Archive for July, 2001

playing pool and double eyelids.

Monday, July 30th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “qing ren” bai coco lee [mandarin].
* mood * - quite blah.ish!

10:53 PM - yet another day of pool @ room with a cue. i think we need to get some new hobbies… maybe i am just bitter because i play so much fukin pool and i still hella suck -_-; same with d.d.r.! i was one of the early people to start playing that game and i still suck… i don’t improve. oh well. whatever. earlier today fontaine, dahye, and xinlei came over cuz dahye had to drop off the presents she bought mee from korea… a green yankees hat and a thing of stickers… pretty koolio. she got sangapool [double eyelids] done… it looks pretty good but i would never do it… altho mai mom was so excited and kept saying how i should do it. no thank yoo. anyways they ate dinner at our house and then we went to room with a cue to meet up with phil [wu] [mai fourth day in a row seeing him], dave [lee] [mai fourth day in a row seeing him too haha], phil [hsieh], jason [third day in a row seeing him] and two random girls who are friends with jason… xinlei was supposed to come but her mom is just as psycho as mine, if not more-so. goddammit, what IS it with psycho asian parents… when it comes to curfew and stuff, i so wish i were a guy… =( god… today mai curfew was 10… and i think right @ 10:00 pm mai parents seriously called mee to see where i was… what the fuk… hella gay. life sucks.

fil’s house.

Sunday, July 29th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “walking away” bai craig david [english].
* mood * - okay.

11:35 PM - alrite today i had church… and it was surprising cuz i was actually awake for the sermon [i think i am always awake — but not paying attention — when jeremy sits next to mee in church cuz he always entertains mee]… but unfortunately i fell asleep [and so did sherry, virginia, and phil [wu] during sunday skool… aieya, we’re bad… hehe and fil’s mom is the teacher too =X oOps! ah, well. for lunch we went to fiesta taco which is like… an authentic mexican restaurant place… not somewhere ghetto like taco bell. it was good tho. and cheap. quesadillas for a dollar. i was thinking of this today — i wonder if mexican people who work @ taco bell are embarrassed @ that kind of ‘fake mexican food’??

anyways afterwards mee, virginia, john, and tin-win went to phil’s house and we just sat around for hours trying to figure out what to do but we didn’t think of anything good… well actually we were going to go karaoke but then we couldn’t find people to go with us [what losers], and yada yada. after tin-win and john left, justin came over and we decided to just go play pool @ room with a cue… we saw phil [nho] while we were leaving that neighborhood so we dragged him along with us too… and sherry and jeanette met up with us there too but they left right after we finished playing… meanwhile phil nho was dropped off @ home cuz he had some guests over and so mee, fil, and justin just went back to fil’s house and we lumped around outside playing with scooters and bikes and stuff until jason came and he took us to in-n-out… it was hellish cuz he’s so tall and he moves his chair hella far back and i always have to sit behind him in the backseat cuz i’m the smallest and it is soo not comfortable =( ah, well… i GUESS. ate, and then we went BACK to fil’s house and watched tv for helluv long and yeah… dave [lee] and phil nho showed up and then we just sat around and talked for a while… and they made us watch a stupid video of indian people dancing around… it was a top hit in india but it is so… iono, unmodernized. and they also made us listen to some song where they had stupid lines like “i could have got a job but i got high… i could have eaten yoo out but i got high…” etc. etc. sooo stupid.

finally kari [not carrie, apparently] and nikki came right when i was leaving… boohoo, everyone else — once again — is still out… blah. i came home and i was trying to talk to mai parents about giving mee a set curfew and they said i had to be home @ 10:00 pm on sundays!!! and i tried arguing that but yeah they claimed it was cuz mai dad has to sleep early for work. BOOHOO. =(
(fil’s response:)
Wahaha! It’s spelled KARI. And that song is GREAT! Unlike what you think.

And BTW, my mom called me at 1am and bitched at me to come home.

Then she proceeded to yell at me and tell me i needed to be home at 11 whenever she had to work the next day. Then around 2am, I was playing tetris and she randomly woke up and started yelling at me! WTF. psycho ass parents. oh well.

OH well.

yet another movie.

Saturday, July 28th, 2001

* song of the moment * - none =O
* mood * - okay.

1:14 PM - damn people who call mai house in the morning. five different people called mai house this morning @ like… ten minute intervals. urgh. and one of them was a friggin cop asking for donations for a fund for their children’s skooling! wtf is that!? i ain’t gonna pay no money for YUR children’s friggin skooling! shewt — i dun even KNO yoo. too bad i was half asleep… when diana woke mee up later [for good this time], i was thinking and now that i think about it… the lady who called from the police department thought i was mai mom… so i should have just said something like “actually i have two out-of-state tuitions to pay for this year so i’d rather pay for mai own children’s educations than for yours.” urrd. oh well. hehe the lady was kinda peeved tho… cuz she went through her whole schpeil and i didn’t say jack shit until she was like “can the cops [or something] count on you for a donation of $35 or $25?” and i was just like… “no…” and she was like “oh but it is only a one time thing and i will put you down for a goodwill booster also… a donation of $25 or $15… which would you like?”… “i’m not eighteen.”… godammit… her voice was annoying as fuk too. booooo on the police.

12:52 AM - hmmm once again it is not today but oh well anyways ;P a bunch of ppo just left mai house… sherry, dave [lee], phil [nho], phil [wu], and jason… and linette, nelson, and annie came earlier but they left an hour early… ^_^ they rented “urban legends - the final cut”… yet another movie… and this one was a stupid ass one man. it was hella funnie in some parts even tho it wasn’t supposed to be O.o; well anyways earlier tonight i went over sherry’s house to eat their food and then we stopped bai jeanette’s house cuz she was having a bbq… didn’t really do anything there… and then somehow i convinced everyone to come to mai house. straaaange — probably will never happen again. O_o;

ape-kisser lurv… we are addicted to tetrinet.

Friday, July 27th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “unknown” bai lifehouse [english]. xinlei gave mee this cd her frend burned for mee today… cuz she dun like them. YAY =)
* mood * - vunderpul.

3:05 AM — hahaha we [mee, phil hsieh, phil nho, phil wu, xinlei, allen, and fontaine] are all addicted or RE-addicted to tetrinet. we just finished playing and it is three in the morning, as yoo can see for yourself. wah, so fun. and even more entertaining because all of us are psycho and babble like idiots… and so we just end up talking about all sorts of… strange stuff. *crying* i love funnie people. xinlei, i’ll take one of yur thirty boxes of kleenex now ^_^

mystified — [while playing gran turismo 2] me and breaking just don’t get along
veevee — break.dancing? break… break???
filly — braking…!!!
quovadimus — kitkat ?

(continued later)
fildoh — i hit girls. i punch them.
filly — i get hit BY girls *ahem vivian
fildoh — i play dead arm with this girl all the time =)
quovadimus — i saw you said “i play dead with girls all the time’…
veevee — note to self : korean guys are scariee.
mystified — don’t hit girls… just hug them… really hard. see… cuz then they can’t hit back.
fildoh — allen is so sensitive
mystified — “awww, i’m sorry” *squeeze*
veevee — hahaha… *crush*
filly — note to self : vivian loves scary korean boys
veevee — note to self : yes…
mystified — asian girls are evil.
veevee — asian girls who dress all skanky and wear lotsa makeup scareeee mee
mystified — mirrors must be hard with you.
filly — no, girls on the wnba scary me
veevee — … yeah since i’m the skank who doesn’t wear shorts.
filly — you just walk around in underwear n lingerie?? whoa
fildoh — i want to see and take a picture =)
veevee — and the makeup… man it just melts off mai face when i walk outside. SHHH…
filly — cuz you’re so hot it melts
veevee — u kno the lady marmalade video?? they were alllllllllll meee. other than that fat ones.

(a little later)
quovadimus — hey viv. martha stewart made a… banada vodka smoothie
veevee — banada. OO I LOVE BANADAS
quovadimus — ME TOO.
veevee — I LIKE ADDLES AND GRAZES TOO! actually i lie i hate addles
filly — what about ozanges?
veevee — IOIIOI
mystified — it’s like… binary.
quovadimus — it’s a funny looking boob.
veevee — nooo it is a korean clothing company
filly — what kind of fucked up boobs do you know hahahahah i hope urs aren’t like that

1:03 AM — actually, i’m cheating because it is tomorrow but i will count it as today anyways. did that make sense? ;P

anyways fil just dropped mee off @ home… nice, altho he made mee pay $3 for gas. argh. -_-; well it’s okay considering no one else would take mee home. those bastards. well okay today in the afternoon mee and xinlei self-invited ourselves over to fontaine’s house to scan pictures. oh yeah on the way there i was eating an ice cream bar and i dropped a chunk of chocolate shell and it melted on mai shirt and boohoohoo. i swore off ice cream for today… ^^* urr… be right back, must take out contacts before i continue staring @ the computer screen. -_-; okay. anyways, we scanned some pictures and then um… played chinese checkers O_o; and then we went to hacienda crossings and i watched them eat pizza… and then we went to visit claire @ her house… sat around for a while, ate a few pancakes, ate some instant noodles, played some ddr… then i had to beg mai parents to go watch a movie… and after whining about it for a longass time, we went BACK to hacienda crossings to watch “planet of the apes” with fil, phil [nho], and dave [lee]. interesting movie. mee and xinlei swore off movies but apparently it didn’t happen… blah. but the only part of that movie that was good was that mark wahlberg and kyoot chimpanzees were in it. oh, and… hmmm mark wahlberg kissed the ape girl =O noooooo kiss mee dammit. errr… anyways ^^*

man, everyone is in a bad mood… =(

boredom

Thursday, July 26th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “xian wen ni zhiji (ask yourself first)” bai elva xiao [mandarin]. eeheehee. i lurv the words to this song.
* mood * - okee dokee.

2:50 PM — i just woke up. listen… only i can do this. last night i IM’ed one of mai online frendz [strictly online frendz] who i haven’t talked to in a long time… and here’s how it went.

mee — hi paul!
him — lol, yeah viv… my name is paul.
mee — dammit… what is your name then???

and he still won’t tell mee. so now he calls himself brad pitt. -_-; p’sheezy.

6:49 PM — lol… look @ this drawing that wOo drew for mee.

it’s awesome, eh? but… look @ the knife in the guys’ hands. eeps. doesn’t that tell yoo a lot about what wOo thinks of mee? ;P he’s such a good artist. ack. ** jealous jealous **.i just found out that mai parents are going to china in september. ooooo, HELL YEA!anyone want to hang out with mee tomorrow? the only loser that agreed to hang out with mee was dave but i don’t really want to spend money on a movie… *bOo on movies. i want to see “planet of the apes”, but i don’t want to pay for it… and the only reason i wanna see it is for mark wahlberg anyways ;P—

8:00 PM — i’m bored out of mai mind… hahaha. but anyways… check this out… hahahaha. http://www.asianjoke.com/pictures/eat_chinese_food.htm . if yoo dun get it um… well… um yeah. anyways, this page is funnie to look @ if yoo are super bored like mee… http://www.rubberchickens.com/funny_pictures.htm . *vivian crying* i’m sooooo bored!!!! *bOohOoHoO…

10:28 PM — i am bored out of mai mind. dammit, i said that up there. i just took a two hour break to watch tv… watched “gilmore girls”, “charmed”, and half of this show where people claimed to have videotaped ghosts flying around and stuff… but then mai brother decided he wanted to play dreamcast and the liusir called mee too. right now i’m listening to boa… man, i think she is awesome. i like her voice and i luv her songs. all the haters can… go hate someone else. O_o; i need to update mai page but there’s too much stuff i have to update @ one time and i am just super lazy. superbly lazy. ah, well… -_-; phil [nho] isn’t online yet for us to play tetrinet! bOoOoOo… today is a bad day.

buying shit is so fucking lame.

Wednesday, July 25th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “gravity” bai luna sea [japanese].
* mood * - great.

10:54 AM — argh, why am i awake? it’s too early to be awake… -_- i had to go to a job interview @ 9:00 today. i woke up @ 7:30. i went to sleep @ 2:30. bOoOo! =( well, @ least i got the job… i think i am starting next monday. but the job was easy. almost toooooo easy. i just went in, filled out some forms, and then went to a computer and took a couple of tests. the tests measured how good yoo were @ microsoft word, microsoft excel, typing, and data entry… but it was SO easy. i don’t even really kno how to use excel but it was so easy to bs! O_O but according to the typing test, i type 99 words a minute… but i felt like i was actually typing really slo… O.o; well… @ least i will get a car now since i NEED one… yay. ^_^ that company is kinda whack tho… here i was flippin out yesterday cuz i thought that they would hella interview mee but they didn’t interview mee @ all! i took the tests and then they were just like, “okay, what hours do yoo wanna work?”… weirdos. anyone want to work for them? the pay is pretty good… it’s around $11 or something… well if so, e-mail mee cuz i get $100 if i refer people… ;P and i want the money. so if yoo want the money for the job, tell mee, and i’ll get money too! ^_^

11:29 PM — okay i just back from yet another fun-filled day @ edgie’s. do we need to get a life? yes. have we gotten one? no. -_-;; well okay after mai job interview i went to the post office to mail hella shit that people bought from mee… aish… mai mom gave mee forty bucks this morning [plus ten i had of mai own money], and now, at the end of the day, i have ten left. where did all the money go? =( i’m irresponsible… >_< anyways i went to sherry’s house after going to the post office and we just sat around on her computers and she burned mai cd’s while i played snood @ her place. fun-filled lives we live, eh?? yeah after a while tin-win showed up and i drove their asses to sun-valley mall… bought a friggin bathrobe [for college], a tube top from american eagle [only $4.99!!!], and these skechers [but in red] that look like the etnies i wanted… only half the price ;P so i’m very happie with that… even tho mai mom will kill mee if she finds out i bought another pair of shoes… *shhh. i have so many pairs of skater shoes and i’m not even a skater. i’m a wannabe… i wish i were -_-; i wanted this independent shirt from pac-sun too but boohoo… i always see the shirt on display @ EVERY pac-sun, but there are NEVER any more of it. pisses mee off hella >_< ah, well. after that we went to the blackhawk pizzaria and we ate spaghetti… jeanette met up with us and then we went back to sherry’s and tried to deciding what to do [jeanette went to dance class during this time]. mee and sherry were trying desperately to get tin-win to go to edgie’s with us… but she sooo hates it… we tried hiding her keys, tried blocking the stairway… nothing worked… instead she went to clubsport instead of hanging out with us… *HMPH! oh well. i have nothing meaningful to say.

asians in the media… and diana’s awesome rant.

Tuesday, July 24th, 2001

i was @ soompi.com today and people were talking about how asians get stereotyped in hollywood. they complain when the asians are portrayed as the geeks, they complain when asians are portrayed as kung-fOo masters, and they complain when asians are portrayed as gangsters. WHAT THE HELL DO YOO EXPECT? it’s like that even in asian movies godammit… asians are either hardcore killers, kung-fOo masters, or geeks. so…??and then these people are complaining about how they hate these racist stereotypes and shit… and then they go around saying, “oh i hate these redneck muthafuckaz”… uhhh that’s not racist i swear.

and then this one girl got pissed off because she read a history book and asian people got their stores bombed… i think that was probably during the l.a. riots when all that shiet between the koreans and the blacks were goin down… i’m not sure because that girl didn’t even kno what the hell she was talking about, but she said, “i was reading this umm.. social studies book in grade 9.. and there we were doing the law unit..and there was this story about this person walkin into a azn store and bombing their store cuz the azn pplz stopped them from stealing or sumthing.. and it pissed me off cuz why are azn pplz always the one getting killed or bombed or wutever in storys or book”. godammit, it’s a HISTORY BOOK. that means it fuking happened. and yoo can get pissed off cuz an asian got killed in a mofo history book? sheesh…

and then the same person that started that stupid post saying that asians are the ONLY ethnicity to be really portrayed poorly in hollywood dared to say that “its like all the asian women are running off with the white boys while the asian men are portrayed to be “less” of a man”. uhhh… okay… so when the asian guys are gun-toting gangster fOoz in movies that portrays them as less of a man? define a man, then… they don’t like the smart people because they’re not considered men, they don’t like the gun-toting fOoz cuz they’re not considered men… then what the hell is considered a man? what the hell do yoo WANT?? i mean it’s not like white people aren’t stereotyped in asian movies too… and yeah… black people don’t get stereotyped in hollywood? PLEASE… they’re often considered gangbangers and players. and hispanics get stereotyped too. i hate these dumbass asians. always thinkin that just because asians are the most ‘different’ from caucasians, they’re the ones that get picked on the most. please. -_-
(random guy’s response:)
i’m copying and pasting this from something else

“follow your dreams” is a very american sentiment… like only an american would pack up all their shit and leave Iowa to come to california for no other reason than to become famous.

you see AZNs packing shit up and moving to america but that’s cuz they are looking for money or a better life, nothing as trivial as fame. AZNs culturally i think are a lot more utilitarian.

American’s think “money can’t buy happiness” but AZNs think the exact opposite.

so part of the reason why you see so few AZNs in the media, yes, it is because “the man” is keeping us down, but it is also ourselves keeping ourselves down.

15 year old Asian American kid says to dad “i wanna be an actor” dad says “wtf, how are you going to support yourself? How are you going to feed yourself? How will you take care of your kids? you should become a doctor or engineer or something else instead”.

And thus, before the seeds of the dream even get a chance to sprout, they are already cut down. So combine “the Man” with the lack of support from family, and it’s no wonder no AZNs make it in show biz.

Of course, then there is the racial typecasting. You see AZNs in very few roles, and they are often either bad guys in movies (you can never trust those azn’s, they ride around on motorcycles with uzis), or they are the old dude that trains the white hero how to fight. Or if they are lucky enough to be the hero, they never get to kiss the white or black female lead role, because for whatever reason, even though the AZN male is allowed to kick some ass, he’s still not man enough to get the girl.

And why do you always see the same 5 asian guys in movies, playing the same 5 karate masters and kung fu bad guys? Well that goes back to the first thing… so few asians ever make it in show biz anyway. so if you wanna cast some kung fu bad guys, well, you gotta get the same 5 guys cuz they are the only ones around.


(diana’s response:)

i disagree with what’s written there. that’s just a bunch of “i’m the victim” bs.

it’s not only asian parents who discourage their children from getting into show biz. most parents would disapprove. not necessarily because they just want to be difficult, but because of genuine concern. the world of entertainment is a risky place with no guarantees.

a lot of great actors/musicians/models had absolutely NO support from their families, but they ran off to pursue their dreams anyway. that’s called drive. that’s called desire. so if you’re going to say, “yeah, well, i wanted to be an actor but my dad wouldn’t let me” obviously, you do not posess those qualities so it’s a good thing your dad didn’t approve, for you would’ve been a TERRIBLE actor with no passion. if you’re not willing to put everything on the line for you dream, you don’t deserve to achieve it. so stay at home and become an engineer, because there’s already enough talentless actors in hollywood.

as for lack of diverse roles, that’s expected. in the old american b&w movies, where were the black people? they were the servants & the laborers is all. back then, that’s all the majority of people knew them as, so that’s the only roles they were casted in. but times have changed and now there are black characters of all kinds: businessmen, heroes, villains, gangsters, nerds, etc. in current american movies, the question isn’t “where are they” but “where AREN’T they”?

so on one hand, people complain that asians get no roles. then in the very same breath, they complain that the only roles are as kung-fu-fighting heroes or kung-fu-fighting villains. stupid me actually thought that those were called roles..! and as for the asians + martial arts typecasting, what’s wrong with that? we have to get started somewhere, now don’t we? and haven’t you noticed the popularity of these movies? the vast majority display mediocre acting skills, but people still go to see it! it sells!! so if it ain’t broke, why should hollywood try to fix it?

and yes, there is a lack of asian actors. GOOD asian actors. that’s not hollywood’s fault. you think you’ve got talent, but you give up because “the MAN” & your parents are against you? well then, go crawl under a rock because you are of no use to this world and you’d never make it in this cutthroat business. yes, culture is a factor, and white americans would have a much “easier” time to pursue their dreams of acting glory. but guess what? it’s not only in the entertainment world where minorities have to work twice as hard as the whites to get the same amount of recognition. you better get used to it and get stronger or you’ll never last.

oh, and wtf is up with all this “not man enough” macho bullshit? ooh~ not man enough because you don’t get to kiss the girl?? news flash: you’ll never be man enough. if you think getting the girl = proving your masculinity, then go ahead and move to an all-male planet where all the guys can pat you on the back and cheer you for fucking a lot of girls. no wonder you’re not man enough; that way of thinking — however widespread & accepted as it may be — is immature. boys need to get the girl to feel like a man. a man knows he’s a man regardless of what other people think, and he doesn’t need to go around “proving” it.

crazy driving, pool-playing, lame milpitas.

Monday, July 23rd, 2001

* song of the moment * - “could not ask for more” bai edwin mccain [english]. a song from one of the cd’s that i burned @ fil’s house today. ^_^
* mood * - great.

11:58 PM
i’m gonna include times now… kinda like a blog. cuz i think most likely i will write in here more than once a day, so i’d might as well… right? right. roooight.

anyhoo i just got home from a day of um… well… a day of jason’s crajee driving, pool-playing, eating, and… yeah. O_O; que interesante. well to start off with, mee, karen, fil, joanna, and karen’s frend were supposed to go karaoke in richmond and we had everything planned but then i called karen and she said that she couldn’t go today cuz she had to do homework. urgh. and for the longest time mee and fil were trying to think of what would be better to do and who we could invite… and no one wanted to hang out with us! >P finally we conned jason and sherry into coming with us… hehe. they are helluv embarrassing… they kno i think this one guy is hella hot so they always call him and tell him, “oh yeah vivian thinks yur hot” and stuff like that… **embarrassing**. ah, well. i’m shameless anyways =P fil says i make it obvious when i think someone is hot. is that right? O_O; i wonder… it probably is tru… cuz i don’t really care if they kno, i guess.

anyways fil picked mee up @ mai house @ 4:00 PM-ish and i went over to his house and just burned a couple of cd’s… jason came in a little bit and then we harrassed sherry into coming. we were watching tv while we were waiting for her. hahaha. it’s hella funnie… on the way here, sherry said near the 680 / 580 junction an old blue toyota with two guys and three girls pulled up next to them with four signs that said : 1) we are vivian’s friends; 2) you are vivian’s friend; 3) that makes us friends; *insert crazy look from sherry to them* 4) vivian hua?!

oh dearie… i am scared. i have some scarie friends, apparently. but i don’t kno who it could possibly be… O_o; any suggestions, anyone?

when sherry got there jason drove us to milpitas. man… he’s a scarie driver ‘when he wants to be’. which is a lot =P i think i have concluded that the majority of subaru drivers are 1) obsessed with their cars; 2) psycho drivers. i guess i only kno four subaru drivers tho… eugene who 2 definitely holds tru for… the jason i hung out with today both 1 + 2 holds tru for… jason (yu) 1 holds tru for and i’ve only been in his car once so i don’t remember if 2 is tru… and jacoby 1 holds tru for but i don’t kno about 2 once again =P but i’m sticking to mai theory anyways.

we got nai-cha [well i got xian-chao stuff] in milpitas and then we went to edgie’s to shoot some pool… only played three games cuz everyone got sick of it and then we went to buy cigarettes for jason *sigh* and eat @ in-n-out. i guess that was um cool? O_o; actually we didn’t really do all that much but it took up like six hours. strange. went back to edgie’s to meet up with fil and jason’s frend jimmy who yoo could HELLUV tell did not want to talk to mee… didn’t even ask what our name was or anything and then when i asked him questions it was just like a two word answer. hmph. at least jason is nicer and SMILES more shiet. maybe it is courtesy smiling, but it is a nice thing to see people smile yoo don’t kno laugh @ what yoo say cuz then yoo dun feel TOTALLY stupid. even tho when i first met him [for the second time] i could tell he thought i was a little too strange… hehe. getting more used to it, i believe.

we ended up going to this girl amy’s house afterwards but she had to sleep after ten minutes so we left and went to jimmy’s house… he has a nice place in the preserve… we almost moved there last year haha. during their opening day, our family and fil’s family went their and ate all their free food and then decided that we didn’t want to buy the house there hahaha =P hella cheap >P dammit i wish i had moved there because that would be closer to places than livermore is =(

but yea that was the end of our little journey… went back to fil’s house and sherry had to take mee home but jimmy, jason, and fil are still out doing something. damn people with no fuking curfew *grumbles to self.

graduation party, buying shit.

Sunday, July 22nd, 2001

* song of the moment * - “happy” bai avant [english].
* mood * - i’m wallowing in bitterness.

urgh. i just came back from maulin’s graduation party thing… yeah, sort of late, but whatever. ugh. everyone else went bowling but i came home early to earn butt-kissing points cuz i want to go karaokeing with karen tomorrow but now mai parents won’t even let mee cuz they think i go out too much. what kind of shit is that??? i’m the only fucking person who stays home on saturday nights [ie yesterday] but that was because they said i had to clean the house. which i didn’t do. which i SUPPOSE is mai fault. but they have no reason for not letting mee go out tomorrow… god i hate this shit… they hear karaoke and then they automatically assume it’s soo evil and stuff. and i even told them it was because karen is going to taiwan in three days and i want to hang out with her before she leaves… and that we’ve been talking about it for helluv long… ugh whatever i guess i shouldn’t even give a shit anymore… i’m used to this kind of shit. and i told them that was the reason i never asked to go anywhere i wanted to go — because they never let mee. and they say they always let mee. mai ass. they only let mee go out in the daytime. and then i never have a car anymore so they expect mee to get people to pick mee up all the time 24/7 if i want to go out… and they think no one goes out everyday… HAHA MAI ASS WHAT THE FUK DO YOO THINK SUMMER IS FOR?? -_-; anyways, no one ever fuking WANTS to pick mee up because geez i live hella fucking far away from the highway and it’s totally out of the way… luckily for mee people actually DO pick mee up [cuz they feel sorry for mee or something] or else i’d be sitting home ALL THE FUCKING TIME. helluv not fair… i hate mai life. not just mine… i hate life in general. what a fuking pointless waste of time, energy, brain power, etc.

okay today we had church and afterwards we went to wherehouse cuz i had a fifty dollar gift certificate… used it to buy avant’s “my thoughts”, incubus’ “s.c.i.e.n.c.e”, and gOogOodolls’ “dizzy up the girl”. that was definitely mai exciting point of the day [how pathetic]. it was koo though cuz i only had to pay less than two bucks of mai own money. tight. then we went to some boring picnic. and then to maulin’s thing. yeah. i’m sick of writing in here.

oh yeah and yoo kno what? the other day mai dad was talking about how he was soo glad i was going to skool outside of california because california was too liberal and he didn’t like it. heh. isn’t that nice? i wonder if he knows how liberal i am.

berkeley and psychological tests.

Friday, July 20th, 2001

* song of the moment * - “key to my heart” bai craig david [english]. this song is sooo good. sherry bought his cd today… most of it is really good, with an exception of like two not so good songs… there’s one song that sounds helluv good but the lyriks are stupid as hell… they go like “i am the booty man” or something along those lines. har har har.
* mood * - eh, not too great although i don’t have a specific reason why.

i hate to wake up @ 6:00 AM today. it was hell. i had to be dropped off @ sherry’s house in the morning before mai mom went to work. argh. so yeah, i got to her house and her parents were awake cuz they had to go to work, but as soon as i entered, her dad was like, “do you want to play on the computer or sleep?” and i chose to sleep. couldn’t get to sleep @ first but it was actually pretty comfortable after a while. sherry woke up earlier than i did and she went into mai room to check to see if i was awake yet, and she said that at first i was sleeping with mai eyes closed… and then when she came back to check on mee i was sleeping with mai eyes OPEN O_O <~ she said mai eyes were hella big too! that is soooo friggin scarie O_o;

well @ like 1-ish we [mee, sherry, tin-win, and jeanette] went to berkeley… mai favorite city in the united states, i think. i don’t kno why i like it so much. but i SO want to go to skool there. dammit, i think mee and tin-win should switch places — she should go to u.dubb and i should go to berkeley. not that i don’t LIKE u.dubb, but i like berkeley better. and everyone says they see mee as a berkeley girl. arrrrr. >_< wish i were smarter ;P no wait… wish i actually gave a shit in high skool. anyways, the main reason i went to berkeley was to buy books for chinese 1 so i could learn the material… cuz i’m taking chinese 2 this fall and i have to learn first year stuff before i can survive that class. shouldn’t be too hard. i kno all the material already… i can read it all… the only problem is learning how to write it all hahaha. and i have to learn pinyin correctly too. the only pinyin i kno is the pinyin i taught maiself… so it’s not entirely accurate. but close enough (?)

we ended up paying about $10 for parking. helluv crajee. we walked to the downtown berkeley bart station… took it to frisco. cost $5.30 round-trip. goddammit, why the hell is transportation so expensive around here? *grumble grumble. in berkeley we went to check out the metreon and watched “america’s sweethearts” there… we were gonna watch the 5:45 showing but then we discovered that their matinee ends @ 5 PM! what kinda shiet is that? being the cheap people that we are, we skipped the previews and watched the 4:15 showing… it was an alrite movie. pretty funnie, but a little too cheezy for mai tastes. urgh… helluv embarrassing… we were sitting in the front left corner of the theatre and cuz we were late it was mee and jeanette sitting together and tin-win and sherry sitting together… right when the movie was starting, jeanette spotted a better spot towards the back and in the center… and she sprinted across the friggin front of the theatre and i was going to not go that way so i went up the side and then realized there WAS no other way around it… so right when the movie was starting i friggin ran across the front of the theatre with mai damm squeaky vans. ARRRRGH. SO EMBARRASSING >_<

i sooo want to learn how to skateboard. man, if i knew how, i’d be skateboarding to all mai classes. too bad… i don’t think i’ll be able to be that good. especially considering i have no REAL skater frendz. >_< arr… must learn. and must buy snowboard too.

anyways we ate pasta back in berkeley… there was this good, cheap place that was like $6.00 for a hella fat plate. there was this guy sitting in the table next to the one we sat in when we entered… and i was asking tin-win and them what a calzone was and then this guy just randomly said, “calzone? it’s a meatball thing with sauce and cheese and blah…” and i was like… “o ok thanks” and then later he’s like “yeah, this place is good tho,” and i was just like, “yeah, yoo better be right [jokingly o_O]” and he kinda laughed… and he just sat there the whole time we were eating and for a while he was looking @ the lyriks in this cd he bought and the other half of the time i think he was watching us eating or something. weird =P

afterwards we back to sherry’s house and they rented “any given sunday”… i watched maybe like a half hour or so of it… interesting, but the plot is hella easy to guess. see, now mai movie tally for the past two months is up to… thirteen — not counting repeats.

i just took the personality disorder test @ http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv . according to those results… mai disorders are :

paranoid - low
schizoid - high
schizotypal - high
antisocial - low
borderline - low
histrionic - low
narcissistic - moderate
avoidant - moderate
dependent - low
obsessive.compulsive - high

test details @ http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html ! it’s kinda accurate. especially the schizoid part. can’t say that i am a LONER, but i dunno ;P maybe i secretly AM and i really dun have any frendz. *dun dun dun! but it’s kinda weird that i got high in schizoid and schizotypal [which i don’t agree with] and hella low in the antisocial. does that make sense?!? nOoOo.


Socialized through Gregarious 42