inside the wonderful world of vee

* songs of the moment * — “watching you” bai eye [trance], “midnight” bai uncut [drum’n'bass]
* mood * — good, yo.

i must comment that the smell of NAF is amazing. i washed my skirt that i wore to nl42o and dried it… and it STILL smells a little like NAF. amazing, it is.

so, one of angie’s friends who lives on my floor is convinced that i hate him for some reason… haha -__-; and i don’t even hate him! that’s pretty whack. he always says in chinese and japanese, “that girl doesn’t like me.” as if i don’t understand -__- he must think i don’t. huk! who cares though =)

so today i went to take the korean placement test… to see if i could get into the first year heritage class… and i did! woop woop! got 37/90 ^__^ tightness. except for the reading comprehension and sentence completion parts i just drew in pictures… that’s the first time i’ve ever done that on a scantron… EVER… haha =)

so tony told me to take an online test iq test today and i did… and i got a 132. which means i’m a genius, pretty much. what a load of shit! that’s why i have concluded i think iq tests are a bunch of crappy poopoo. i took another one just for the hell of it and i got a 138. -__-; huk… if I were a genius… man, yeah right. what a bunch of crappola! -__-; it’s just abstract thinking. easy. nothing to do with real smarts… but then again, what are real smarts? huk. the world may never know.

and i finally updated my webpage. about time, yes?

i hate my random spurts of antisocial tendencies. -__-; i tell people i don’t want to go out and then i sit at home and i’m like, “what the fuck?! why am i sitting here instead of going out??” oh well. i guess sometimes i want to show discretion and make use of my time when i have lots of things to do, but i always end up wasting time away anyways. -__-

* songs of the moment * — “foolish games” bai jewel [pop?], “incomplete” bai sisqo [r&b], “wonderful tonight (rmx)” bai damage [iono]
* mood * — ^__^ good enough… compared to the past few days this is like HALLELUJAH kinda day.

i’m so hungry. but i’m always hungry. must… diet… forrealz -__-; hukkity huk huk. -__-; anyways, so what else do we children do on saturday nights? initially see… this was not going to be the plan. but then as we could think of nothing to do, we went ravey ravey again… as usual… the usual. -__-; it was pretty much a break-beat rave… all break-beats in the main room… which i like. but i think i’m the only one who likes it… puhaha. i really wish naf’d play some trance… they NEVER play trance. pretty whack. it’s whatevers, though. nice to see all the kids. hmm we smoked out at the rave (me and josh)… -__-;; i think raves are fun when you’re high… man though… it’s been so long since i’ve been raving sober -__-; well no not really, but it seems like it. oh, and for once cholio didn’t come!!! omigod. because he was busy with his new girlie girl. huk. i want a mannie man. -__-; sigh. working on this. i’m going to go tell that guy i like him… just… kinda scary. wish me luck, my comrades. =) man, people are so fucking funny… this one guy thought i was like… younger than him so he was all talkin to me and then i was like, “oh, i’m eighteen.” and he was like “whoa!” (well, he didn’t say it, but he had that kinda look on his face). and later he’s like, “do you have a boyfriend?” and i said, “no.” *pat pat!! you know… those kinda “reassuring” pats… haha. it’s funny man. i mean it’s not like not having a boyfriend isn’t the end of the world or something… oh well haha. and then all these random doooods took pics with me on their digital cam… eh? interesting. i like white males at raves. they seem to be the nicest. ^__^ asian doods are usually pretty shady. better now, though. anyways. lalala. time to goooo… bye!

oh yeah haha. i told my mom i was going to take korean in the summer yesterday and she was like, “okay, go ahead and take it.” and i was thinking… WHAT THE FUCK? (haha… that phrase always reminds me of: “they know what is what but they don’t know what is what they just strut - what the fuck?”) and i cast it off as temporary psychosis… and i was correct because she called me this morning saying i shouldn’t take it. HAHA. too bad.

ah… yes… yet more things i forgot to mention. i talked to dj ehcko… local asian dj dOod… ehh… he’s alright but he like… is kind of a bum yo. he misses his time spots for spinning at naf and is whatevers about it… and he’s fucking drunk all the time… don’t know how much respect i have for a guy like that. i don’t know. whatever. and then i also talked to the simply jeff guy (who was the headliner) because for some reason i wandered around outside and then i saw him and i was like “are you a dj?” and he’s like… “no…” so i gave him this look and then he was like, “okay actually i am.” he was so… non-cool! oh well. whatever. bitch. no support from me you fat asian fuck! -__-;;; i’m being mean lately -__-;;; as andrea, kimchi-john, chol, and josh know very well about certain people’s girlfriends… puhaha… -__-;

other thing… i can’t believe lisa left-eye lopez from tlc died man! she was my favorite tlc member! right when they were starting to get along again too. that’s pretty whack yo. hukkity huk huk.

and i shall provide examples of what i would be happy and proud of myself doing:
http://urban-stylez.net/ . http://www.charmed.nu/index2.html . http://momohime.net/ . http://www.members.shaw.ca/halferlove/index.html
and last but NOT last: http://www.dj-designs.com/ (mie current background is an image from here now… yey! ^__^

* songs of the moment * — “i turn to you” bai christina aguilera [pop], “everywhere” bai michelle branch [pop], “my happiness” bai powderfinger [rock], “cup of coffee” bai garbage [rock]; “global clubbing rendezvous” bai dj tiesto and paul van dyk [trance]
* mood * — eh.

12:47 am — aigo, wat a poo day… -__- aigo… i jes got back from a waste of tym at work at which i ate too much sweet stuff and now i feel fat and sick… and yuk… fauk… friggin i did the wrong chinese homework assignment cause i’m a retard… huk… -__- fuckin poo day, in every way possible.

5:29 pm — okay so like today i could have taken a road trip to oregon with the downer family (chol, seungbum, and josh) or gotten drunken with tony and company, but instead noooo this is the one week i actually have to work on a thursday. how gay poopy is that? -__- this further leads me to conclude that i have the worst luck in the world, and if i were to believe in karma, i’d be convinced that i am evil to all of humankind or something. huk.

so this stupid bimbo from work who thinks herself so cute calls me and asks me if i can come an hour early to work because “she isn’t feeling well”. fuck you dude. i always work when i feel like shiet… she works the easiest fucking hours… she only works a few hours in the daytime and NEVER works on weekends. fuck you bitch. see, i wouldn’t even have that much of a problem with her if it weren’t for the fact that she forreal thinks she’s so fucking cute and honestly, she’s ugly as fizuuuuck. she was eatin like a pig and this other guy damon says, “if you keep eating like that, you’ll be as fat as a pig” (it sounds more normal in chinese) and she says, “what do i care? i can still get guys because guys like girls like me. i’m cute.” fuck you… you ugly fuck. -__-; wow, haven’t cussed this much in a while. sense any bitterness? -__-; anyways.

so today i took my economics final. it was pretty easy, actually. i meant to get up at five in the morning to review but i ended up getting up at around six-fifty in the morning… which turned out pretty good actually. so i went to take my midterm, did decently (i think), came back, did chinese homework, had half a mind to go to chinese class, but then ended up sleeping instead. huk. i slept from 10:30 til around 3:00 when seung called asking if i wanted to go to oregon. got all sorts of lovely phone calls mixed in during that time as well. whee. good thing i can sleep like a log these days. i swear i have mono or something. they say it’s all mental… and perhaps it is. but now, in my mind, i have mono. whee. -__-; fuggity fuck fuck god, i hate the people i work with!! the only person i like is sora and she is quitting (that muthafoo)… so hopefully caitlin and/or jessica will get hired so that i can work with them… but knowing my luck, that won’t happen either. fuckers. fuggity fuck fuck!

LOW : schizoid, borderline, avoidant, dependent
MODERATE : paranoid, schizotypal, antisocial, narcissist, obsessive-compulsive
HIGH : histrionic
click this for more information about the disorders
click this to take the test

* songs of the moment * — “wasting my time” bai default [rock] and now a cd of goodass trance shiet that i got back when i liked trance but knew nothing about elektronik music -__- i made the mistake of throwing away the song listing… godammit, so stupid!
* mood * — eyeball hurts. oh wait, that’s not a mood… -__-;

11:12 pm — so this morning i was sleeping and my door opened right? and for some reason i thought that it was my roommate coming back really early in the morning or something (retarded). and so i went back to sleep. and later, my roommate’s alarm clock went off so naturally i went to look at the clock to check what time it was. i thought that perhaps she had an 8:30 class or something and that her alarm was going off because she needed to go to class. little did i know, that she had already come back from class, was waking up from taking a nap, and that i was THREE IN THE FUCKING AFTERNOON! i’ve never slept through all my classes accidentally before!! -__- what a disgrace. oh well. -__- i had a quiz in chinese today too! i was supposed to get up early and study! rawr… grr… arrr… oh well -__-;; nothing i can do about it now… anyways, i have to go back to studying economics, but you know what was cool? tonight i went down to eat dinner and we randomly got into conversations about strange stuff with the people in front of us in line. it’s fun. i love talking to random people. people are so freaking interesting. that is the only perk about working at a bubble tea place - you get to meet all sorts of interesting people. oh well. anyways, back to studying, but i thought i’d leave you with a couple of things. the first is quiz results… whee…

i guess if the quiz says so, it must be true? -__- since we all know how accurate these online quizzes are!second would be a portion of a conversation i had with miss tin-win liu yesterday. i had one of these with phil [hsieh] and seungbum too… and phil’s was fairly interesting as well (but too personal to post), and seung’s was mostly stating that if i didn’t stop typing intellectually, he would came and shake me next time he saw me (huk… only a few people would understand this -__-)

vee (1:44:46 AM): i feel like typing extremely correctly today.
vee (1:44:51 AM): so i am. minus the capitalizations.
missgem (1:44:56 AM): hahah
missgem (1:44:58 AM): why is that?
missgem (1:45:02 AM): jes in the mood?
vee (1:45:16 AM): yes. i don’t know why.
vee (1:45:17 AM): haha.
vee (1:45:29 AM): i feel as though this is the most effective way in which i can squander away my time.
missgem (1:45:38 AM): hahaha
vee (1:46:06 AM): and this is also a sorry attempt to improve my english language skills which i have discovered have slowly been deteriorating.
missgem (1:46:16 AM): what? this is quality AIM time with tinwin!!… u arent squandering ur time!
missgem (1:46:19 AM): hahhaha
missgem (1:46:24 AM): yesh yesh
vee (1:46:30 AM): in fact, my accent problem is so prominent that another day this guy asked me if i was from somewhere else because i had an accent.
missgem (1:46:40 AM): wha??/
vee (1:46:41 AM): i said, “i was born here,” because i thought he was implying that i was born somewhere in asia.
missgem (1:46:41 AM): hahhaha
missgem (1:46:47 AM): LOL
vee (1:46:48 AM): however, he said, “yes, you have an italian accent.”
missgem (1:46:49 AM): !!
vee (1:46:53 AM): dare i say, “what the fuck?!”
missgem (1:46:54 AM): WHAT???!
vee (1:46:56 AM): yes.
vee (1:46:58 AM): that is what i am saying.
missgem (1:47:13 AM): wtf?! hahhaa that is pretty hilarious tho
vee (1:47:16 AM): so now i shall add italian to my extensive collection of japanese, hawaiian, chinese, and various other fob accents.
missgem (1:47:25 AM): LOL
vee (1:47:27 AM): i think this man was thoroughly confused because he himself had an accent.
missgem (1:47:51 AM): hahhahaha
missgem (1:47:53 AM): omg
missgem (1:47:55 AM): u crack me up
missgem (1:47:56 AM):
vee (1:47:58 AM): do you like my typing? i like it.
missgem (1:47:59 AM): too funny
missgem (1:48:04 AM): lurv it
missgem (1:48:06 AM): i do i do
vee (1:48:41 AM): i would advise you to enjoy this because this is a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
vee (1:48:55 AM): in a few moments i may feel as though i am wasting too much time and brain power typing like this.
missgem (1:49:41 AM): hahaha… ok, i’ll savethis AIm convo in my archive of “important AIM convos”
missgem (1:49:53 AM): this will be the first one actually
vee (1:49:54 AM): you have an archive of important aim conversations?
vee (1:50:00 AM): wow! i feel very honored.
missgem (1:50:08 AM): wahhaha
missgem (1:50:11 AM): u should
missgem (1:50:21 AM): u get your very own folder
missgem (1:50:40 AM): entitled: “very important aim convos, by vivian hua”
missgem (1:50:48 AM): wahaha
vee (1:50:49 AM): i believe that i now must save this conversation because it is proof that i now have my own folder in tin-win’s computer.
vee (1:50:51 AM): what an exciting day!
missgem (1:51:30 AM): hahhaa… it tis it tis!
vee (1:51:49 AM): it has come to my attention that you have met philip nho’s friend janet
vee (1:51:50 AM): .
missgem (1:51:56 AM): haha o yah i have
missgem (1:51:59 AM): how do u kno?
vee (1:52:00 AM): i find this quite interesting because janet is fontaine’s old friend from irvine.
missgem (1:52:06 AM): i kno!
missgem (1:52:22 AM): she told me she talked to u i believe on AIM? is that correct?
vee (1:52:29 AM): furthermore, this is interesting because i talked to janet online a long time ago and the other day i was reading philip nho’s so-called “blog” and i saw that her screename was on there.
missgem (1:52:46 AM): hahhaha
vee (1:52:48 AM): yes, i do believe i have spoken to her on america online instant messenger a few times.
vee (1:52:56 AM): it is really quite a small world.
missgem (1:53:01 AM): and u actually remembered her sn?
missgem (1:53:02 AM): wah
missgem (1:53:04 AM): yes it is
vee (1:53:06 AM): you know what else is evidence that the world is quite small?
missgem (1:53:16 AM): what is that my friend?
vee (1:53:31 AM): i met quite a few individuals online back when i was still residing in the sunny land of california.
vee (1:53:45 AM): some of these individuals i met through my webpage or asianavenue, and i never dreamt that i would someday meet them face-to-face.
missgem (1:53:48 AM): WAHAHHAHA…. sunny land of california??!?!
missgem (1:54:02 AM): o yah! strange indeed
vee (1:54:10 AM): however, upon coming to this rainy land of seattle where the sun dost not shine very often, i have discovered i have come to meet many of these individuals face-to-face.
vee (1:54:18 AM): and, get this, i did not even plan on meeting them!
vee (1:54:24 AM): it is really quite a joyous event.
missgem (1:54:35 AM): oh yes, quite
missgem (1:55:05 AM): lol… how did u kno i met janet?
vee (1:55:34 AM): yesterday janet randomly instant messaged me online because apparently mr. philip nho told her that i knew her.
vee (1:55:39 AM): naturally, i asked her if she had met you yet.
vee (1:55:42 AM): and she said she has.
missgem (1:56:36 AM): ahh that would explain it
missgem (1:56:37 AM): haha
vee (1:56:50 AM): yes, it would, my friend.
vee (1:56:59 AM): so how are things doing with you in the strange land of berkeley?
missgem (1:57:05 AM): LOL
missgem (1:57:36 AM): not bad not bad
missgem (1:58:09 AM): haha
missgem (1:58:16 AM): r u typing like this to everyone??
vee (1:58:44 AM): certainly.
vee (1:58:52 AM): however, i am only speaking with you and mr. philip hsieh.
missgem (1:59:22 AM): yes he has informed me
missgem (1:59:46 AM): he has stated that you are typing in a strange manner
vee (2:00:05 AM): did he inform you that he is also responding in the same strange manner?
missgem (2:00:16 AM): no he has not!
vee (2:00:43 AM): i must inform you that he is.
missgem (2:01:04 AM): why i did not know of that!
missgem (2:01:19 AM): what an oddling!
vee (2:01:26 AM): certainly, an oddling indeed.
vee (2:01:33 AM): so, tell me about the new happenings in your life.
missgem (2:02:29 AM): well i am sorry to dissapoint you, but nothing of substantial value has occured in the present
missgem (2:02:47 AM): this coming thrusday i am attending a semi-formal dance, however
missgem (2:03:04 AM): it is to be held on a boat in the san francisco bay
missgem (2:03:10 AM): it should be a grand event, indeed
vee (2:03:25 AM): may i ask if you will be attending this event with a partner?
missgem (2:04:08 AM): oh i am afraid not, i am attending with some of my female friends
vee (2:04:43 AM): i am quite disappointed in your lack of supplying me with new gossip.
missgem (2:04:56 AM): many of the men in our city are too, dare i say, stingy, to afford such an event as this
vee (2:05:05 AM): is it a very expensive event?
missgem (2:06:33 AM): well, the event does cost a sum of thirty dollars and zero cents
vee (2:06:54 AM): that is certainly not a very high cost.
vee (2:07:06 AM): this leads me to believe that the boys you are hanging around are “bungholes”.
vee (2:07:10 AM): i am just kidding.
missgem (2:07:32 AM): haha… well i do believe you are correct in that statement
vee (2:08:09 AM): that is quite alright because i have discovered many of my male friends lack monetary funds as well.
missgem (2:08:37 AM): yes that seems to be a severe dilemma in the male society today
vee (2:08:45 AM): my friend from washington is threatening to kill my “weirdass” because he does not like the manner in which i am typing.
vee (2:08:53 AM): this strikes me as odd because he is quite the “weirdo” himself.
vee (2:09:03 AM): yes, i do believe this is a major problem in our society these days.
missgem (2:10:17 AM): yes, why we must attempt to solve this problem!
missgem (2:10:24 AM): but alas, my time has come
missgem (2:10:28 AM): i have yet to retire
missgem (2:10:38 AM): for the night
missgem (2:10:42 AM): i am quite exhausted
vee (2:10:43 AM): i am disappointeed in your early sleeping patterns, but i am thinking i should take after your footsteps.
vee (2:10:46 AM): have a pleasant sleep my dear!
missgem (2:11:04 AM): yes and the same to you as well!
missgem (2:11:06 AM): ta ta!
vee (2:12:06 AM): ta ta!
vee (2:12:13 AM): do keep that folder well kept!
missgem (2:13:05 AM): why certainly!
missgem (2:13:33 AM): good night my dear!
vee (2:13:38 AM): good night!

STUPID FORUM! HOW COME MY FACES ARE FUCKED UP? (MY FACES ARE THE LITTLE -__-;; THINGS… THEY SHOULD HAVE EYES, DAMMIT!

* cd of the moment * “break the cycle” bai staind [rock]… long tym no listen… i accidentally lent it to eva a bajillion years ago, totally forgot about it, and forgot to get it bak. finally tho… it is back in mie possession. muhaha __;;
* mood * i’m sleepy __;;

4:18 am so at the moment i am taking a break from studying. wheeee. mad finals and homework coming up. i’ve been studying for like the past… five hours. and i studied like two hours before i went to dinner earlier. for reals… this is probably the most i’ve ever studying in my life! considering i probably still have about two more hoursworth to go. hukness. so… today i woke up and went straight to chinese class to take my chinese midterm. actually i think i did pretty well. i did some hardcore studying for it, yo. i knew pretty much everything but the simplified section and one of the translation questions. okay, nevermind, that doesn’t sound very impressive __;; i always finish hella earlier than everyone else because i write chinese and english really fast… but people assume that i finish quickly because i knoe all the material really well. HAHA. mortal fools. keke just kidding. but jea… aren’t they surprised when they discover i probably have the lowest grade out of everyone in the class. __;;!! that kind of reminds me of the quote, “the good part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being proven right or being pleasantly surprised.” i dunno why. but i like that quote. hehe ^__^!

anyways i came back from class and freaking slept for like… four hours or something. haha. haven’t gotten enough sleep lately. i woke up with a *bang* though, because it was like 2:30pm (or something) right… but for some reason i thought it was 10am and i thought that i had missed my chinese midterm although i had already taken it. haha. what a fool i am. oh welps. it’s okay because that surprised me so much i actually got straight up and productive. i had a dance class today that i’m taking with eva but i decided i had so much shit to do that i wouldn’t go. so i didn’t. not that i really mind. __;; i lack coordination to dance in class. i don’t care if people say i dance good at raves or whatever. i can’t dance in class. no coordination. i can follow the teacher decently when there’s a mirror in front of us, but the second we turn around, yeah… it’s all over. plus i don’t really dig her 80’s c+c music factory type music, so… it just does not float my boat. can you imagine me dancing? huk. i took dance classes last in like 8th grade i think. yeah. that was hell too. makes me wonder why i decided to do it voluntarily now! i thought it would be decent exercise but i don’t even break into a sweat. oh well.

later at night my only social activity was pretty much going to eat dinner with tony and we ran into susan and tina [chow] so we ate with them too. oh and josh [hwang], chol, and ian came because we were going to go down to uvillage and get ourselves some free ben n jerry’s ice cream! they were giving everyone free cones today. hella cool. too bad they barely had any flavors left (well, that’s an exaggeratin they had about half). but i was mad cause they had neither or their banana ice creams left __ so i got “cherry garcia”. oh well whatevers. it was free… not like i can really complain! hehe! i like ben n jerry’s very much! anyways, yes that’s pretty much the most excitement i had in my day. oh yeah! it was cool because right when we got in the door to ben n jerry’s, they cut off the line right behind us. PUHAHA. sucks for them suckaz. __;; just kidding. that’s pretty mean. oh well onto writing my speech and hearing sciences paper. but not before i leave you with these lyrics that have been on my mind since this morning! i was listening to the song and i just randomly decided to look up the lyrics (they’re hard to understand in the song) and wow! it matches exactly. how… wow. what a good coincidence. ^__^

stay with me just for today
let your soul come and rest for a minute now
share your mind if you have some time
i would love to sit and talk to you
i will wait if you ask me to
but i won’t stay here forever now
i know your heart could keep me warm if you let me staywhat can i say? what can i do?
is there any way to get through to you?
i’ll put myself into your shoes and
i’ll walk around these streets of yours
it’s cold outside where you stay
but my heart is not far away
so take a breath and close your eyes
i want to hold you

i feel that your eyes won’t open
maybe the moon will come down and save me
maybe your eyes will stop me from falling
i’m drowning; don’t you know that i can’t lift my head?
yes, i’m drowning and i can’t catch my breath.
* AK1200 DROWNING *

wow… kind of almost exactly what i am feeling… but of course no one would understand the exact details of why it’s so frustrating liking… *him*. actually. it’s quite surprising to me that i’m not as frustrated about this whole issue than i would expect i’d be. =P haha. how confusing can it possibly get? =P oh well. for those of you who know what i mean, good… you know me fairly well! =)oh yes. i am also very curious as to what everyone thinks soulmates are and whether or not you believe in them! i used to be a firm nonbeliever, but for some reason these days i’m rethinking my thoughts. any comments anyone? you can leave it anonymous, i’m just curious >.<
(eva’s response:)
yo woman, psh, you DO break a sweat because she locks all the windows so there is no circulation and we oven bake for an hour. she’s kinda cheesy and stuff, but man, it’s different from the usual hoopla. plus, man, a whole hour of sarcastic movements… fun stuff, yo.

* song of the moment * — “for an angel” bai paul van dyk [trance], “words for love” bai paul oakenfold and paul van dyk [trance], “gobaek” bai jang nara [korean]
* mood * — i’m sleepy -__-;;

friday, april 19th — soo i was actually pretty productive today! ^__^ i woke up, went to all mie classes… failed mie econ quiz, by the way, and then came home and actually read sociology and studied (well… that’s only because i knew i wouldn’t have time this weekend -__-). then i went to dreadful work at bubble tea at five. fucking shiet. i have to work so much these next couple of weeks. frickin whack. i hate working. huk. -__- too bad i need money for parties. -__-; if it weren’t for that… I WOULDN’T BE WORKING GODAMMIT. huk. anyhoo, after work steve [lee - the dorkee one] came over for… i don’t know why the hell exactly… and then tony came to visit because he was buzzed >.< dammit, i still gotta see him drunken >.< !! oh well… entertaining nonetheless. we played video games with his friend johnny til four in the morning. aigo, i miss playing video games ^__^ oh yea paul [nadal]’s birthday got cancelled tonite. huk. and i worked so hard to get a couple of hours off early of work too. oh well. -__-; turned out to be a more entertaining night than i had planned?

saturday, april 20th — the 420 holiday! mie first tym celebratin this shiet… puhaha. well, i wasn’t planning on smoking any all day cause i was sick… but then… erf… that went to hell -__-;; at least i didn’t smoke any cigarettes this time! jeaaaaa… -__-;; anyhoo. blah. i dropped… -__-; even tho i claimed i wouldn’t. damn mie lack of willpower. oh well. it was hella fun, tho. good music… GOOD hard house. it was super duper fun ~ ^__^ plus everyone and their moms went, which made it even more fun! =) well anyways, i’m too lazy to write more and i have to study for my chinese midterm tomorrow. huk. -__-; soooo yes! one more thing! i like someone right now >.< huk… if only i could have a chance with him. it kinda seems like i can, but then… huk… knowing him, i can’t. -__-; sigh*. o jea… @ nl420 yesterday there was a guy beat-boxing in the side room at naf… omigod he was soo good… hella cool ^__^

* cd of the moment * — iono the title but it’s a zhou hui cd ^__^ her voice is sveeeet
* mood * — i’m okay.

12:27 am — hukness… work people piss mee off! arrrrr… work in general pisses mee off. mie boss asks mee wat mie goals in life are and when i tell him that i want to start mie own magazine he pretty much blows it off and mocks mee… sayin… “why would yoo want to do that?” and i said, “because it’s fun.” and he scoffed and said people don’t do what is fun for a job. FAUK YOO! shieeet… it’s something that interests mee… fauk… yoo own a fukin bubble tea shop so i dun wanna hear it! huk huk huk! huk! i dun care if starting mie own magazine sounds unappealing to yoo, it’s something that i wanna do, and that’s all that fauking matters… grrrr… and then he says it’s because i don’t understand the importance of money yet. perhaps, but fauk… all the money i spend is wat i make… with an exception of tuition and shiet… not mie fault that mie parents pay for mie tuition… it’s not like they give mee watever the fuk i want (which is wat he implied). garrr that pisses mee off… he thinks i’m some spoiled lil brat whose never done anything in mie life (anything being like… house chores and shiet)… huk huk huk. fucking… argh… perhaps i haven’t done as much as other people, that’s for sure. but fuk, it’s not like i don’t do jack shiet and i jes get things handed to mee on a silver platter all the tym (wat a stupid analogy). huk.

and then this other guy i work with INSISTS on doing everything that i am already doing. if i’m cleaning something, he goes, “let mee do that.” if i’m filling something up, he goes, “let mee do that.” okay maybe some girls would like that, but personally… I FIND IT FUCKING ANNOYING! i can do that lil shiet mieself, thank yoo very much. if i need help, i will ask. dammit. bitches. huk. oh well. -___-;; so mie boss is gonna be gone for the next two weeks and he has mee workin like ehhhh 28? about hour weeks… fukin… AAA! i have to work on wednesday, thursday, friday, sunday… nights… omigod, dunno if i can handle this. i can barely handle the workload as it is… i am REALLY bad at managing mie tym because i have so many different things i feel i should do… (huk… spending time online is one of them). spending time with frendz is another. perhaps i DO kick it too much, but if schedules follow up like this… usually on days i work in dun even see anyone. no life. faukin poo. -__-; oh well. huk huk huk. and suddenly, mie room smells like weed. strange. anyways, so our piece of crap two RA’s handed out surveys for everyone to turn in… i’m not about to turn in that shiet because I THINK THEY SUCK ASS. i have not a single word of appreciation for them. faukin pOoz. actually, one of them is okay. the other one… ehhh… and everyone on these two frickin floors call mee “mei-mei”, which is the girl who lives nex door to mee! huk ~ i wonder if they call her that too. stupid people who think all asian girls look alike. -__-; oh well. bitching galore. huk. but i guess i can go to paul’s birthday party on friday for a lil cause i’m being let off work a lil early… jes dunno if it’s worth it to have someone pick mee up and go so late? and i’m afraid people will be all fauked up… huk… wat to do… wat to do… -__-;;

if what i say turns out to be the ending
my heart will leave my body and live in the past
both loving someone or not will cause a person to be sad
i don’t know how to make this decision
do you and i have the same difficulties?
your courage has me in awe
i don’t know if you’ll decide
i think that my heart still isn’t clear enough
whether to love you or leave you?
i will continue to wonder…
zhou hui - huati (topic)

* cd of the moment * — “4 u” bai elva xiao [mandarin]
* mood * — okay, but i’m soooo tired… physically and mentally. hukness.

april 13th — huk so mee, suejung, kat, and tony (well tony kinda fell asleep @ 3am) stayed up until 6am chillin, playin cards (briefly), chattin with tony’s clustermates, watchin a break-dancin competition, watchin weird sundance movies with a lotta sex, and watchin “hollow man” on tv. i heard that movie was really bad but it actually was alright. other than the fact he killed a lil puppy. wat a poo. i liked the effects, tho. and then i worked from 11 am to 6 pm… god… fuqin sucky… but that’s cause i got friday off for the incubus and hoobastank concert. hukness. at night, mee, josh, seungbum, and chol went out to eat with hana, that foo that came back from korea and only called seungbum. huk. wat a poo. oh well. we ate sullungtang (or something)… eh it was alright… not that great… but i love rice in soup so it was koo for mee and mie sick self. afterwards, mee, josh, seung, kat, and sue went to a rave down bie the waterfront… called “narnia”… it was alright… the rooms were a lil too small… but gyeaaa seung and chol have more tolerance for drum’n'bass now. that makes mee happy. oh well… then we went home and they went to eat and ended up goin back but i went home early cause i was sick and sleepy… huk.

april 14th — worked til 4 pm… i was sooo fuqin tired i felt like i was high or cracked out… couldn’t even think straight. i don’t think i’ve ever been that tired before… frickin weird, i tell yoo. so turns out somehow i fuked up mie incubus cd and there is this big giant huge scratch in it… huk. and then at night i went to sherry’s uncle’s place and had dinner with her relatives. weird, yo. but they brought me yummie food to bring home, so that was kool. nice havin a home-cooked chinese meal again… gyea. for some reason sherry’s dad told them that i was a chinese and computer whiz tho… and uhhh… i’m really not, so i ended up having to explain hella shiet about the computer that’s pretty frickin basic. O.o;;

april 15th — was so frickin tired i slept all day… til like 3pm… didn’t go to any classes. actually it’s 8pm right now and i’m exhausted still… i’m gonna go take another nap. i dunno if it’s cause i’m sick of wat, but it’s quite ridiculous. pretty kool tho mee and eva jes came back a half hour ago from a dance (jazz dance huk) class… today was the first day. eh. i have no coordination. pretty gay. but it was okay. we stretched and that made mee super relaxed, which was kool. and then right after we got home, it’s all thundering and lightening now, so that’s okay too. oh well… okay… tym for nappy. and then study hardy. oh yeah. i’ve concluded i’m not gonna drop or get high on 420… i’m just gonna take pics of everyone fuked up. it’ll be fun. unfortunately, i have to work on fri night and i can’t go to paul [nadal]’s party… which sucketh much butteth. but there’s really nothing i can do about it, so sigh. well, pzzies.

* song of the moment * — “cup of coffee” bai garbage [rock], “drive you home” bai garbage [rock]
* mood * — gute

12:02 am — sooo two of mie roomie’s frendz are here… cause they drove up from so-cal to go to the incubus and hoobastank concert tonight. ^__^;; semi crajee, but it’s pretty kool. anyways, so today i really did nothing except go to all mie classes (half-awake). i promised amy that i’d go to all mie classes. so far, so good. -__-;;; hopefully i can keep it up. gahr. i should do some hardcore studying soon. but eh. -__-; tomorrow morning i must work. hOohOohOo. anyhoo, i must say the incubus and hoobastank concert was quite terrific. they playe fewer “hard” songs than i thot they would, but it was pretty kool. yoo knoe wat pissed mee off tho??? brandon (i think that’s his name… anyway, the lead singer of incubus) was like, “don’t you guys feel the love in here? i do.” and then they played “stellar” and people were moshing to that -__-; people are NOT supposed to mosh to that song. it’s super lovey dovey and mellow. huk. it’s a love song, ya bitches! -__-; i wanted to punch them to get them straightened up, but i suppose that would be… against mie cause. anyways, so his pants were all falling down almost… and yoo could see the muscles from his *ahem… lower… midriff section. o_O;; girls thot it was sexy. i dun think he’s very hot but ehh -__-;; they sure put up a good performance and stuff. sound exactly the same live. and i didn’t really think he could sing before, but he can. unfortunately, we missed almost all of hoobastank’s performance cause we got there a half hour late -__- *cry. i got to hear mie favorite of all the hoobastank songs tho. so… that made mee happy. (mie favorite song of theirs is “remember me”). anyways. i love concerts. wheee ~ !

meet me in outerspace
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
i’ve grown tired of this place
won’t you come with me?
we can start again
how do you do it?
make me feel like i do
how do you do it?
it’s better than i ever knew
INCUBUS - STELLAR

song of the moment - i have a elektronika song in mie head but iono wat it is.
mood - urgh.

3:07 am - so tonight we went to ballard firehouse again for this lil partie thing with kat, suejung, chol, josh, and seungbum… dj flave’s first time spinning drum’n'bass. that foo is pretty tight. but yea, i think his mixing helped seungbum and chol earn at least a lil respect for drum’n'bass. that floated and floats mie boat. actually, i wasn’t going to go at first because i had/have so much ish to take care of, but i decided that forreal, tomorrow, i’m gonna study hardcore. i studied hardcore today for the MOST part, but ehh… it’s not enough. urf. i really hope i can get off of work on friday for the incubus and hoobastank concert. i can’t believe mieself… i totally thought it was on saturday. dood, if mie boss doesn’t let mee get it off… i’m thinking about just seriously not showing up to work. if he fires mee… eh. but i have been waiting for this for sooo long… since beginning of the skool year to see incubus. so fuk this shiet, i’m not about to waste $32.60 and not get to see mie two favorite groups perform. i can’t miss it. i just can’t. music is what makes mie world go round… forreal. perhaps it sounds quite pathetic. i bet many people have other people or things make their world go round… but music is mine. it can support and celebrate mie every single mood with its diversity… it gives yoo a way to express yourself physically, mentally, emotionally… everything. if i were given the choice to do anything at any tym, it would be music-related somehow. raving… concerts… singing… jes chilling and listening to music. music powers mie soul. damn, i sound like a cornball, but it’s ONE of the few things that can lift mee out of a dark mood… that can make mee forget for that tym what is bothering mee. tonight at the firehouse i had a lot on mie mind at first, but when mie drum’n'bass came on, i didn’t think about none of that stuff (the thinking came afterwards when we were at denny’s). mie mind was consumed by music… by dancing… by being in sync with the music, pretty much. how cornbally. oh well i don’t give a rat’s ass. i was talkin with tony today about how i have to study with music on and he said suggested that i was one of those people with an overactive mind. hmm maybe so but i just think music is such an essential part of mee. i think it is the only thing i can find nothing wrong with because of the range it covers? molla.

aigoness, man, people are really driving mee insane… huk… i can take teasing but only so much. gets fucking annoying after a while and i jes wanna smack em upside the head. so if yoo’re one of those fOoz that i’m talking about, chill yoo bitches. moderation is the key otherwise one day i’m forreal gonna candywalk on yo azzes -__-;

on another note, no more smokin of any kind for mee for a while. not even on four-twenty. mie lungs, mie throat… all fucked up… i cough a dry painful ass cough, mie throat feels like sandpaper, i cough up phlegm non-stop everywhere, all the tym. it’s not kool. not kool at all. i feel better at the moment cause i drank a couple cups of warm coffee and denny’s, but huk… sucks ass. anyways, i’m jes gonna pass out now and deal with things in the morning. pzzies.