inside the wonderful world of vee

i’m listening to… — “11 am” bai incubus [rock], “hate every beautiful day” bai sugarcult [rock], “i don’t wanna go on” bai innerlude [r&b], “i’m sorry” bai tyrese [r&b], “shallow” bai trustcompany [rock], “hollow” bai a perfect circle [rock], “all you wanted” bai michelle branch [rock], “sign of love” bai ses [japanese]
i’m feeling… O_o;
i’m hella diggin… “hate every beautiful day” bai sugarcult, “remember the days” bai nelly furtado.

2:o5 am — huk i must awake in six hours to take the long three-hour journey to the gorge in george (hahahaha), wa… for MOTHERFUCKING WARPED TOUR! i’m so stoked… i can’t wait to get away mannnnn and just listen to some good freaking music. too bad i’m not THAT much into punk… if it were like… drum’n'bass or other kinds of rock or something, i’d be more excited, but… whatevers… it’s still good. i do not know if i am sleeping over tomorrow night yet, but we shalt see. a lot of people are camping out at the gorge… i guess that’s just what they do? i wish i could go to gorge to see tiesto, but whatevers… it dost not matter… -__- huk… i think music is the one / only thing that cannot let me down since there’s so godamm much of it >__< i like quantity, not quality. heh. well for most things. like music. and clothes. ^__^ actually i really want to go raving, but that’s not going to happen until next weekend. i’ll manage. -__- i downloaded heckuvs goot vocal trance today… MOSTLY good anyways. =T some really have lyriks that are waaaay too cornballish though… but i guess a lot of people don’t really care about lyriks, so whatevers, i guess.

anyways, i just went to school and worked today. literally. oh, i opened new bank accounts too. wOoha. -__-;; hmmm yeah. nothing else. went rollerblading at greenlake yesterday. twas fun. i miss rollerblading. and biking. and being a little kid. -__- although some would argue otherwise. but that is besides the point.

okay so about my shrooming experience huk… honestly, i thought it was so bomb but i think i had the most fun out of everyone (and i took less than everyone too). it’s just spiff because you percieve things so differently and you think about things differently. it’s kind of hard to explain but it seems like everyone talks / thinks really artistically even if they really could care less about that kinda ish. like… colors look really intense. we kept talking about the colors red and green because they stood out sooo much… red especially… especially when we went to park late at night it seemed like the only colors that were visible were red from cigarettes or the sky, or what not… it was just weird!! and it’s sooo easy to get freaked out… just mere suggestion of things freaked me out -__- didn’t really HALLUCINATE though persay… only things i hallucinated was i thought bo said he wanted to go to bellevue to drive around when he didn’t say that… and i thought this 7-11 or gas station or something had its doors open for renovation but it was like three in the morning so that’s not really very logical. we went to a bunch of parks… and it’s cool because when you go down hills and stuff it seems like your going down forever… and then we went to this park at like 4 am and there was a train passing by and it was soooooo intense… >__< and it was a beach there and the view was just freaking amazing man… haha… but it’s weird because everything looks so godamm fake… trees look fake… the water and ocean and stuff just looks drawn… or like… computer-animated on one of those 3d programs… seriously… O_o; quite the strange. haha and we saw these logs sticking out of the ground… and they looked like stick-figure people with their torsos stuck in the ground… hmm it’s hard to explain but if you saw what we saw it woulda been funny. oh yeah and then this random guy came out and shone a flashlight at us after we saw the train saying that he and a group of people were camping there and we were too loud… and we were quite proud that we were louder than a train… hahaha. and then i guess we kept making noise so like four people came out and shone flashlights at us… but i think i hallucinated that because i said there was a bunch of people and bo said there was only one, i think. O_o;; oh well. oh well probably won’t do it for a longass time. it’s soooo impossible to go to sleep after doing it man… your mind just keeps thinking and thinking… it’s like when you think you’re asleep but you’re really not. sucketh pOop. if i can manage… i’m going to lay off drugs for a while. i think it’s a good point to stop… since i just tried another hardcore drug… -__- god… i don’t know what i am doing man. someone smack me. sorry. i think this newfound-freedom is getting to my retarded head.

oh. and the reason we tried in the first place is because we were at ballard and they wouldn’t let us in (MAN AND AARON SIMPSON WAS SPINNING THE BOMBEST DRUM’N'BASS TOO! >__<) because they had problems with liquor liscense again and people under 21 couldn’t go in… so… we were chillin in the parking lot… me being the only sober one at the time… so everyone else took a bajillion years to decide -__-;; and we waited so long some guy just came up to us and offered us. HUK! >__<

anyways. man my room is soooo freaking hot but i can’t turn on fan cause my roommate is sleeping… since my fan sounds like a godamn lawmower… so loud. stupid PoS. i do not understand man… our room is always like ten degrees hotter than outside… freaking you open the door and feel the heatwave… no joke!!! oh well. WARPED TOUR HERE I COME! hope there are some hawt asian skater boys… huk huk… since it doesn’t matter anyway. -__- i need a godamn camera, since i broke mine… ugh… now it’s just like a fancy disposable camera that is not disposable since the damn zOom doesn’t work anymore. na neun pabo ya… in more ways than one.

i’m listening to… — “three’s a charm” bai the starting line [punk], “in your eyes” bai sylver [??], “stuck in america” bai sugarcult [punk], “peel” bai 41 down [rock], “without you here” bai finch [rock]
i’m feeling…
i’m hella diggin… “why” bai glamma kid.

1:25 pm — dude… so looks like i have a good / great chance of going to vans warped tour at the gorge this saturday… heck yessssss i say. i’m either going to go with lingo or jina i thinks… motherfucking wOoha!! the lists of artists coming to the gorge is here… i want to see these people (in order): finch, sugarcult, mxpx, the starting line, midtown, newfound glory… and of course… the yummie white rocker boys that will be around muhaha ^__^ white rocker / skater boys with piercings and skater boys make me swOon… for real… haha… -__-;; my ideal superficial guy is asian skater boy with piercings and skater clothes lol… -__-; i thought washington would have some but i’ve not found but a few whom are not of interest to me. oh well. dost not matter. ^__^ wOoha… i’m excited. question: how come so many punk songs are so short? tis odd. oh well. i hope that things work out… -__-; i am interested in seeing this the gorge… and i’ve been craving a rock concert for so long… finally the opportunity has (possibly) arised! ^__^ okay anyways. these people who sign my guestbook on asianavenue are pissing me off mannnng. this one guy wrote this: “nice page ya got hern like wat ya doin wit nah i mean i was jes krussin by so i thought wat da hell it onlee b nice if i was ta sign ur page so ya wen ya hab dat precious i would appericate if ya kum by mines n leab ya mark ite well im get out of hern wun”… what a mutherfucking dumbass dude… it’s HERE, not HERN… what the fuck is a hern?! reminds me of a motherfucking hernia or something. dumbass. >__<

so anyways, after school me and amykchung went to look at some art exhibits they have up around uw… because it’s like summer arts show week or something (ehhh i don’t know what it is exactly). but yeah… it was interesting. ^__^ i want to take an art class… HUK! and i want to go to yoko ono museum… -__-;

10:56 pm — eh just got back from someone’s house… some starcraft gathering thing. it was whatevers. i… am going to go to ballard and watch aaron simpson spin… better be good… blah… gayness. fuck it all, i say!

4:41 am — OH MY FUCKING GOD. okay so… um blah huk i cannot make sense out of my head right now, but i’m going to type a motherfucking novel anyways. dude… me, bo, josh, cheryl, seungbum tried shrooms tonight… motherFUCKINGwow dude. i feel like shit at this very moment but WOW. wow wow wow. lights look(ed) so fucking bright dude it’s craziness… and everything is so weird… it’s not like really like shit pops out at you but everything just looks so mutherfucking different… it is SO trippy… wow. we went to gasworks and then some other park… and there was a train passing by… SO INTENSE… it’s so trippy… WOW… -__-; i can only say WOW. WOW dude. i really like. bo and seung didn’t really feel it until late but WOW i say WOW WOW WOW i enjoy it a motherfucking lot. -__-;; okay um… i don’t even know how to describe tonight in words… honestly it is nothing like i have ever felt dude… it’s not horribly visually stimulating like… shit doesn’t pop out at you and shit but weird life-activities just TRIP YOU THE FUCK OUT. more details later when i can think more clearly. i just cannot fucking believe dude.

(note later: god, i sound like an idiot… -__-;) but it was so wow. =P

i’m listening to… — “saints and sailors” bai dashboard confessional [emo], “the best deceptions” bai dashboard confessional [emo]
i’m feeling… eh.
i’m hella diggin… “in your eyes” bai sylver and dashboard confessional.

i’m listening to… — “a plain morning” bai dashboard confessional [rock], “thought a lot” bai arthur [rock], “the messiah” bai kemal + rob data [drum’n'bass]
i’m feeling… tired.
i’m hella diggin… nature.

8:00 pm — haha. interesting day… woke up at six am by a call from my human-alarm-clock amykchung. ^__^ i lava my alarm clock… it calls at whatever time intervals i want it to… muahaha. one-of-a-kind. anyways, studied for korean midterm for two hours… and then suejung randomly called because she was on-campus so i met up with her for like ten minutes… twas nifty, although not long enough of a time. oh well. -__-;; the midterm was pretty easy… i really think i will do well this quarter >__< after class (really long and boring class), me, amykchung, hana, melissa, tu-hyuk, eric (who looks like my cousin joe), sun, and jonny went to hosoonyi’s and we all (pretty much) ate sOondOobOo… aht, yum. ^__^ afterwards we walked around at the next-door yunnie’s but then… no one ordered anything so we just left -__-;; embarrassing. i guess. it dost not matter, though. ^__^ huk… then me, sun, melissa, and jonny went to the wac (waterfront activites center) and rented canoes… so of course melissa and jonny were in same canoe so once again me and sun were paddling like crazy kids who were pretty much twirling around in circles. we are definitely not paddle-and-steering-saavy. >__< sad day. i really wish i had a camera with me because it was so nifty… >__< hella close to all these ducks and there were these three baby ducks… SO CUTE! and hella close to dragonflies… we saw a bunch of dragonflies mating… haha >__< and there was this one part where the water was so so so black so the reflection of the trees was freaking perfect… like looking into a mirror… it was so cool >__< wish i had a camera. speaking of which, i need to purchase a new one. ugh. -__-; i’m so godamm tired and sleepy mannnng… only got three hours of sleep last night because i was studying. sucketh much butt. -__-; i’m so drained of energy right now and do not really have the time to take a nap. sucks… sucks, i tell you. and my shoulders are sore! -__-;; sad day. -__-;;; geuraesuh! afterwards… me, jonny, and sun went to jonny’s apartment and once again i skooled them in capcom vs. snk… okay, okay, that’s straight-up BS, but i beat them a couple of times… and sun was getting irked because i was talking on the phone with jeanette and i beat him hahaha ^__^ man. video games sure are fun. >__<

7:30 am — okay so i smoked last night because i wanted to watch “alice in wonderland” high and we didn’t even watch it. ugh… ugh, i say. man, yesterday was mad depressing… -__-;; watched some people get fucked up because of girls…? -__-;; twas sad… one guy made me all teary-eyed -__-;; aigo. aigoooo. aigo. aigo. i left my flip-flops at the park somehow… ugh. -__-;; no shower shoes! -__-;; ridiculous. stupid. aigo. -__-;; and it’s hot man… i feel like it’s 1oo degrees. oh mi oh my everything is so pointless. >__<

i’m listening to… — “without you here” bai finch [rock], “everlong” bai foo fighters [rock]
i’m feeling… blah.
i’m hella diggin… finch. they’re cool. thanks to jason for introducing! ^__^

1:58 pm — i’ve decided when i go back to cali i’m going to swim everyday since we finally have a membership to clubsport again -__-; haven’t been there in years… literally. despite the fact that i hate wearing bathing suits, swimming sounds super fun right now -__-; it’s actually pretty fun… i would do it more if not for the stupid bathing suits. but i really don’t care now so i’m going to go, i say -__-; wish i could right nooooow. -__-; i miss swimming. it’s actually fairly fun. blah.

i’m listening to… — “everlong” bai foo fighters [rock] <~ on repeat.
i feel… — fine.

july 12th — randomness these days man. i got super high the night before so i could not wake up for class… and after i woke up at around one pm i still felt high all the way until i went to work at 6… -__-;; went to play tennis with ahram, hana, esther, minsoo, and andrea at greenlake… funfun. it’s been so long since i’ve played >__< and oh yeah! when i was high and at hana’s house i was playing with her little brother’s puzzle… >__< ahhh so fun… i miss those things. i want a 3d puzzle. ^__^ minsoo said she’ll buy me one from korea. i doubt it. haha. then just worked for the rest of the day. aht. boring. oh well. i’m such a hopeless nerd. -__-;

july 13th — went to greenlake again to rollerblade / canoe with sun, melissa, jennifer, jonny, and adam. talk about random. it was fun, though… although i am row-canoe-stupid >__< me and sun soooo could not steer. -__-;;; hmmm and then me and adam went rollerblading around the lake once… everyone wanted to rollerblade initially but after canoeing people were either too tired or… well, we couldn’t rent rollerblades anymore because it was too late… so the people who really wanted to couldn’t (cept i borrowed melissa’s) ^__^ afterwards we just went to honey court and had dinner… then hung out at pochi’s and went to jonny’s place… played a lot of video games >__< they were all suprised that i can beat them in capcom vs snk puhaha… >__< pretty funny though because sun kept saying, “you’d think she’d suck, but she’s good.” fun stuff. melissa is crajee though… she doesn’t know what she’s really doing and just mashes together a bunch of buttons and does like every super combo there is -__-;;; oh well. i go… do stuff. sigh.

i’m listening to… — “chunilyoohon” bai shinhwa [korean], “i believe” bai lee sooyoung [korean], “the best kind of love” bai coco lee [mandarin], “goodbye” bai lee jihoon [korean]
i’m feeling… stupid.
i’m hella diggin… “wait and bleed” bai slipknot >__< the only rock song that is angry enough for my angry moods. -__- anyone know anything good like it? other slipknot stuff… is not.

5:29 am — PUHAHA. this makes my day… that sherry is going to laygoland 3 with me puhahaha.. boy will she regret coming on a saturday! >P puhaha. -__-;; again kevin shalt go so that sherry knows someone at least… twill be interesting, i say! finally! it’s been years and years but someone has finally conned sherry into going! MUHAHA. ^__^ dunno if she will like, but we’ll see.

12:21 pm — omigod… never smoking on a weekday again… smoked with josh, kevin, seung, bo, and jeff… aigo… i cannot function… like a freaking zombie or something… i have worst effects after smoking than dropping… wtf… ugh… -___-;;; didn’t go to class… not really on purpose today… more like i just could not wake up… -___-;; -___-;; -___-;; i wanna go to nrb… blah… actually i want to asleep forever. -__-; freaking carolynn! was the one who suggested we smoke and then kevin’s like, “let’s smoke!” and i said, “you guys can,” and he’s like, “it won’t be fun for me if you don’t.” -___-;; which worked at the time but i should have said no. BOOOOOOO! BOOOOOO! stupid weed… makes me so tired… and fatter… and tired… and stupid. -__-; no smoking for a while, i say. -__-;

(claire’s response:)
Wow…my bday is here O.o I do not come here much because I know very little about the new people in your life now. I am sorry. So most of your entries just confuse me…and you know how confused I get ^^;; Just wanted to say “hi” so you know I came. Hope you’re doing well today. Bye bye

i’m listening to… — “sarangeerago malhaneun maeumeh byung” bai mc hansai [korean], “promise” bai jang nara [korean], “blue” bai jang nara [korean]
i’m feeling… frustrated.
i’m hella diggin… my beautiful new subprofile and “disagree” bai pushing daisies.

4:16 pm — aigo… life is so fleeting >__< it’s so bothersome. there are a million beautiful things that i would like to remember forever but chances are i will barely remember most of them. here we are while we’re still young… still able to have the freedom to do whatever we want before we have to actually face the real world and be truly responsible for everything. ugh. i wish i knew what i wanted and/or what i must do to get what i want… blah… i still haven’t decided if the whole carpe diem-ish is good or bad… but ugh… -__-; can’t think… blah… -__-; sad. i don’t even make sense.

10:54 pm — i freaking studied for like five hours today… -__-; honestly, it is easier for me to read the korean text by myself and figure it out by myself than go to class and learn >__< wish i COULD do such a thing. i’m one of those people who learns things better by myself… chinese… html… blehbleh… i learn it better by myself than by other people telling me what to do. sigh sigh sigh. i can’t get some images out of my head and they make me so sad and frustrated and bothered… >__< huk. i was thinking about the movie “a beautiful mind” and how the main character SAW things that weren’t there… what if i did that and i didn’t even know?! wouldn’t that be weird? -__-;;; wishful thinking, perhaps? -__-; feels like i do that a lot… but i don’t know. blah. your mom.

i’m listening to… — “can’t take my eyes off you” bai lauryn hill [r&b], “echo” bai incubus [rock], “in front of your house” bai k:ul [korean]
i’m feeling… sickly.
i’m hella diggin… “echo” bai incubus… gah. it’s so… beautiful >__<

2:01 pm — you know, i’ve been doing some thinking (wow! -__-;). i’ve discovered that here in washington… it seems like with my friends who are guys i am often the center of attention. it used to be like this in cali but ever since going to college it hasn’t been like that that much anymore, and i must say i have been more than relieved since the decrease in the frequency of pick-on-vivian-attention. so… when people here say, “you know you like the attention.” ehhh… i don’t know yo… -__-; a little is okay but excess is kind of irritating. -__-; i guess i am just never satisfied. but i honestly wonder if other girls get jealous (so they say), because i cannot see myself getting jealous about something like that. cause i remember when i first came here this one time we were chilling at abe and michelle’s apartment and everyone and their moms was picking on and bothering hana and seriously, i felt bad for her… haha. -__-; so, no, i don’t think i would be jealous, nor do i especially think i would miss it. O_o; but maybe i’m wrong. i don’t know.

12:05 am — i ran for a little wee bit today (barely anything) but i’ve discovered i enjoy running in the rain. it is quite nice… quite nice indeed. i mean, obviously not when it’s pouring, but drizzle rain is nice. i feel so sick right now… lord knows why. oh well… -__-; i guess. k:ul’s slow songs are so awesome man… i don’t know why it seems they only release their happy jappy cornbally cheesebally stuff. -__-; blah… went to eat pho with andrea, chol, and chol’s cousin who i forgot the name of today… and then we went to go watch “miib”… it was pretty cool i guess. i liked the ending. call me easily amused. blah. i’m going to go now… laters.

this song was in my head when i woke up this morning, and it’s weird because after like fifteen minutes, my roommate started listening to it O_o; coincidence? must be.

i’m listening to… — “i swear my love” bai bijou [korean], “i turn to you” bai christina aguilera [r&b]
i’m feeling… fat.
i’m hella diggin… a guy. the same guy. -__-;
don’t bring… fast food …near me please

5:57 am — just got back from divalicious. it was pretty good, yo. vibe was good, music was good, decorations were good… just a tad too many people so it was so hot in the main room it was like a motherfucking sauna. -__-; so… yeah. interesting night, indeed. i knew it would be. so all day i didn’t really do anything big… just kind of lounged around and did stuff… watched “a beautiful mind” since i downloaded it on my computer. i am disappointed. tis not as good as everyone says because i found it to be quite predictable. ah, yea, yesterday i got this coolio hermatite ring… it’s shiny black rock… so spiff… >__< sigh sigh sigh. so… kevin came over at like 9:30 because he’s here in seattle working for the summer… and we went to andrea, carolynn, and esther’s apartment and met up with esther, andrea, chol, seungbum, and josh… then me and kevin went to the lambda house and sat around… then went to naf cause i got in for free (since the guy who threw the party is a lambda, i guess, and he let all the lambdas and lambda lil sisses in for free). twas quite nice, actually. ^__^ i had decent amounts of fun. chilled a lot. AND they had drum’n'bass / jungle in the main room which was spifferoo… =T i noticed all the people who like dnb are mainly white. yup. oh yeah. me, kevin, josh, nikki, and jeff [wang] were going to toke but we got caught and jeff was carrying it so the cops kicked him out but he didn’t leave or nothing so it was whatevers… they took my new pipe though… those motherbitches. >__< wait til lingo hears of this -__-; since the pipe is not technically mine yet. heh. -__-; there goes my free rave money. aigo aigo aigo. sigh sigh sigh. siggity sigh. i smell like naf… >__< and i have naf boogers. gross dude. >__< naf is so dirty, but i sort of enjoy it nonetheless. =T gah. i was going to say something to him tonight but i wasn’t really alone with him so… ehh. -__-; life is weird, i say. it seems like things always work out for the best even through hardships. if that makes sense. hmmm irrelevant, sort of. alright, well, peace. i guess i will sleep or something. sleep. chi.