mee : i have concluded that i am going to stop giving a rat’s ass about guys.
all the guys : hurray!
mee : i mean, until i get into college anyways.
all the guys : aww, dammit *grumble grumble.

i don’t want to bother with them right now because it seems like when i don’t have a guy [like now], i want one, but when i do have one, i don’t want one. i guess i just want the type of guy who i don’t have to call all the time and who would call mee [ahaha -_-;] and the kind that could do just dandy going weeks without seeing mee. i guess. maybe that is just because i haven’t met anyone i REALLY like yet… perhaps if i did, i would be clingy as hell. people always ask mee what kinda guys i like. yoo kno, i’m not even sure. but the only thing i do kno is that i like independent, funnie, unique guys. and the christian bit seems to be nice. it’s not the religion bit that is important to mee - it just seems that christian guys are… nicer. iono. stereotyping… -_-;;

and another thing i don’t understand… when yoo are just DATING someone, that means no commitment, right? and when yoo do want commitment, the person turns into your boifrend or girlfrend? then what is the point of dating one person exclusively? isn’t that commitment too? then why not just make that person yur boifrend or girlfrend? I DUN GET IT -_- someone please explain. if yoo can. i am relationship-deprived… thank god.