inside the wonderful world of vee

2:45 am — i swear to god for everything good that seems to happen to mee, something that i do has to fuck it up. -__- godammit, so tonight i come back from an amazingly fun time of karaoking with tha three phil’s, dave, and dahye and then guess wat? mie stupid, dumb, careless ass discovers that i lost mie keys. fauk. and to make it worse, they’re not even MIE keys… their mie MOMS keys. godammit… grrr… aaaach… fuqin i’m so fuqin stupid i need to grow a brain man. i have no brain, or at least not one that i use for anything good. godammit. godammit. agh. yoo knoe, and it’s daylight savings tym i guess? lose an hour of sleep? is that right… fauk… man i jes ate two ice cream bars and it’s so early in the morning. wat am i doing. fuqin fatty. -__- life fuqin sucks. it’s easter today… and yoo knoe wat i dun give a fuk. i’m glad i dun go to church anymore. it’s a waste of mie tym and energy. there is no fuqin point. i dun believe in god. at all. fate… nope. i think life is utterly and totally, pointless. eh this was on tony’s aa page (euphoricsoul01): “What exactly is [the point of life]? To reach some sort ofnirvana, absolute bliss? To achieve financial superiority over others? I see no purpose in life other than to feed my/our curiosity. If we break it down, that is how everyone else feels in this world.” fuk hell yea… that’s how i feel. POINTLESS i tell yoo. i’m so fuqin stupid. such a disappointment, man. for mie parents and shit. i need to start workin hard. give them and mieself somethin to be proud of. because i’m not good at anything. not an exaggeration, not a joke. i’m not good at ANYTHING. i never have been. sports, nope. music, nope. grades, nope. relationships, nope. nothing, nothing, nothing. nothing is going for mee. perhaps i should work harder to make a purpose for living on this hell-hole. gaaaah… need to concentrate… need to be someone. yoo knoe i never wanted to be someone til now. fuk… actually i still dun wanna be someone. i just wanna be good at something. i want mie parents to be able to look at mee and say, yea, she’s really good at this. but i’m not. i’m not good at anything. i wanna be able to look at mieself and not be as disappointed as i am. everyone knoes how easy-going i am. nothing really lets mee down or pisses mee off… except for mie stupidass self. i piss mieself off so much. i have no willpower, no… drive. just this hopeless, useless shell of a girl who mopes around all day and gets by doing as little as possible. fuqin… i don’t have anything. or maybe i do. i probably have a lot more than a lot of people but i guess i’m just never satisfied. ugh. sucks. life… sucks. sucks. sucks. sucks. i don’t see why i do so many of the things that i do… actually… i don’t see point in anything really. i was talking to sky the other day and he was saying how he finds purpose in every single thing that he does. i find purpose in NOTHING that i do. probably… i’m a hedonist (how ironic that hedonist masquerade is tonight). the only reason i do things is to make mieself happy, and in the long run, i really get happiness out of nothing. sorry, bie definition i think happiness is fleeting, so yes, i do get happiness… but i never get joy. ehhh… don’t think it’s anything yoo can really find either. hedonist is the way to go. fuqin shiet. fuqin… ack. man, this is a pretty psycho entry. deal with it. fuk life man, i do wat i do to just get by. fuk everything.
(c — who is this — response:)
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are one of the most outgoing and personable people I have met. You enjoy your life and should not let external measures of sucesses impact your happiness.

I know a lot of people who devote their lives to grades, school, accomplishments, whatever, but they’re not happy. They don’t have fun. They don’t enjoy life.

Strike a balance and find your goals. Do them because you want to and not because you are told that you should.

* song of the moment * — “jaded” bai aerosmith [rock], “what’s my age again” bai blink-182 [rock], “higher” bai creed [rock], “change” bai the deftones [rock]
* mood * — eh it’s whatevers… =T

12:10 am — so wat have i been doing these days back in cali, yoo ask? or maybe yoo dun ask, but i tell yoo anyways. mahaha. as usual, i’ve been playing crajee amounts of pool. huk ~ always fun, is it not? -__-; yea, cept i’ve been really broke this break and needin to borrow money from everyone. sorrie kiddos. -__-;; hehehe everyone gained weight over break *giggle giggle* so i’m not the only one -__-; i have come upon many a conclusion or re-conclusion over this break:
ONE > all i really listen to in college is rock and elektronika… oing??? never listen to hip-hop and rap anymore ~ barely.
TWO > i need more hours in the day -__-
THREE > eating is addictive.
FOUR > i need to diet. IMMEDIATMO! <~ or however else yoo write it in french -__-;
FIVE > chao nian gao, how i’ve missed yoo… T.T i wish i could eat that more in washington!
SIX > why do i always like guys that are taken or uninterested? T.T
SEVEN > i hate makin small talk with people about nothing.
EIGHT > dun tell mee i’m cute a billion tymz! -__- o v e r k i l l means like… nothing to mee! -__-
NINE > considering how much pool i play and/or did play, i should be hella good.
TEN > considering how much ddr i play and/or did play, i should be hella good.
ELEVEN > i am good at nothing. -__-

i am going thru asianavenue withdrawal since mie internet @ home dun connect to AA for some reason… huk T.T this happens every break *twitchin*… oh well @ least i have cable modem… unlike many of yoo other suckaz… MAHAHAHA… >D next quarter i need to study mie ass off, forrealz. i’ve concluded i’m going to get all of mie work done as soon as i get back from classes… no tym for slackin, and then i can play for the rest of the night. man, i did that once and it was soooo fuqin wonderful >D so yea, imma try doing that since i don’t work afterskool and stuff anymore… and i close instead T.T i really think that mee and sora should both go on strike… AND that mie friggin boss should hire some new workers. i dunno wat he’s thinkin man. we’re college kids. he should give us better hours. i’m gonna like… die -__-; sigh. oh well… and i have learned if i ever start a business… NO HIRING FAMILY. family leads to slackerdom. eh. we got digital tv in our house. it’s whateverz. i did hella cookin today (the 29th). i made soy beans (okay, fine, not really cookin), brownies, and custard… puhaha… =) i’m such a good… cook. ^__^; okie… imma go now… and leavin yoo with some partin words… T.T

* song of the moment * — “as time goes by” bai t [korean]
* mood * — eh, it’s whateverz

1:38 am — wow… it’s so weird how yoo come back and things are still… EXACTLY THE SAME! we still do the same shit, go to the same places, hang out with the same people… it makes mee wonder when things will change… they’re bound to change sometime. i wonder that about washington people too… next year when a lot of people live off-campus in apartments and stuff… how often will i end up seein them?? *shrug. weird life. ehhh well today was a whatever day… woke up after pressin snooze on mie alarm clock lyke a billion tymz and went to church a half hour late… got many a poopi look from adults -__-; but i dun really give a fauuuuknut. blah. nice to see those church kiddos again, tho… ^__^ afterwards our lil church group jes went to eat @ in-n-out (oh in-n-out, how i’ve missed yoo), went to the mall (bought a belt… blah… bout tym… too bad i’m fat now and i dun really need a belt anymore… -__-), went to play pool… went home… went back OUT to play pool, went to milpitas to get nai cha, and went to dahye’s house to watch “zoolander”. ehhhh weird movie. ehhhhh i don’t think ben stiller is alllllll that funnie. he’s alright. there’s lotsa hot guys in that movie, tho. MAHAHA >D ehhh whatevers… okie… i have tapioca express spicy chicken breath when i burp. that’s pretty gross. mmmm spicy chicken is da shiznit. oh nice… i’ll stop writin now since it’s 1:43 am… woop woop! =) blah! mie dad went on mie computer when i was gone! even tho it was on away message… cause i came back and all these im’s were on the screen cause mie away message was gone… ehhh -__-

(diana’s response:)
i liked zoolander. mostly because my model (yes, she’s MINE dammit >P) made a cameo. yay.

you owe me a letter but you’re forgiven since you seem to be quite the busy little bee. me, i have nothing better to do so… yeah.

hope you have a fun spring break & all that good stuff. =)

* songs of the moment * — “moving on” bai toya [r&b], “miss you” bai westlife [pop], “get away” bai avant [r&b], “too gone, too long” bai en vogue [r&b], “catch-ball” bai hirai ken [japanese]
* mood * — alright i guess.1:24 am — so i’m back in the land of cali… man, forreal, how great it feels to be back. i miss everyone… it’s different tho… people here aren’t as huggy huggy as people in washington. not at all. damn, life is weird. i bet everyone went to college and made a whole plethora (<~ sat word) of new friends who are totally different from their old friends. at least, that seems to apply to most people! it’s a cool thing. college is good for broadening your horizons… and all that good shit. blah. man, okay so this morning was fucking hectic. at first [kimchi-]john was supposed to take mee to the airport this morning, cept i thot mie flight was @ 3:30 pm when it was actually @ 1:20 pm -__-; so… cause he had to come up from tacoma and he couldn’t take mee right away, i had to ask all sorts o lovely people for a ride. blah. finally got a ride from jerry. oh yes yes i owe him major. i was so tired and out of it this morning too… i dun think that i did a good job o thankin him. oh well… -__-;

anyways, i came back from a retarded tym on the plane (with all this additional waiting-in-line-like-a-crajee-fuck-ness). i no longer like plane trips because of that. the trip to the airport is just… dreadful. fuk. i wonder how international trips are like?! i wanna go to korea in the summer. i wonder if mie parents will let mee… likely? probably not. ideally? man, that’d be bomb. sigh. meet some korean kasoos… and how strange that that’s actually attainable for once! AAAH… grrr… aaah! >.<;

i was jes chillin drivin in the car tonite blastin mie hOobastank cd… and fuk… i’m sOoOoOo stoked for the incubus and hOobastank concert. man, mie two FAVORITE rock groups together… i frickin cannot wait. i have waited all year to see incubus and i finally get to… yoo can not imajin mie euphoria >.< (ever since i met tony i actually added the word “euphoric” to mie mental dictionary). sigh. it’s all rainy and stuff in cali. not much better than washington, fosheezies. -__-;

yea well we rented “O” (the remake of “othello”) tonight… and sherry and jeanette came over to watch it. man, i fucking love that movie. it’s good, even tho it pisses yoo off and frustrates yoo lyke no other… because everything is so devastating. -__-; one of the few movies that can make mee cry T.T; blah another movie that frustrated mee immensely was “blackhawk down”… must be josh hartnett! he must be the one frustrating mee! okie, perhaps not, but yea. didja guys knoe the guy who fell off the helicopter in “blackhawk down” was legolas in “lord of the rings”???? mang, too bad he’s not how in “blackhawk down” -__-; but mekhi phifer… man, dat nigga is BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL. *drOol. i remember back in the day i wrote into teen magazine askin them to do an article on him and they DID… and they wrote that i wrote in on the bottom… vivian from pleasanton, california. tightness. i meant to save that forever, but… yea, i didn’t -__-; lyke it’s a big deal anyways.

sigh. i want a boifrend. i hate hate hate how i always tend to like guys that… i don’t knoe… don’t like mee?? baaaaaah sucks. oh well. i guess that’s life. everyone has to face that kinda shiettttt. well not everyone i guess. there are a few select luckie ppo who actually can get wat they want and be satisfied with it forever. *sigh. oh well. i’m going to go play word racer altho i’m tired and i’ll probably be sleepin thru church tomorrow. man, goin to church tomorrow will be mie first tym since like three weeks into the skool year. i really don’t like going to church anymore. i don’t feel the need. i don’t feel the urgency. and i don’t feel the need to worship a god i don’t really believe in… and now that i’m sure of that, there’s no point in being fake about it. -__-

have yoo ever gotten in one of those moods where yoo jes wanna write and write and talk about everything in the world? that’s wat i’m feeling right now, hence why i’m writing in here lyke a crajee woman. i dunno. blah. i wish i could get a job writing lyriks for songs or something… then i’d be set. have a lyrikal outlet for everything on mie mind. that would be wonderful. anyone can hook mee up with that? -__- oh well… peace outside.

* song of the moment * — “lucky denver mint” bai jimmy eat world [rock], “outro” bai jinusean [korean], “saranghagi tehmooneh” bai j [korean], “drawing board” bai mest [rock], “heaven” bai dj sammy and yanou [trance], “filth” bai ed rush [drum-n-bass], “tell me” bai dj dara and j-majik [drum-n-bass] <~ this is perhaps mie favorite drum-n-bass song, so listen yoo mofo biatches.
* mood * — blah

march 21st — blah. quite an uninteresting day, actually. woke up in the morning, really did nothing, and then seungbum did mie voicemail. forrealz, yall must hear that shiet. it’s funnie as fauk. only cause he’s such a weirdo, tho… -__-;; listen to it… and then tell mee he’s not a weirdo for standing in the middle of the hallway screaming it -__-; blah. i still miss mie voicemail that phil [wu] and jeremy did fo mee tho… with the 112 “it’s the v the i the v the n”, the “do yoo guys wanna leave a messaaaaage” like chris katan’s “do yoo guys wanna buy some coookieeess”, and… sheet, i forgot the middle part… sigh. damn memory. -__-; or lack thereof. after that i jes went to work and hung out all fuqin day. not fun. i HATE closing… it’s such a bitch. a really bitchy bitch. but andrea, [pika-]john, esther, and lingo (appoe) picked mee up and we dropped andrea off and then went to gpc (a pcbang). blah. pcbang’s here are so much nicer than the ones I’VE seen in cali… but then again it’s not like i am a hardcore gamer or nothing so eh. whatevers. played a buncha free pump mahaha. ^__^ fun. especially since it was freeeeeee. i loooooove freeeeee ~

march 22nd — ehhhh woke up, went to work again! work is mie life -__-; worked til 9… had some visitors… I LOVE VISITORS… i love yoo fooz that actually come visit mee *sniff… *hug hug hug. blah after work i jes went with josh, chol, mike, steve, and dan to watch “blade two”… heh ~ funnie. cause they kept doing wrestling moves and shiet all through-out the movie… that was funnie as hell. but i don’t think very many other people found it all thaaat funnie -__-; blah. afterwards we jes went to eat at honey court… and mike paid for everyone *sniff… and then we got a ticket for parkin in the place next to honey court… which was supposedly only for tai-tung customers (and they had a pajama-wearin security guard ~ psheeeezy) and schteve paid for the ticket… blahhh i only had five bucks left of money… so i split it among the tip for the restaurant and the parking ticket… which… really… it not a lotta money for either -__-; blaaah… thanks to mie seattle university ballaz mike and steve, yoo fukin rich-asses -__-;; yea afterwards we jes went to check out their dorms @ seattle u… imo, fukin NICE… fukin nice!!! grrr… *jealous, jealous. perhaps i should go there -__-; but i’m not a balla so i guess that wouldn’t work. blahhhhh steve had all these glowstix in his room and there was this one that changes colors from orange to yello to green… and he jes broke it!!! -__-; even tho we weren’t @ rave or nothin… and mee and chol were like “AAAAHHHHH! WAT ARE YOO DOING!!! AAAAHHH!” and he’s like yea, there’s this pink to purple to blue one *taking it out* ~ “NOOOOOOOOO DUN BREAK IT!!!!!!” i think we’re more sheisty about his glowstix than he is -__-;;

have yoo guys ever talked to a person SOLELY online, and then one day he or she just… disappears? i hate that… it’s kinda lyke uhhhh did that person DIE or something… -__-;; yoo never knoe… i haven’t met any of these people lately but back in the day… yea… strange how i actually remember these people >.< sigh. wonder how they’re doing! actually… i wonder how a lot of people are doing… like old friends from high school and stuff… >.< so sad that there are so many great people that yoo meet in yur life, but ideally, yoo can only keep in touch with so many of them… if yoo try keepin in touch with everyone, yul jes have a bunch of acquaintances and not many close friends… -__-; blah. hmm… hyun is going to korea today… nyuk nyuk nyuk ~ i hope he comes back fobbified. puhaha… that’d be some shiet if he came back with long dyed bangs and stuff… i’d probably die of laughter.

sigh… life is depressing… it works out in the strangest ways. sometimes it seems the people yoo think care the most really don’t show that they do, and the people yoo dun think yoo can count on turn around and surprise yoo. -__-; it’s a bad thing, really… because then it kinda blurs the line, and yoo can’t say that yes, this person is a good friend, OR that… he or she isn’t. i don’t even knoe if i’m making sense. sigh. it’s also weird… because i don’t believe in fate… man… sometimes when i look back on things i wonder… i dunno it’s not like i regret anything but i wonder shiet, if i had been there instead of HERE how different the outcome of things would have been… blah. i believe i’m kinda shady in some of mie choices… and it’s not really that i am choosy on purpose, but it just turns out that way. i back out of things with certain people last minute… it’s not good -__-; cause i hate it when people do it to mee… and it’s cool that people are still willing to be good to mee even when i may have been fucked up to them. if this applies to yoo, sorrie -__-;

* song of the moment * — “brown eyes” bai destiny’s child, “u got it bad” bai usher, “do little things” bai changing faces, “if i ruled the world” bai nas [all r&b, rap, and hip-hop]
* mood * — hukalicious indeed… to da fullest

march 16th — brrr… fukin brrrr… so cold!! well anyways, it was snowing today. purdie tight. =) didn’t really do anything all day. i had mad plans for studying, but those went to hell because i ended up goin to get stuff for people, then to make-up wearin (mahaha), then to eatin dinner with nina and seungbum, then to jes… iono… rave… went with chol, esther, nina, andrea, [kimchi-]john, sam [poulton], grace, mike, steve, josh [hwang], suejung, and another josh (sam’s cousin). i think that’s it?? anyways, they were fun people to go with!! whoopwhoop! ^__^ i had so much fun at luckie charmz!! i made a backpack out of a luckie charmz box kakaka. it was tha shiet. a lotta people thought it was bomb ^__^ or @ least they pretended they thought so… kekeke. oh well. i dropped =X a white shark. BOMB SHIT. hella hella hella bomb. omg, that was lyke mie best roll ever. and that rave was mie best rave ever. ^__^ puhahaha… BOMB. everything was good. vibe was good, people were nice, music was good, ak1200 was bomb, andrea’s hugs were BOMB… haha!! why am i using that phrase so much?? anyways, all i remember is i said “ANDREA’S HUGS ARE THE BEST” many many many tymz… not said… more lyke screamed… puhaha. =P mehhehheh… learned how to dance a lil differently… influenced from watchin tony’s dancin i think (yay! i finally went to a rave tony was at! ^__^) but yes overall i had HELLA fun but we had to leave a lil early cause someone collapsed and stuff -__-;; but things are okay now i guess. blah!

march 17th — yea so basically i went to work today as soon as i woke up and didn’t get off until two hours later than i was supposed to because the boss’s stupid as niece was late… GRRRR biotch. oh well… then everything else is jes wateverz… hung out with random peepz. i should study, tho. forreal. i have a final tomorrow and here i am goofin off as usual. i’m really tired. i think i’ll go take a nap soon but i’m afraid cause i ate too much fo din-din -__-;; blah. maybe i SHOULD take a nap tho… damn it’s cold in seattle. man, hyun’s leaving for korea soon! boohoo! oh well. i’ll still laugh so hard if he comes back a soopah-fob tho… that’d be funnie as fuk. ^__^ anyways, i’m gettin mie luckie charmz pics back tomorrow. hopefully they turn out good =) i can’t believe i used a whole roll of film?? WTF!!! ahh ~ where does it go? -__-;

somethings i’ve concluded these past couple of days… i don’t think i will ever be so quick to conclude that a certain person is ‘perfect’ again. there was a person who i thot was perfect… nice, good-looking, blahblah, but now that i kno more about the person, it’s kinda like… damn, not perfect at all. anyways, that’s all i have to say really. -__-;

* song of the moment * — “sunray” bai goldie and j-majik [drum-n-bass], “lithium” bai nirvana [rock], “broken home” bai papa roach [rock], “differences” bai ginuwine [r&b], “garden” bai sugar soul [japanese]
* mood * — BLAH damn mee and mai lack o willpower >__<

AHHHHH so much for dieting! i dieted for two days and then… huk ~ to hell that went -__-; damn mee and mie lack o willpower! >__<; ahhhhg.

march 13th — blahblah woke up, went to classes, was greatly bored. as usual!! ^__^; afterwards i went to work… got off at around 7:30 and shiet… and then i came back and decided to go eat with chol and seungbum, and being the crajee ass foolios we are, we decided, “hey, we’re bored… let’s go raving.” -__-; yes. crajee. crajee indeed. i REALLY definitely need to cut down on expenses. i’m going broke -__-; so… we went with [kimchi-]john and mike. it was five bucks at some old firehouse. whatevers. a lil ghetto, but it was kool enough. it was kinda like a club. all the girls were all dressed up club-style and i was like… ghetto fab. as usual. but i dun give a fauk. -__-; it was dj ehcko’s 21st birthday partie… only we didn’t even see him spin ahaha ^__^* but jimmy hoffa was good! he played hard house, hip-hop, and drum-n-bass. variety. i like variety. =) and i was tre excited when the drum-n-bass came on, despite the fact that i can’t really dance to that ish -__-;; oh well it was only five bucks so it was a good way to kill some time. BLAH!

march 14th — went to classes and then i had to go to a meeting with nikkie… and shit… i’m pathetic, i forgot their names! UHHHH ~ -__-; okie… e-tarded. fo sho. no droppin this weekend. -__-; no money anyways… blah. huk ~ blah. but yea we had a meetin because we’re startin an asian-american onlinee mag… so… if anyone has any input… =) bahbahbah. afterwards i went to work for an hour because mie boss left a worker there bai herself… cause he had to go pick up his mom. ehhh ~ it was alright. an hour is kool. i need the extra money. dun mind workin a lil. jes dun lyke workin a lot (lyke i have to do tomorrow… 2 pm - 9 pm! good lawd!) blah ~ afterwards jes sat around and ate… as usual. damn, wat a boring lyfe i live. oh wellz ~

hmm so @ 2 am we decided to go to denny’s… because we’re crajee… because this girl said she’d buy a meal for chol (aka man-whore). so… yesh. we went and ate, and once again, i killed mie diet plans -__-; it was mee, josh, seungbum, chol, and the girl, diana. and carolynn showed up with her friend albert for a lil bit but then she got a phone call so she had to go >__<; blah ~ we sat there for a while… came back to u-dubb around 4:30 or 4:00 and they came to mie dorm… didn’t think they actually would, but they did. keke. but uh… blah ~ we had like almost a “sleepover” thing… with mee being the only girl >__< we jes chilled in the hallway and in the mini-kitchen place (sitting on the ironing table! woop woop!) talking and stuff… it was purdie neato. however, as always, the conversation led back to dropping, and once again i am confused as to whether or not i wish to drop on saturday… GAHHHHH -__-; mang, i jes wish i could skip friday… it’s gonna be a bad fukin day! >__< workin from 2 to 9… fuk dat shiet… however, i love love love carolynn because she’s givin mee a free luckie charmz ticket… whoop whoop whoop! =) three whoops for carolynn and seungbum! ^__^

* song of the moment * — “yaksok” bai k:ul [korean], “hazard to myself” bai pink [pop], “everywhere” bai michelle branch [pop-rock?], “right here waiting” bai monica and 112 [r&b], “words (for love)” bai paul oakenfold and paul van dyke [trance]
* mood * — blah.

11:51 pm — i’m so bored. and tired. and bored. perhaps i will go to sleep early tonight. blah. i was thinkin i should stay up to do stuff, but it’s not like i’m motivated to do anything ANYWAYS. in fact, i can’t even think of what i am supposed to do anymore. damn e-tardedness. alright, no dropping this weekend -__-;; (that will possibly change).

anyways. today was totally scrub-out day for mee… shiat, it’s like the epitome of scrubbin out!! i had plans to go to mai 8:30 class, but then i was like whateverz, and i didn’t go… and then i had chinese class, and i said, “fuck it” to that too, and i slept in some more… sigh. i really should go. considering mai chinese teacher doesn’t think i try at all!! she’s always like “yoo should learn languages because yoo learn them really easily” and i always wondered wat she meant bai that… until she explained to mee, “yea, i see yoo everyday… yoo jes flip thru the book right before the test and yoo remember everything.” but i actually DO study @ home! AHHH she thinks i dun even study… godammit, that makes mee look bad. AND i knoe she thinks i dun really care if i dun show up to class… -__-; dun think she has the best image of mee… sigh. i said i couldn’t skip all this week and last week too. mang, i really hate having breaks in beween mai classes because it makes mee not wanna go at all… -__-;

anyhoo, hana called and woke mai azz up and i went to lunch with her, tony, and ahram at thai-ger room (thai food, duh). it was good… haven’t had pad thai in the LONGEST tym. yummie, but i think a lil too spicy. should’ve knocked it down a notch -__-;; anyways, it was an interesting lunch. ahram drank a beer before she came, so she was all red… HAHA. beer… *shudder. YUK! but more pad thai sure sounds good -__-; huk ~ piggin. i’m on a diet tho, so i can’t really eat… now… sigh. -__-;; anyways, after that, came back, and chilled in tony’s dorm with him and ahram. we were there for like five hours playing video games!! CAN YOO BELIEVE THAT… -__-;; it was fun tho kakaka. we played bust-a-move, puzzlefighter, and then ended up playing ddr on the controllers… that was the funnest =) muhaha. i’m gonna play that at home. haha -__-;; when i’m feeling superbly unathletic. kaka. -__-; altho exercise is very needed. sigh. but yea, then tony came to visit mai dorm cause he’s never been here before… blah ~ and then went to eat dinner with seungbum, kenney, and heeyoung… yupyup, salad dinner again… we ended up sittin down there fo lyke two hours! jes… ‘chillin’ (i still really dislike that term). it’s whateverz. today was SUCH a kick-it day. i did NOTHING productive at all. fuqin sad.

oh yeah there was a lil sis meetin tonight too… it was whateverz… so short… i think i spent more tym walkin there than payin attention at the meetin… =P jkjk. sorta. -__-;; i need to start exercisin. AHHHH ~ too bad i ate so much junk food @ tony’s today… -__-;; oh wellz ~ bah humbug. oh yeah!! tony gave mee his element bag to borrow… AHHH it’s so beautiful!! i’m gonna use it in excess… muhaha… btw, i can’t say that word… EXCESS… -__-; i dunno how to pronounce it… nyuk!! oh well. tym to go to bed soon. might as well end this extremely UNproductive day and wake up earlier tomorrow to do something worth-while -__-;;

oh yeah (again) mee and a couple of people are starting an asian-american online mag… so… if any of yoo guys have ideas for articles and/or sections, please drop mee a line at vivs579@hotmail.com OR e-mail mee here… thanks… pz!

download “flaming june” bai BT… that song… ahhhh i fuqin LOVE.

i’m listening to… — “runaway train” bai soul asylum [rock], “watching you” bai eye [trance], “our days” bai suzuki ami [japanese], “all good” bai mo thugs [r&b]
i feel… — okay.

12:59 am — so me and eva had a lovely diss-on-people dinner conversation today, although she was doing most of the talking. very interesting! we always have diss dinner sessions. heh. wonder what us dorming together will be like next year. constant trash talking? perhaps. =P don’t mess with us… jesssss >__<;; so i haven’t gotten my housing for summer term yet. uhhhh… can we say, “vivian is going to be homeless?” my roommate hasn’t gotten hers yet either… perhaps we shall be homeless together. -__-;; haha… i liked the term “what the dill… pickle?” so it’s my subject for today, thanks to tony. ^__^ USCUSCUSC muthafucking soon. am i excited? hell-freaking-yeah =) never been to the exhibition center… plus, it’s like… heavenly line-up for me. ^__^ the crystal-fucking-method duuuuude. my favorite. and then the planet of the drums tour. i like very much so. =) better be gizagood! ah, so yes, today i had two midterms… one was a speech for chinese… which turned out really freaking poo because we were all assigned different chapters… and there were chapters like “male and female inequality”, “gun control”, and “environmental issues”, but all the good chapters were taken so i had to write about… “SHOPPING”… ugh… sounded superbly uneducated and retarded especially when everyone else was blabbering about how china was building a dam on their longest river and i was talking about buying clothes in hong kong. -__-; sad. very sad. i’m fearful of what my grade is in that class. furthermore, i had a sociology midterm which i was freaking out about but i think that i actually did pretty well. and amykchung stole my book! what a punkass! oh well… the two of us went to speech and hearing sciences today thinking we had midterm but we didn’t… so i guess that’s good… even though that class is like a super jiggityjokejoke. -__-; i plan on going shopping tomorrow and purchasing the whole muthafizuckin (woo… here we have a mutation of the muthafuck word) mall. =) yay. i need clothes. yes, i do. josh’s ghetto-fabulous ghetto car with no stereo is fixed! how i missed that mother.

* song of the moment * - “it’s going down” bai x-ecutioners [rock], “walking after you” bai foo fighters [rock], “le tempto” bai mc solaar and gangstarr [french rap], “wait and bleed” bai slipknot [rock], “nice and slow” bai usher [r&b]
* mood * - fat!

dang all i listen to these days is rock, huh? O.o;

on friday, went to classes and did a skit in chinese class… it was good! people thought our skit was the funniest, i think. *thumbs up! =) i love acting. it’s tre fun… forreal… i honestly don’t think it is very hard, tho. it’s mad fun. i love. lines are really easy for mee to memorize too… *thumbs up again. =) anyhoo, after classes i jes went to work and schitz… was sooo long… -__-; and i was so tired so i took a nap and went to work an hour later than i was supposed to (shhh!). they ended up makin mee stay an extra hour tho, so i guess it’s even -__-; i had to beg mai boss to let mee off… and then i went to esther’s dorm where her, chol, andrea, josh [hwang], and [pika-]john were drinking… hehe it was funnie cause on the way there these two rocker white guys were talkin to mee and stuffs… and then the police used their loud announcer thing and told us not to cross the crosswalk. wat a looooosir (WAL!!!!) and chol and josh were funnie drunk. on the elevator, josh kept sayin, “WE ARE NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!!” and everyone was like… riiiiiight… -__-; and then some other weird stuff… chol and josh were bowin down to mee so esther said i was the queen of the drunks. mahaha. yoo had to have been there to witness the pure hilarosity (eh?) of it. keke. but yea, after makin some phone calls, found some weed, and mee and esther went to abe and michelle’s apartment and got high. it was actually fun this tym =P and and and we were eating this ice cream bar… FUCK it was good. hahaha… i was tryin to eat it all slo and stuff… but that didn’t work. and then for some reason there was an insurance salesman on tv and he was a man dressed in a woman costume. TRYIN TO SELL INSURANCE!! who would buy that shiet?!?! (i later discovered it was vern fonk.)

anyways. passed out and stayed there overnight, only to go home in the mornin when chol called cause i had josh’s keys and josh needed to go work. so we went back to esther’s… and then watched some tv (i fell asleep again) and then went home to sleep some more. hahaha sleep galore. =P later that night marcela and myong came up from olympia so we went to dinner with them and then to nohrehbang in tacoma… tre fun! =) i love nrb… keke. nrb’s here are so much better than ours in cali… sigh… why must we live in land of ghetto nrb’s? other than musicbox? i LOVE musicbox. =P we must go when back in cali, yes yes. but yea, we went to ggr (a pc-bang) a couple of tymz and it was tre boring. so that was mai day. =P

wo yao yi ge nan pengyou! -__- well, i do, and i don’t. -__-;